Exclusive: Cobie Smulders on Being Resilient in the Wake of the Pandemic and the Evolution of Her Marvel Character
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The actress and mother has partnered with Colgate to support our children's futures.
Even as the world does its best to recover from the early, devastating effects of the COVID-19 pandemic, many of us are still trying to find our new semblance of normal—and to look at the future with hope.
Actress and mother Cobie Smulders has witnessed that dilemma first hand, which is why she's partnered with the Colgate Smile Fund. “As a mother, I've seen the social and emotional effects the pandemic has caused these last few years. Shifting this mindset among young people and working with them to build resilience, self-confidence, and empathy can help them become more resilient and optimistic into adulthood,” Smulders said in a press release on behalf of the campaign. “I know that change begins with the adults and role models in kids’ lives."
This year, the Smile Fund will be awarding a grant to City Year, a nonprofit that works in under-resourced schools and will help develop social-emotional training resources to help children with "critical life skills like self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, relationship-building, and responsible decision-making"—something close to Smulders' heart.
She sat down with Parade.com to chat about her desire to help ensure our children continue to thrive in the face of difficult changes, as well as her work on How I Met Your Father, the MCU and more.
What drew you to partner with Colgate’s Smile Fund and City Year? Why are the causes they support important to you?
Well, first of all, in terms of Colgate, my father is a dentist. And so I grew up—the demands of brushing were upon me in my youth, let's just say that. And so I'm very familiar with the brand. I've used it my entire life, so going into this partnership, I already had a lot of trust.
When I started reading about the Colgate Smile Fund initiative, it was really exciting to me because the focus was on children, especially with this one grant that we're focusing on, which is a grant to City Year. Their function is to provide mentors in schools who are going to be working with kids to help develop their socio-emotional learning: to help give them more confidence, help them become optimistic, and to be a checkpoint for them.
I think that we're all staggering out of this pandemic, and kids, especially, who have been pulled out of school and are now being asked to go back into school and not only get into that desk and start learning again, but also go back into the student body and rediscover friendships and work with those dynamics, which are challenging to begin with, and even more so after taking a break.
So they're providing this wonderful emotional support to kids, and I always find that that is something that's lacking in the school system, so I was really excited that that was their focus.
If that lack of optimism is something that your kids have been struggling with, how did you notice it? Were they open with you about it, or was it a conversation you found you needed to instigate?
I think it's an ongoing conversation. I mean, pandemic aside, everybody has good days and they have bad days. And I think for me as a parent, my focus is on, like, let's talk about it. And luckily—for now, anyway—I am that person that my kids want to talk to and discuss their feelings. They feel safe talking about those things with me. Just having these vulnerable sort of discussions in your home over and over again, I think, provides a sense of stability for your kids to come to you when the going gets rough.
What would you suggest for parents to look out for in their own kids? Maybe if their kids aren't that open with them or if they don't necessarily have such an open relationship, how can they approach that conversation to check in with their kids?
Oh, I mean, listen, sometimes I'll have to ask 20 times in a day, 'How are you?' There's not this fluid dialog all the way, all the time. Sometimes you just have to kind of—it's almost like presenting yourself in a way that's like, 'I'm here, whenever you need.' And it is interesting when those conversations do strike, because I find that the most intimate, crazy conversations happen when you're like, 'I'm not prepared for this!' Literally, we're driving to soccer practice. Where did this come from? So it's just sort of being constantly open and available.
What would your advice be to parents of children—or even directly to the older kids who may read this—who are struggling to recover from all of the changes that they've been going through over the last couple of years?
It's sort of a personal journey, isn't it? I can say from my own experience—one of the things that the pandemic has taught me is to just kind of sit in stuff more, where I think my first response when I'm feeling depressed or I'm feeling low about something, is to like try to shake it off, you know, like get up, get back out there.
But what I've kind of learned, because I've had nothing but time, is to sit in it and allow it to be sad or allow it to be hard. Like, 'OK, it's not forever. I don't know how long it's going to be for but it's not forever. And it will get better.' And when you've cycled through that enough, you can have some faith that it will get better.
I don't know if it's my generation or how I grew up but it's like, shake it off! 'You're fine, come on, let's go for a run!' Yes, we can definitely try that. But we can also just be sad, you know?
You already kind of mentioned this development of those social and emotional training resources for children. But I'm wondering if you can dive a little bit more into what exactly that kind of social-emotional training means and if it has helped you with your kids, how it has helped you with your kids?
I mean, it varies. I think it's about creating a presence, right? It's about creating a presence that is not a teacher, it's not an administrator, it's not a family member. This is a trained professional who you can go to to talk about it. Talk about whatever you want to talk about, to give you tools to—like, maybe this would work better for you.
Maybe it's more exercise. Let's talk about it. Let's find a program for you. It gets you to a place where you can feel confident, where you can feel positive, and everybody's different. It's such an individualized thing. So to be able to have a person who is trained in a classroom to be able to read each kid's individual needs and give them resources to give them an education and to be a living example of something that they can respect and channel, I think it's invaluable.
You guested on an episode of How I Met Your Father earlier this year, what was it like stepping back into that environment?
It was wild! Oh, God, I don't think you ever get the opportunity to go back to a place of your past and have it be exactly the same, you know? You go back to college or an old house or an old apartment, somewhere where you spent a lot of—I mean, I was on the show for nine years and it was so bizarre to walk back into MacLaren's Bar and have it be exactly the same. I mean, I'm talking down to the art on the walls.
And then to also have some of the same crew members working on How I Met Your Father that also worked with us for nine years. So it was wild. It was really, it's kind of wonderful, to be, like, wow. Being on How I Met Your Mother was such a wonderful time in my life, and it was just great to be able to go and visit.
Is there any chance fans will see Robin on set again, someday?
I have no idea. I have not had any conversations about it, but I'm, you know, if it works within their storyline and I can be helpful to their show, absolutely!
Whether it happens or not, are there any unresolved storylines or questions that you’d like to see addressed, or any dream scenarios that never happened that you’d like to see come to fruition?
Well, I would need the other four cast members for any of that to happen. Um, I think it would be cool to just see everybody as they are now, you know, with Marshall and Lily's kids grown up, what has happened to Barney, just a reunion would be nice.
I don't think it's going to happen, but it would be nice to hang out with everybody again and see where the characters have grown.
Marvel must be such an interesting production company to work for given how each project is both interconnected and separate. Do you approach each upcoming Marvel film or series differently than you would approach a one-off project?
Yeah, certainly—because like you said, it is connected. You have to go, you know, 'Okay, what happened?' I remember Sam[uel L. Jackson] and I having a really long conversation when we did Spider-Man because we were like, 'Okay, so we were in the blip and then we came back and now we're here. And how do we...' You know? You just kind of connect, you try to go, like, what has happened in between the last time we were on camera and now?
And then in terms of the character, specific to playing Maria Hill, what is the general wear on her? Because it's just been more and more challenging, her job, as the films have gone on. She's had more and more responsibilities and is kind of like doing a lot of that stuff herself. And also the world has gotten bigger and crazier, so how does that affect each character in the MCU?
You touched on this a bit, but similarly, is there anything different you do each time you prepare to play Maria again given those shifts for her character?
Well, I definitely hit the gym. Definitely get back in my fighting shape. But no, it is a continuation so there's nothing really different. I mean, I have gone from spandex to jeans, which has been a nice transition in my opinion. In the first Avengers film, I think I was in high heeled boots and a one-piece spandex outfit, and now I'm in jeans and combat boots, so there's definitely been a fashion evolution, which I very much enjoy.
What is one Marvel project you weren’t a part of that you wish you could have been written into?
I think it would be the Guardians of the Galaxy branch. It just feels very magical to me, like outer space travel. Any sort of outer space moment, that would be fun.
Is there anything you can tell us about the upcoming mini series you're working on, Secret Invasion? Any, little tidbits or sneak peeks for fans?
I really can't talk about it much, but I can say that it's a departure, tonally, from what has been done in Marvel thus far. It's very dark, and there's a lot of twists and turns because you're constantly wondering if the character is truly the character or if it's a Skrull impersonating them? So it's going to keep you guessing.
And it's a really wonderful moment for Nick Fury's character, just to be able to get to know him and his backstory more.
This interview has been edited for clarity and length.
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