What to Do When Your Favorite Restaurant Goes Downhill

"It’s like when you realize that one of your friends is slowly sliding away from you and you don’t talk as often as you used to."

It’s hard to say what makes a restaurant your favorite. It has to have the perfect combination of great food, terrific ambiance, and sublime service that catapults it ahead of all others and puts you on the road to becoming a regular. Going there is always comfortable because even though menu items or servers might change, you don’t expect to be disappointed by anything.

But then one day you are.

I had a favorite restaurant once. It was in a different borough than the one I live in and required two trains and a moderate walk to get to, but I loved it. It was the place I’d take out of town guests to and spend special occasions at because it was that good. The bartenders took their craft seriously, but not so seriously they had to wear skinny suspenders and look like they were mixologists from a different era. The servers were friendly, but not overtly. And the food? Oh, how I wish I could use their gnocchi as my pillow.

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And then on one trip, things were different. It looked the same and the service was still great, but a new chef had come in, determined to leave their mark. The gnocchi now was just an occasional special and the menu was no longer familiar to me. I chose something new, which was good, but it wasn’t what I expected. "Maybe it was an off night," I thought.

Two months later, I made the cross-borough trek again, my hopes as high as a flag on the Fourth of July. My favorite cocktail had vanished from the menu and the gnocchi was still only a memory. Again, everything was fine, but it wasn’t what it used to be. For something to be a favorite, all of the pieces of the puzzle have to come together and this restaurant was missing a piece. I went once more. The bartender greeted me enthusiastically and I almost hugged my server when they announced the gnocchi was a special that evening. That first bite landed on my tongue and it, too, was different. The check was paid and as I left the adorable outdoor patio and walked through the restaurant, past the long narrow bar I had sat at for Christmas Eve a few years before, I knew it was my last time.

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The feeling was one of loss. It’s like when you realize that one of your friends is slowly sliding away from you and you don’t talk as often as you used to. You’re still friends with them, but instead of talking every few days, it turns into every few months and then just the occasional text message. The connection is not as strong. That’s how it is when your favorite restaurant stops being great. Others are vying for that top slot, but it’s not easy to fill. It involves effort and research and multiple visits before you know if it’s even in the running to be your new favorite.

It’s kind of like dating. Some restaurants make a great first impression, but the second visit might not impress at all. You probably don’t want to go to the same restaurant week after week, so you’re in an open relationship, seeing other restaurants. And then, slowly over time you realize there are a couple of contenders and it’s time to make a choice. Standing before you are two beautiful restaurants, but only one can be your favorite. One is reliable, steadfast, and sure with American standard bar food and just a hint of elevation, but is it too expected? The other is spontaneous, fun, and boisterous with cutting edge cuisine that always surprises, but is it too unpredictable? Only one can be your favorite. So you decide and it becomes the place that you take out of towners to and suggest to other people because it is your favorite restaurant. Hopefully, it will always be great, but if it falls from favor, you’ll grieve and then start the process all over again.

You can only have one favorite restaurant, but that doesn’t mean you can’t always remember what used to be. It can be your favorite, but you can still miss the gnocchi.

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