What Your Favorite Star Wars Movie (or Obscure TV Show) Says About You
This week, the iconic Star Wars Skywalker Saga will come to a close with the release of Episode IX: The Rise of Skywalker, but that’s not going to be the end of Star Wars. Indeed, it’s wild now to imagine a world where there were only ever three movies, back before the prequel trilogy and well before Disney bought Lucasfilm and started churning out movies and TV shows like they were battle droids in that factory from Episode II: Attack of the Clones.
What, did you forget about that scene? It’s fair if you did, but given how popular Star Wars is, chances are it’s beloved by someone who claims Attack of the Clones is their favorite movie in the franchise. To be clear and judgmental upfront: Your favorite entry in the Star Wars franchise says a lot about your tastes and who you are, so consider us the Jedi Archives, because we’ll explain what it all means. Find your favorite on the list below, and be honest. Search your feelings. You know it to be true.
Episode I: The Phantom Menace
You have fond memories of your childhood and are willing to defend them to the death. However, you also maybe haven’t really revisited those memories in a while because some of them do… not hold up at all, if we’re being even a little bit honest with ourselves.
Episode II: Attack of the Clones
Episode III: Revenge of the Sith
You’re dark and edgy, and you take pride in being “the best,” even if haters will note that your competition isn’t exactly impressive.
Episode IV: A New Hope
You love the classics, and you’re nostalgic for an era when everything felt fresh and exciting and there actually was hope, let alone a “new” one. You’ll be damned if any Wookiee gets a medal, though.
Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back
You tend to gravitate towards safe, obvious choices, which makes it very frustrating for your contrarian friends when you’re right far more often than you’re wrong. There might also be some daddy issues lurking there too.
Episode VI: Return of the Jedi
You saw Return of the Jedi when you were young and either the Ewoks or “Slave Leia” were extremely formative for you. Or... perhaps both were? Either way, I sense a disturbance in the Force.
Episode VII: The Force Awakens
You crave the familiar, but you don’t consider that to be a bad thing. If it ain’t broke, why fix it? Just slap a fresh coat of paint on that sucker and let’s play it back. (Maybe a little bit more diverse this time, though.)
Episode VIII: The Last Jedi
You’re a bold risk-taker who craves something new—let the past die, even if it’s messy. You’ve made the “Okay, Boomer” mentality a way of life. Also, you ride hard for Laura Dern.
Episode IX: The Rise of Skywalker
You hated The Last Jedi so much that you’re ready to call The Rise of Skywalker your favorite Star Wars movie even though it hasn’t come out yet and you haven’t seen it just to prove a point.
Rogue One: A Star Wars Story
You’re rebellious, which is fitting, and you’re a realist who is willing to tell the hard truths that other people might shy away from. (Like, for instance, the hard truth that Rogue One is the best Star Wars movie, please don’t @ me.)
Solo: A Star Wars Story
You’re low-stakes and just looking for a good time. Not everything needs to be the end of the world. Sometimes it’s nice to just hang out with your cool, fun friends (even if there’s a lot of double-crossing and backstabbing in that friend group).
The Expanded Universe
You’re still mourning Mara Jade and all the other beloved characters that Disney erased from canon like some Mickey Mouse-eared Death Star. Oh well, at least they’ll live on in Wookiepedia, which you are 100 percent an editor for.
The Clone Wars (Genndy Tartakovsky’s)
You went to SVA or Caltech and have a distinctive sense of style. You appreciate art, but you also appreciate a dope action scene.
The Clone Wars (Movie)
You love the character Ahsoka Tano, Anakin Skywalker’s feisty Jedi apprentice, but were somehow unaware that the Clone Wars TV series—which is much better than this theatrically released movie—exists. Do we have some great news for you!
The Clone Wars (TV Show)
You appreciated a doomed, futile cause. In other news, you spend a lot of time trying to convince your friends who have just seen the main Star Wars movies that they should really be watching this cartoon because it does what the prequels were trying to do.
Star Wars Rebels
You enjoy being a know-it all and explaining references and Easter eggs to your friends—it truly does not matter whether they asked or not.
Star Wars Resistance
You’re just treading water waiting for something that matters to actually happen.
The Mandalorian
You like a gritty adventure with real stakes and a mature story, because the seriousness of Star Wars has always been what appealed to you. LOL just kidding! You would kill and die for Baby Yoda.
Any of the Lego Star Wars
One of your parents loves Star Wars, but the other one thinks that the live-action movies are too violent. As a result, Lego Star Wars is your favorite.
The Robot Chicken Star Wars specials
You are funny, but also unable to appreciate things for what they are without adding a level of irony or wry humor. Just let things be without throwing your two cents in, maybe?
The Family Guy Star Wars specials
The same as The Robot Chicken Star Wars specials above, except you’re just a little bit worse.
The Star Wars Holiday Special
Like every actor when they shot the Star Wars Holiday Special, you are deliriously high on some combination of coke and quaaludes.
The filmmaker says the end of the Skywalker Saga really feels like an ending.
The only actor to appear in every film in the franchise to date, Daniels is mere days from capping off an iconic run.
The twisty, star-studded new movie hits theaters this week. You’ll want to watch it over and over again.
Originally Appeared on GQ
