Every Thanksgiving Food, Ranked from Best to Worst
It’s the best meal of the year, but that doesn’t mean that every dish is an all-star. In fact, we’d be happy to banish a few from our holiday table for good (if only Grandma would let us). Here, the definitive ranking of Thanksgiving dinner, from best to worst.
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1. Stuffing
Come on, was this ever really a question?
2. Wine
Because Great Aunt Mildred.
3. Gravy
The true hero of Thanksgiving—it moistens dry meat, turns mashed potatoes into volcanoes and is the secret ingredient to the best next-day leftover sandwich. If we could swim in it, we would.
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4. Mashed potatoes
“I hate mashed potatoes,” said no one ever.
5. Pie
Pumpkin, sweet potato, pecan or apple—there isn’t a Thanksgiving pie that we don’t want to stuff our face in.
6. Mac and Cheese
Not everyone has this as a Thanksgiving staple, and we feel sorry for those people.
7. Brussels sprouts
If only because they make us feel virtuous. (They’re green! They’re vegetables!) Just don’t forget the pancetta.
8. Sweet potatoes
Huzzah for desserts disguised as vegetables.
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9. Butternut squash soup
Any other day of the year, we would be all over this warming bowl of goodness. But when every dish takes up precious real estate (on the table and in your stomach), this one’s sort of meh.
10. Corn Bread
So here’s the thing—when done right (with fresh corn and honey butter), corn bread is a thing of beauty. But nine times out of ten, it’s just a crumbly, dry mess. Next.
11. Turkey
Yeah, yeah, it’s not Thanksgiving without a turkey. But let’s get real—the bird just gets in the way of the good stuff (i.e., sides).
12. Dinner rolls
There’s nothing wrong with dinner rolls per se, it’s just that filling up on them as soon as you sit down means that you won’t have room for the real stars of the show.
13. Cranberry sauce
Sure, this bright red concoction looks festive, but if it’s sooo delicious, then why isn’t it on your table any other time of the year? Case closed.
14. Green bean casserole
Take away the fried onions and all you’re left with is a soupy, sad mess. Do yourself a favor and whip up one of these tasty green bean recipes instead.
15. Plain vegetables
Honestly, if all you’re going to do is boil 'em, don’t even bother. Come on, you can do better than that.
16. Jell-O salad
It clashes with everything else on the table, it’s lumpy, it’s gelatinous and people only take it to be polite. Why, Thanksgiving gods, why?
