Fall Fails: Weird Foods That Don’t Need Pumpkin Spice

Stephanie Holland
·4 min read
Photo: iofoto (Shutterstock)
Photo: iofoto (Shutterstock)

Every September, grocery store aisles are inundated with pumpkin spice flavors. Thanks to Starbucks’ relentlessly popular pumpkin spice latte, it’s been added to an endless number of coffee, cookies, cakes, muffins, cereals and candies. However, the pumpkin craze has now jumped from sweet treats to unfathomable foods like mac and cheese, hummus and avocado oil. Seriously, has someone ever said, “You know what this hummus needs? Pumpkin.”

The problem isn’t in the spice itself, it’s in how it’s used. If too much is added, it can become very overwhelming. Unfortunately, now that we’ve officially hit October, the shelves are overflowing with pumpkin spice, and these are some of the weird products we’ll be avoiding this fall.

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Flavored popcorn isn’t exactly new. Caramel, garlic, cheese, are all make for great snacks. Not on the list of amazing popcorn flavors is pumpkin. It’s a pass.

Pumpkin Spice Oreos

Yes, Oreos are cookie and normally that would make them immune from ridicule, but the flavor is overdone and it’s way too much.

Frosted Pumpkin Pie Pop-Tarts

Pop-Tarts are meant to be sweet, but between the frosting and the pumpkin pie filling, these are A LOT. Like most items on this list, they’re also a blatant cash grab, which makes them a little extra unappealing.

Jelly Belly Pumpkin Pie Jelly Beans

Jelly beans on their own are a little disgusting, so adding weird or unexpected flavors to them only makes them worse.

Member’s Mark Pumpkin Spice Empanadas

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Who in the blue hell asked for pumpkin spice empanadas? I know that pumpkin is a squash vegetable, so some like to treat it that way, but seriously, no.

Pumpkin Pasta Sauce

If used in the right proportions, pumpkin spice can be an interesting addition to your pasta sauce. The key is to start with a regular sauce and add in the spice yourself.

Pumpkin Beer

There are no end of big and small breweries offering pumpkin beer this time of year. I guess after a few pints you don’t notice how awful it tastes.

Jet-Puffed Pumpkin Spice Marshmallows

My theory is that once you get to a certain age, marshmallows lose all their appeal. With that in mind, I suppose these might be considered fun for kids, but literally no one else.

Chosen Foods Pumpkin Spice Avocado Oil Caviar

I don’t even know where to begin with this one. Two flavors that have never in the history of the world blended are avocado and pumpkin. Hard pass.

Pumpkin Hummus

If you’ve ever been to Trader Joe’s, you know hummus comes in any flavor you want it to, so pumpkin doesn’t seem that weird. However, that doesn’t make it, or any of the other crazy versions, edible.

Pumpkin Mac & Cheese

Butternut squash is a favorite non-dairy alternative for mac and cheese, so I guess jumping to pumpkin isn’t a huge leap. But if you show up to the cookout or family reunion with pumpkin mac and cheese you will be disowned.

Pumpkin Ramen

One visit to the grocery store will highlight the endless types of ramen its lovers have to choose from. One that we definitely didn’t ask for, or need, is pumpkin. Beef, pork, chicken, vegetable, garlic, spicy chili, these are what we want.

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