The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week
Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. So each week, we round up the most hilarious 280-character quips from moms and dads to spread the joy.
Scroll down to read the latest batch and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more!
Helping your kids with their math homework is a good way to teach them about math and swear words.
— MyQuestionableLife (@2questionable) February 7, 2018
My life can be hard, but obviously not as hard as the dad who just yelled, "FIVE SECOND RULE!" in this Chuck E. Cheese.
— Kate Hall (@KateWhineHall) February 9, 2018
Whatever clothing style parents are into when they have their first kid is the style they’re stuck in for the rest of their lives.
— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) February 3, 2018
Two or more children is called a "too loud"
— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) February 5, 2018
Opening your kid’s backpack on Monday. pic.twitter.com/JvYlXF6wZt
— Jennifer S. White (@yenniwhite) February 5, 2018
Just saw a toddler swipe a fish tank because he was ready to watch something else.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) February 6, 2018
Me: Honey, do you think Daddy could answer any of these questions?
My daughter, head tilted so that her lips fit under the slat below the locked bathroom door: I don't think so. Why?— Lauren Mullen (@DraggingFeeties) February 9, 2018
Letting my kids make pretend food for me. But the ingredients they are using suggest they might be trying to pretend poison me.
— Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) February 6, 2018
A cool thing about having kids is that you can get out of doing stuff you don't wanna do by telling people your kid is sick.
— Real American Dadass (@R_A_Dadass) February 6, 2018
Parenting never gets easier. It just morphs into new and exciting varieties of difficulty.
— the Mom TruthBomb (@momTruthBomb) February 5, 2018
My 3-year-old yelled, "I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF SOMETHING," from on the toilet.
Nobody was asking her to do anything.
She just thought we should know.— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) February 5, 2018
You know daycare had a good birthday party when your kid comes home with chocolate on their socks.
— dadpression (@Dadpression) February 9, 2018
Kids before school: No! I don't want to go to school.
Kids after school: Let's play school.— Molly England (@bluebonetbabies) February 5, 2018
Sometimes I sit and wonder, how did I ever clean without baby wipes?
— MotherPlaylist (@MotherPlaylist) February 7, 2018
"STOP TELLING ME WHAT TO DO"
- I yell to my children— DaddyJew (@DaddyJew) February 8, 2018
Two-year-old: *picks up half lemon* lemon! *tastes it* SOUR
Me: Yeah buddy you probably don’t want—
2yo: *tasted lemon again* sour!
Me: You uh
2yo: *wanders off munching on lemon* sourrrr— Dave Learns Dadding (@DaveLearnsToDad) February 5, 2018
A "teeter-totter" can also be called a "baby catapult."
— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) February 7, 2018
My son says I only had kids so I could make them do chores. Like yes, I made a bunch of messy, whiny poop machines so they could cry while doing a crap job of cleaning that I just have to redo later.
— MamaFizzles (@MamaFizzles) February 8, 2018
Arts and crafts with a toddler is basically just focused damage control. #toddlerlife #ArtOfTheDay #crafts #dadlife pic.twitter.com/juaycCNiIN
— Timmy Bear (@mykidsarecazy) February 3, 2018
My son looked down at his cereal and loudly whispered, "Ahhh just like in the old times" so wtf is he reincarnated or something cuz I don't have enough shit to worry about
— Valerie (@ValeeGrrl) February 6, 2018
Me: want to talk?
6: sure. But I've been thinking about important things.
Me: that's okay, that's what I'm here for.
6: why don't we use chocolate for money instead of coins and bills? It just doesn't make sense.— Mike Reynolds (@EverydayGirlDad) February 6, 2018
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This article originally appeared on HuffPost.