This Woman's Grandparents Didn't Know She Existed. Now They're Giving Her Part Of Her Dad's Trust Fund And People Have THOUGHTS
The subject of child support can be touchy, but everyone seems to have an opinion on it. So, while I was recently scrolling through the Am I the Asshole? subreddit — where people go to share their personal experiences and ask other users who was wrong in the given situation — one story by u/Dull-Handle-7586 caught my attention.
Up until recently, Dull-Handle's father never paid child support, and her paternal grandparents didn't even know she existed. Here's what happened: "My father is a dick. When he got my mother pregnant he wanted her to quit her job and just stay home to 'be a good little wife and mother.' He is very well off due to a trust fund and he doesn't really need to work. My mother refused and divorced him," u/Dull-Handle-7586 said.
"Because of a prenup she got very little and he moved back to Europe. His parents never knew about me, but my mother had a good profession, and I never really wanted anything. [Still], my father never paid the child support he should have."
Now, "I'm getting married," u/Dull-Handle-7586 continued. "I met the love of my life at university and we have been together for eight years. ... His family is from the same city as my father and they are a huge, rambunctious bunch. Because of a lot of intermingled business and personal relationships, my parental grandparents found out about my impending wedding and me I suppose."
"They have been in contact and want to come to Canada to meet me and my fiancée, who I guess is a grandson of an acquaintance of theirs. Small world."
"When they found out that my father had basically abandoned me to fend for myself in this world — this is honestly how they see it — they were pissed, to say the least," she explained. "So, long story short, they had their lawyer calculate the amount of child support my father should have paid with interest and the cost of my post-secondary education. They then gave me this as a gift. What I didn't know was that it came out of my father's yearly draw on his trust fund."
"He is furious because it is obviously a sizable amount and it will very much affect his finances for at least the next two years," she said. "He may need to, GASP, get a job."
"He has been contacting me and telling me that his current wife and children will be negatively affected if I don't give him back this money.
I don't really need it. I guess I am entitled to it, and I am getting a trust fund now as well. But I really want to pay off any debt my mother may have and make sure that when she retires she can do whatever suits her fancy.
I'm not giving it back. Am I the asshole?"
The overall rating on the post dictates that Dull-Handle is not the asshole, and the reasons why varied in the comment section.
First and foremost, many, like user u/kevwelch, pointed out that the money does not directly belong to Dull-Handle's father, and it's her grandparent's decision to decide how it will be spent:
"That trust fund isn’t HIS money, it’s his parents' money. They can give or take that any time they want. And they wanted to take it from him and give it to you," u/kevwelch said. "That’s 100% their right. Your father is actually angry at them, but he’s also a coward. He knows that any anger he directs at them may end up with him being cut off completely."
To get her father off her back, people even suggested that Dull-Handle tell her grandparents about his intimidation.
"It’s time to shut him up," u/kevwelch continue. "Let him know that if he keeps harassing you, you’ll show his texts and emails and calls to his parents. Ask him how he thinks they’d react to his actions."
Meanwhile, others tried reassuring Dull-Handle's decision to keep the money, even if she doesn't necessarily need it:
"Keep the money. Just because you don’t 'need' a thing doesn’t make it wrong to have it," u/kevwelch said. "Pay off your debt, buy a home, make your new life with your husband that much easier. Save and invest it for your children if you want. Your grandparents want you to have their money. Let them be generous to you."
And very little sympathy was held for Dull-Handle's father, overall:
"He wants it to keep his life on ultra-easy mode for the next year or two," u/jwjnthrowawaykfeiofj said. "He doesn't need it. Without it he will have to work, use his savings, borrow money from his parents, or be comparatively frugal during that time. He and his family will not starve or go without in any significant way."
