Exclusive: 'Bachelor' Star Clayton Echard on Managing His Mental Health in the Mansion and Who Was Most Excited for Him to Join the Franchise
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His mom was 'absolutely blown away.'
Body dysmorphia is often looked at as a problem primarily affecting women and associated with eating disorders, but that's not always the case. In fact, it affects men and women at equal rates, with one in 50 people experiencing some form of body dysmorphic disorder, or BDD.
And while BDD can lead to eating disorders, the two are not synonymous. Instead, it causes those suffering from it to fixate on something about their body that they perceive to be a flaw, which can be anything from the width of their shoulders to the shape of their teeth.
That's why Clayton Echard, a former NFL player and season 26's Bachelor, teamed up with the Anxiety and Depression Association of America to shed light on the disorder.
The reality star, who was also featured on season 18 of The Bachelorette, has been open about his own experience battling BDD and its impact on his mental health, relationships, and more. He sat down with Parade.com during Mental Illness Awareness Week to open up about growing up with BDD and how he's learned to manage his mental health, as well as his time as a part of the beloved Bachelor Nation.
Body dysmorphia is something that can affect anyone but is very heavily hammered in as a problem for young women. Did you find that this stigma made it more difficult for you to recognize and address your own body dysmorphic disorder, whether with yourself, a doctor or a therapist, etc.?
Yeah, absolutely. Growing up, I was told that men don't express their emotions, not, at least, publicly—they deal with everything behind closed doors. So for me, I was always internalizing my feelings, and whenever I started to realize I was suffering from body dysmorphia—even though I didn't know what the term was at the time—I just started realizing something was off about me in the way I viewed myself.
At first, I thought it was just physical. I really thought that it was my body that was the issue. But then, as I started to go on in life, I realized that it was more mental than what I had given it credit for at first; I had suppressed it over the years because I didn't want to be judged; growing up, the atmosphere around me was always, you know, 'men fight it out.' They don't talk about their feelings with others. They fight it out, and if you struggle with something, well, then you're less of a man. So you better just figure it out because tough men will find ways to solve their own problems. So that was really tough for me.
When I was having this struggle, and I just kept internalizing it. I was ashamed by those thoughts, but I just kept hiding them from everybody else, which ended up obviously, of course, just building up over time.
I definitely think that that is a much larger problem for men, growing up with that mindset. But women also tend to keep their mental health struggles kind of private. So what led you to become more open about it and ultimately team up with the Anxiety and Depression Association to encourage this discussion?
I was a pretty private person my entire life. But past college, and during college, I started having these conversations with individuals, because I'm just a curious individual in general, so I liked having these open conversations that weren't often had. And, you know, body dysmorphia started being one of these conversations that I started having and talking to other individuals about, both men and women.
And I started to find that it was much more prevalent than I thought. Men in the gym that were super, super muscular, a lot of them would tell me, 'I struggle with it. That's why I look the way I look, because I'm never satisfied, and I'll go to the extremes to get the body that I want.'
So I'm like, 'How can this person who is seemingly so much more fit than me have this problem?' And then I realized that, okay, this is much more common than I thought. And so I just, through the show, I opened up about it on TV, and I received more than a few messages of individuals—men and women—saying, 'Thank you so much. I feel less alone now. I didn't think that this was more common than what it apparently is. And you speaking about this just makes me feel much more comfortable with the fact that I'm not alone.'
And so from there, it became—you know, I want to be able to utilize my platform for good—how can I partner up with professionals, with the experts in the industry? With the ADA, it's been incredible, because they have a website with educational resources, they have support groups so individuals can join them and know that they're not alone, and have these conversations and be able to realize that they have a lot more in common with people than they probably first thought, especially when it comes to body dysmorphia itself.
And then also knowing that there's a therapist tool they have or you can find a therapist in your local area. I think the greatest thing that I've found is now I have the ability to be able to push out information that can change, or even save, lives. And that's why I'm in this position I am now, because if I have a spotlight on me, I'd rather use it for good than just use it for my own selfish reasons.
Speaking of the show, did you find that being on reality TV made it more difficult to manage your mental health in that aspect? Being in the mansion, cut off from your phone, your family, etc., was that lack of support system difficult for you?
I didn't know what to expect with going into that environment. I really didn't ever watch reality TV, so it was a definite shock to me across the board. And yeah, you know, I didn't have my family and friends around. I didn't have my support system in that environment to lean on.
So everything that I was doing, it was just under my own doing, and me doing what I thought was best. That was tough because it would present a whole new slew of options. I've never dated that many people at one time, obviously don't ever plan on doing that again. But yeah, it was a lot.
And so I think it made some of the mental health struggles that I had, it kind of magnified them because normally I would be able to just pick up the phone and call a friend or a family member, and they could quell that fear. But in this instance, I was alone, so I had to really just rely upon, 'Okay, what can I do?' And I found through journaling—I had a journal, that was an outlet for me.
I would just kind of sit up at night and, I guess you could say, meditate. I would stare at the ceiling and give myself 20 minutes a night to just self-reflect. So I went down different avenues to try to manage my mental health, but feeling isolated at points definitely made it a lot tougher.
What advice do you have for really anyone but men especially who kind of look down on therapy and are reluctant to give it a go?
My advice would be just give it a try, give it a chance. I think by going there with an open mind—because if you go in there and you think, 'Okay, I'll do this, but I'll just give it one try,' you got to give it a fair shot. But here's the thing. If you open your mind up to it, you're going to be surprised.
I think more than anything, for me, I thought when I was younger, it meant if you go to therapy, you have a problem, and that's embarrassing. And so if anyone found out you went to a therapist, well, everyone's going to now want to disassociate with you because they don't want to be near someone who happens to have a therapist.
But what you realize is, it's in the title—it's therapeutic. You go, and you have these conversations, and I would have these realizations by just having someone ask the right questions and sitting there listening to me, allowing me to vent, but then just being a support there for me. It's another part of the support system that you can have.
So I tell men, if you don't feel comfortable opening up to anybody for fear of judgment, go to a professional that, literally, it's their job to listen and not be judgmental. That's their whole job and profession. So if there's anyone that's not going to judge you, it's going to be someone where it's their job to provide those resources.
So I just try to tell them to give it a shot and I think you'll be surprised. It'll be like nothing you thought it would be.
What was the best (and/or worst) reaction that any of your friends or family gave you when you told them that you were going to be a part of the Bachelor franchise?
When I told them I was going to be part of the franchise, my mom was elated. She was just so happy because she watched that show growing up. She's seen since episode one, season one. So she was a big fan and was absolutely blown away and was like, 'Oh, my gosh, my son's going to be the Bachelor! This is my favorite show.'
I wouldn't say there was any negative reactions to it. I think I just had friends that told me to be careful. They just said, 'Hey, understand that reality TV, it's the entertainment industry, so try to protect yourself because you don't know what lies ahead and what type of motives some people might have.' So 'proceed with caution' was the advice I was given.
You said that you don't have the intention to ever date that many people at once again, but if they asked you, would fans ever see you on another Bachelor show?
Yeah, I've learned one thing from this experience: I never use absolutes anymore. Because you never know where you're going to be a week, a year from now, two years.
I don't have any plans to go back on the show. I had the experience. I got out of it what I needed to for my self-improvement purposes; I think I grew a lot as an individual, identified and have dealt with a lot of the weaknesses and insecurities I have. And so now I know where I'm currently at, I'm much more focused on wanting to try to change the lives of people around me through talking about mental health.
So that's my primary focus. And I think if I were to go back on a show, it would just take away from that focus, and I don't want to take away from my passion right now.
I'm curious about how BDD has historically affected your dating life, and if you found that being on The Bachelor made it better or worse, given how the dates were preset and there was less to think about for you?
I will say it was really scary on the show when there was a date where I had to strip down to my underwear, and I remember when that show was about to air, it was really scary. But I had placed a lot of power in the hands of the audience where I thought, 'OK, if I have a bad body, people are going to talk about it all over social media.' So this is going to tell me whether or not, you know, I have a bad body image and I'm thankful nobody said anything at the time. But I realized that you cannot carry that narrative, because if you give people that power, they will abuse it, and you will never be able to better manage your body dysmorphia.
You have to find that self-love internally. So I realize, again, from the experience, that where I was, I was giving too much power to others, and thankfully the show showed me that the best thing I can do is find a great support system, put it around me, and then protect myself by just loving myself for who I am and only allow those that are closest to me to have an impact on me.
This interview has been edited for clarity and length.
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