Finding hope in coronavirus support groups
As many infected with the coronavirus have discovered, physical symptoms of the illness are only part of the battle, and it’s the emotional toll that many say they were unprepared for. Some seek out therapy or find comfort with friends and family, but connecting with others who are sick or have recovered has become a lifeline for many who are making connections through online support groups. Yahoo Life spoke with members of these groups who shared what it’s like to be sick, as well as how these communities have helped them heal. “The purpose of a support group like this is to have a community where you feel safe with other people who are not going to judge you and who are not going to try to put you in a category,” Kate Daly, 45, tells Yahoo Life. Daly says that she’s been battling coronavirus symptoms since early March, and turned to a Facebook support group to find others like herself. Jay Sinrod, a television producer from New York, started the group Daly and others belong to after family members fell ill. “There is absolutely no substitute for learning about COVID-19 from those suffering from the virus,” says Sinrod. “I want people to feel hope and comfort and to be assured they are not alone,” he added. “We all really act like a family,” said Danny Haro, 21, who tested positive for COVID-19 on April 5th. Haro joined a group started by Fiona Lowenstein, a New York City-based writer, producer, and founder of Body Politic, a queer feminist wellness collective. Lowenstein says she formed the group along with her colleague after the two became sick in early March. “I quickly realized that there was not enough online content or resources dedicated to people struggling with coronavirus,” says Lowenstein. “When you're struggling to get your employer to understand why your recovery isn't taking two weeks like the WHO says it should, validation from others experiencing the same struggles can be really helpful.” Gilda Oliveira, 38, was 27 weeks into her pregnancy when she got sick, and experienced symptoms so severe that she was hospitalized, put into a medically induced coma, and needed the aid of a ventilator for three days. “The last thing I do remember before they put me on the ventilator was they were saying that, if worse comes to worse, they would do anything they could to avoid it, but they would probably have to induce [labor],” says Oliveira, who is now at home and recovering. Jessica Stapleton, 37, revealed the toll her illness has taken on her family. “I have two young girls and this is very scary for them,” she says. “We actually taped off my door with painter’s tape to show them that they weren’t allowed to cross that and my youngest would sit there and read or just lay there and watch mommy. It’s very difficult.” “I do believe [being a part of a support group] truly helped me because I was beginning to go to a dark place because I felt like I was by myself going through this,” says Leslie Rowls, 42 “No one has been through this,” says Jared Mercier, 35. “To be able to talk anyone else who is on the same page with you has been a really good thing.”
Video Transcript
- The purpose of a support group like this is to have a community where you feel safe, with other people who are not going to judge you and who are not going to try to put you in a category-- sorry-- and are not going to try to tell you that you shouldn't be feeling that way. I'm Kate.
- So my name is Gilda.
- I'm Danny.
- My name is Brandy.
- My name is Leslie.
- My name is Jared.
- Hi, my name is Jessica.
- And I've had symptoms of COVID-19 since March 11.
- I got it worse than my own 84-year-old father.
- I was cleaning the commode, and I realized I could not smell the Pine-Sol.
- There was nights where I had to, like, hold my chest. I was fearing the worst. I thought, you know, maybe this is it.
- I called my doctor back again because then, my coughing started getting worse. And he thought it was-- since I'm pregnant, I have heartburn with my pregnancy. He thought it was the acid reflux, kind of, like, GERD-like symptoms going into my lungs.
- Midnight, I actually told my wife, maybe we shouldn't sleep in the same bed because my throat's hurting. We were preparing. We thought we were doing the right thing in trying to protect ourselves.
- I have two young girls, and this is very scary for them. We actually taped off my door with painter's tape to show them that they were allowed to cross that. And my youngest would sit there and read or just lay there and watch mommy. It's very difficult.
- The last thing I do remember before they put me on the ventilator was that they were saying that if worse comes to worse, they said, you know, they would do anything they could to avoid it. They would probably have to induce me also. They did have to give me an anti-anxiety medicine before they put on the ventilator because the mask-- I apparently was freaking out because I couldn't breathe at all. And I did not want to wear the mask. And I was hyperventilating and all this stuff. And they had to do everything they could to calm me down.
- I'm telling everybody I'm OK. I'm going to make it. I'm fine. Don't worry. And at the same time, I'm making goodbye videos privately.
- So there is a fear that begins to get in you that, will this turn so drastic that you won't know what to do?
- So in my daily round of googling for information, I came across "The New York Times" piece that Fiona Lowenstein wrote, talking about recoveries. And she mentioned that she had started a support group.
- You feel validated. You feel like it's OK. And you're not just hearing it from a nurse and doctor's point of view.
- Like, we all really act like a family. Like, if someone says, like, "I have leg pain. does anyone have leg pain?" Well all be like, relax. We all have it, too. You're going to be OK.
- So it isn't as much that you're getting the hope of, yay, it's going to end, and I can expect the ending to be on this day. It's not that. It's the "at least we're all in the same boat." At least I've got somebody to talk to while I'm here, wondering when I'm going to feel like myself again.
- I do believe it truly helped me because I was beginning to go to a dark place because I felt like I was by myself going through this.
- You know, no one has been through this. So to be able to talk to anyone else who is on the same page with you has been a really good thing.
- You don't want to be a victim. You want to be a survivor. But at the same time, you still need that emotional support around you to help you get through that. Even if it's in a group full of strangers, then so be it. You know, you've got to find it somewhere.
