These are the Funniest Dad Jokes, According to Kids
Because we love dad, we laugh at his jokes (whether it's with him or at him is irrelevant). But not every dad joke is created equal, and for this reason, it seems only fair to let the experts—a bunch of kids—rate the ones worth retelling again and again.
We hung out on the playground and pitched dozens of corny dad jokes to let the pros tell us which ones were funny and which ones fell a bit flat. From the joke that scored the biggest eye roll to the one that won the loudest laugh, here's how it went.
Illustration by Emma Darvick
Why did the math problem look so sad?
Because of all its problems.
"Oh, I get it. Ha. Ha." —Jane, 8 years old
Kid Rating: 0 out of 10 stars
What did the police officer say to the belly button?
You're under a vest.
"I don't get it." —Valentina, 7 years old
Kid Rating: 1 out of 10 Stars
Why did the coffee go to the police?
It got mugged.
"Is this even a joke?" —Vivian, 8 years old
Kid Rating: 2 out of 10 Stars
What did the slow tomato say to the others?
Don't worry; I'll ketchup.
"Eh. It's kind of lazy." —Oliver, 10 years old
Kid Rating: 3 out of 10 Stars
How does Darth Vader like his toast?
On the dark side.
"You should have asked my cousin this one." —Hayley, 8 years old
Kid Rating: 3 out of 10 Stars
Why did the coach go to the bank?
To get his quarter back.
"I've heard better." —Emilia, 9 years old
Kid Rating: 4 out of 10 stars
How do celebrities stay cool?
They have lots of fans.
"It's not bad enough to be a dad joke." —Kimberly, 11 years old
Kid Rating: 5 out of 10 stars
Why do melons have weddings?
Because they cantaloupe.
"It's decent but what if you don't know what elope means?" —Eleanor, 11 years old
Kid Rating: 6 out of 10 stars
What did the fisherman say to the magician?
Pick a cod, any cod.
"I give it a 7 but it's only a 7 if you know how to tell it." —Sammy, 9 years old
Kid Rating: 7 out of 10 stars
What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta.
"That's pretty funny." —Romeo, 9 years old
Kid Rating: 7 out of 10 stars
Why don't eggs tell jokes?
They'd crack each other up.
"I get it. Eggs crack." —Cole, 7 years old
Kid Rating: 8 out of 10 stars
Did you hear the rumor about butter?
Better not spread it.
"It makes sense because you spread butter on toast." —Donovan, 6 years old
Kid Rating: 8 out of 10 stars
Why don't crabs give to charity?
Because they're shell-fish.
"I didn't see it coming!" —Sierra, 14 years old
Kid Rating: 9 out of 10 stars
What did one ocean say to the other?
Nothing. They just waved.
"The oceans can actually kind of wave because of the currents." —Henry, 5 (almost 6) years old
Kid Rating: 10 out of 10 stars
What kind of cheese can never be yours?
Nacho cheese.
"This may be the best one." —Kyle, 12 years old
Kid Rating: 15 out of 10 stars
