Every Reference Taylor Swift Makes to Joe Alwyn on “The Tortured Poets Department”
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Taylor Swift’s eleventh studio album, The Tortured Poets Department, is finally here. After surprise-announcing the album at the Grammy Awards back in February, the singer-songwriter dropped 16 new tracks at midnight last night, before then dropping another 15 two hours later, as part of a secret double album she deemed The Anthology. And in classic Swift fashion, these 31 songs are bursting with confessional lyrics, headline-grabbing anecdotes, and heartbreaking imagery.
Leading up to the album’s release, Swifties were certain the record would focus mainly on the chart-topper’s six-year relationship with Joe Alwyn, who she split from in early 2023. However, following the couple’s separation, Swift quickly entered into a whirlwind relationship with The 1975 frontman, Matty Healy, before eventually becoming involved in a high-profile relationship with NFL tight end Travis Kelce—and both these men play a considerable part in the Tortured Poets Department tracks as well.
But back to Alwyn, we’ve seen him be the focus of many of Swift’s LPs, from Lover to Reputation, and the Conversations with Friends actor is certainly all over The Tortured Poets Department too. Of course, we can’t know for sure which songs are about him, but there’s lots of damning evidence. Here, we break down all the clues, allusions, and Easter eggs that seem to point to Alwyn. Listen to each track and read the full lyrics below.
[table-of-contents] stripped
1) So Long, London
Acting as a sort of mournful sister song to Swift’s Lover-era ode to Alwyn, “London Boy,” the fifth track on TTPD continues the singer’s streak of emotional track number fives. In this song, Swift seems to be singing to Alwyn (AKA “London”) following their breakup, telling him that he’ll find the right person even if things didn’t work out for them. “Oh, the tragedy / So long, London / You'll find someone.”
In the song, Swift expresses certain insecurities that she felt in her relationship with Alwyn, like when she says, “And my friends said it isn't right to be scared / Every day of a love affair / Every breath feels like rarest air / When you're not sure if he wants to be there.”
Swift also seems to suggest that she was waiting for Alwyn to propose after their many years together. “You swore that you loved me, but where were the clues? / I died on the altar waitin' for the proof.” (Throughout their time together, there were multiple instances where fans thought the couple had secretly gotten engaged.)
So (So) long (Long), London (London)
So (So) long (Long), London (London)
So (So) long (Long), London (London)
I saw, in my mind, fairy lights through the mist
I kept calm and carried the weight of the rift
Pulled him in tighter each time he was driftin' away
My spine split from carrying us up the hill
Wet through my clothes, weary bones got the chill
I stopped tryin' to make him laugh, stopped tryin' to drill the safe
Thinkin', how much sad did you think I had
Did you think I had in me?
Oh, the tragedy
So long, London
You'll find someone
I didn't opt in to be your odd man out
I founded the club she's heard great things about
I left all I knew, you left me at the house by the Heath
I stoppеd CPR, after all, it's no use
The spirit was gonе, we would never come to
And I'm pissed off you let me give you all that youth for free
For so long, London
Stitches undone
Two graves, one gun
I'll find someone
And you say I abandoned the ship
But I was going down with it
My white-knuckle dyin' grip
Holding tight to your quiet resentment
And my friends said it isn't right to be scared
Every day of a love affair
Every breath feels like rarest air
When you're not sure if he wants to be there
So how much sad did you think I had
Did you think I had in me?
How much tragedy?
Just how low did you
Think I'd go 'fore I'd self-implode?
'Fore I'd have to go be free?
You swore that you loved me, but where were the clues?
I died on the altar waitin' for the proof
You sacrificed us to the gods of your bluest days
And I'm just getting color back into my face
I'm just mad as hell 'cause I loved this place for
So (so) long (long), London (London)
Had (had) a (a) good (good) run (run)
A moment (moment) of warm sun (sun)
But I'm (I'm) not (not) the (the) one (one)
So (so) long (long), London (London)
Stitches (stitches) undone (undone)
Two (two) graves (graves), one gun (gun)
You'll (you'll) find (find) someone
2) Fresh Out the Slammer
The seventh track on The Tortured Poets Department is a slinking number where Swift seemingly compares the end of her relationship with Alwyn to serving time in jail. But once she’s “free” from the slammer, Swift is eager to rebound.
In the chorus, Swift relates how she felt trapped in her previous relationship. “Gray and blue and fights and tunnels / Handcuffed to the spell I was under / For just one hour of sunshine / Years of labor, locks and ceilings / In the shade of how he was feeling / But it's gonna be alright, I did my time.”
Now, she’s found a man who is helping her to escape the heartbreak and those feelings of helplessness (seemingly Matty Healy, who she started dating not long after she and Alwyn called it quits). “Now, pretty baby / I'm runnin' back home to you / Frеsh out the slammer / I know who my first call will be to.”
Interestingly, the line about “runnin' back home” may imply that Healy and Swift were romantically linked before the singer ended her relationship with Alwyn, as fans have previously speculated.
Now, pretty baby
I'm runnin' back home to you
Fresh out the slammer
I know who my first call will be to
(Fresh out the slammer, oh)
Another summer, takin' cover, rolling thunder
He don't understand me
Splintered back in winter, silent dinners, bitter
He was with her in dreams
Gray and blue and fights and tunnels
Handcuffed to the spell I was under
For just one hour of sunshine
Years of labor, locks and ceilings
In the shade of how he was feeling
But it's gonna be alright, I did my time
Now, pretty baby
I'm runnin' back home to you
Frеsh out the slammer
I know who my first call will be to
(Frеsh out the slammer, oh)
Camera flashes, welcome bashes, get the matches
Toss the ashes off the ledge
As I said in my letters, now that I know better
I will never lose my baby again
My friends tried, but I wouldn't hear it
Watch me daily disappearing
For just one glimpse of his smile
All those nights, he kept me goin'
Swirled you into all of my poems
Now we're at the starting line, I did my time
Now, pretty baby
I'm runnin'
To the house where you still wait up and that porch light gleams (Gleams)
To the one who says I'm the girl of his American dreams
And no matter what I've done, it wouldn't matter anyway
Ain't no way I'm gonna screw up now that I know what's at stake here
At the park where we used to sit on children's swings
Wearing imaginary rings
But it's gonna be alright, I did my time
3) Florida!!!
In this pulsing collaboration with Florence + the Machine, Swift describes Florida as a haven that she escapes to amid the death of a relationship. Tampa, Florida also happens to be the first city that she performed in for the Eras Tour after the news of her split from Alwyn went public. She sings, “I need to forget, so take me to Florida / I've got some regrets, I'll bury them in Florida.”
Elsewhere in the track, Swift describes her home as being “really only a town you're just a guest in”—perhaps referencing her departure from London after intermittently living across the pond to be with Alwyn.
You can beat the heat if you beat the charges too
They said I was a cheat, I guess it must be true
And my friends all smell like weed or little babies
And this city reeks of driving myself crazy
Little did you know your home's really only
A town you're just a guest in
So you work your life away just to pay
For a time-share down in Destin
Florida
Is one hell of a drug
Florida
Can I use you up?
The hurricane with my name when it came
I got drunk and I dared it to wash me away
Barricaded in the bathroom with a bottle of wine
Well, me and my ghosts, wе had a hell of a time
Yes, I'm hauntеd, but I'm feeling just fine
All my girls got their lace and their crimes
And your cheating husband disappeared
Well, no one asks any questions here
So I did my best to lay to rest
All of the bodies that have ever been on my body
And in my mind, they sink into the swamp
Is that a bad thing to say in a song?
Little did you know your home's really only
The town you'll get arrested
So you pack your life away just to wait out
The shitstorm back in Texas
Florida
Is one hell of a drug
Florida
Can I use you up?
I need to forget, so take me to Florida
I've got some regrets, I'll bury them in Florida
Tell me I'm despicable, say it's unforgivable
At least the dolls are beautiful, fuck me up, Florida
I need to forget, so take me to Florida
I've got some regrets, I'll bury them in Florida
Tell me I'm despicable, say it's unforgivable
What a crash, what a rush, fuck me up, Florida
It's one hell of a drug
It's one hell of a drug
Love loves me like this and I want to resist
So take me to Florida
Little did you know your home's really only
A town you're just a guest in (Florida)
So you work your life away just to pay
For a time-share down in Destin (Take me to Florida)
Little did you know your home's really only
The town you'll get arrested (Florida)
So you pack your life away just to wait out
The shitstorm back in Texas
Florida
Is one hell of a drug
(Take me to) Florida
Can I use you up?
Florida
Is one hell of a drug
Florida
Go on, fuck me up
4) loml
In a classic Swiftian turn of phrase, the wordsmith takes an acronym typically meaning “love of my life” and gives it a tragic twist, to refer to the “loss of her life,” seemingly Alwyn.
Throughout the song, Swift sings of a great love lost: “If you know it in one glimpse, it's legendary / You and I go from one kiss to getting marriеd / Still alive, killing time at the cеmetery / Never quite buried / And you suit and tie in the nick of time / You low-down boy, you stand-off guy / You holy ghost, you told me I'm the love of your life / You said I'm the love of your life / About a million times.”
But despite the love and hopes they had for this relationship, it wasn’t meant to last. “If you know it in one glimpse, it's legendary,” she sings. “What we thought was for all time was momentary.”
In the past, Swift often sang about how she thought her relationship with Alwyn would last forever, from “Lover” to “New Year’s Day.” However, this song digs into those feelings when you realize you were wrong.
Who's gonna stop us from waltzing back into rekindled flames
If we know the steps anyway?
We embroidered the memories of the time I was away
Stitching, "We were just kids, babe"
I said, "I don't mind, it takes time"
I thought I was better safe than starry-eyed
I've felt a glow like this never before and never since
If you know it in one glimpse, it's legendary
You and I go from one kiss to getting marriеd
Still alive, killing time at the cеmetery
Never quite buried
And you suit and tie in the nick of time
You low-down boy, you stand-off guy
You holy ghost, you told me I'm the love of your life
You said I'm the love of your life
About a million times
Who's gonna tell me the truth when you blew in with the winds of fate
And told me I reformed you?
When your impressionist paintings of heaven turned out to be fakes
Well, you took me to hell too
And all at once, the ink bleeds
A calm man sells a fool a get-love-quick scheme
I've felt a hole like this never before and ever since
If you know it in one glimpse, it's legendary
What we thought was for all time was momentary
Still alive, killing time at the cemetery
Never quite buried
You cinephile in black and white
All those plot twists and dynamite
Mr. "Steal your girl, then make her cry"
You said I'm the love of your life
You shit-talked me under the table
Talkin' rings and talkin' cradles
I wish I could unrecall
How we almost had it all
Dancing phantoms on the terrace
Are they second-hand embarrassed
That I can't get out of bed
'Cause something counterfeit's dead?
It was legendary
It was momentary
It was unnecessary
Should I let it stay buried?
Oh, what a valiant roar
What a bland goodbye
The coward claimed he was a lion
I'm combing through the braids of lies
I'll never leave, never mind
Our field of dreams engulfed in fire
Your arsons match your somber eyes
And I'll still see it until I die
You're the loss of my life
5) I Can Do It With a Broken Heart
While fans around the globe were cheering and singing along with Swift at her sold-out Eras Tour shows, the singer gets candid about what it was like to perform through the heartbreak in this deceptively upbeat track.
“I can read your mind / ‘She's having the time of her life / There in her glittering prime / The lights refract sequin stars off her silhouette every night’ / I can show you lies,” she sings at the beginning of the song, setting the scene at one of her tour stops following her split from Alwyn.
The pair reportedly called it quits right as Swift embarked on her tour, which is currently the highest-grossing concert tour of all time and is set to continue with the European leg in May.
However, Swift reveals that when the shows began, she was secretly struggling. “Cause I'm a real tough kid / I can handle my shit / They said, ‘Babe, you gotta fake it 'til you make it’ and I did / Lights, camera, bitch, smile / Even when you wanna die / He said he'd love me all his life.”
I can read your mind
"She's having the time of her life
There in her glittering prime
The lights refract sequin stars off her silhouette every night"
I can show you lies
(One, two, three, four)
'Cause I'm a real tough kid
I can handle my shit
They said, "Babe, you gotta fake it 'til you make it" and I did
Lights, camera, bitch, smile
Even when you wanna die
He said he'd love me all his life
But that life was too short
Breaking down, I hit the floor
All the piеces of me shatterеd as the crowd was chanting, "More"
I was grinnin' like I'm winnin'
I was hittin' my marks
'Cause I can do it with a broken heart
(One, two, three, four)
I'm so depressed, I act like it's my birthday every day
I'm so obsessed with him, but he avoids me like the plague
I cry a lot, but I am so productive, it's an art
You know you're good when you can even do it with a broken heart
I can hold my breath
I've been doin' it since he left
I keep finding his things in drawers
Crucial evidence I didn't imagine the whole thing
I'm sure I can pass this test
(One, two, three, four)
'Cause I'm a real tough kid
I can handle my shit
They said, "Babe, you gotta fake it 'til you make it" and I did
Lights, camera, bitch, smile
In stilettos for miles
He said he'd love me for all time
But that time was quite short
Breaking down, I hit the floor
All the pieces of me shattered as the crowd was chanting, "More"
I was grinnin' like I'm winnin'
I was hittin' my marks
'Cause I can do it with a broken heart
(One, two, three, four)
I'm so depressed, I act like it's my birthday every day
I'm so obsessed with him, but he avoids me (He avoids me) like the plague (He avoids me like the plague)
I cry a lot, but I am so productive, it's an art
You know you're good when you can even do it with a broken heart
You know you're good when you can even do it with a broken heart
You know you're good, haha, good
'Cause I'm miserable (Haha)
And nobody even knows
Ah, try and come for my job
6) How Did It End?
In this soft piano ballad, Swift hauntingly recalls the aftermath of a breakup (“We hereby conduct / This post-mortem”), revealing that she and her ex planned to keep the intimate knowledge of their split between them and their inner circle of close friends. Still, she knows that won't stop the public from speculation about the relationship's downfall, even as she is dealing with the throes of romantic grief. “Come one, come all / It's happenin' again / The empathetic hunger descends / We'll tell no one / Except all of our friends / We must know / How did it end?”
The former couple's decision to keep the details of their breakup private is reminiscent of Alwyn's known desire to stay out of the spotlight throughout the duration of their relationship. In an April 2024 interview with Elle UK, the actor reflected on this reputation: “It's not really [because I] want to be guarded and private, it's more a response to something else. We live in a culture that is so increasingly intrusive… The more you give–and frankly, even if you don't give it–something will be taken.”
Indeed, Swift expresses a contempt for the public's inevitable reaction to their split. In one verse, she speculates what people will say upon hearing the news: “Guess who we ran into at the shops? / Walking in circles like she was lost / Didn't you hear? / They called it all off / One gasp and then / How did it end?”
We hereby conduct
This post-mortem
He was a hot house flower to my outdoorsmen
Our maladies was such
We could not cure them
And so a touch that was my birthright became foreign
Come one, come all
It's happenin' again
The empathetic hunger descends
We'll tell no one
Except all of our friends
We must know
How did it end?
(Uh-oh, uh-oh)
We were blind to unforeseen circumstances
We learn the right steps to differеnt dances (Oh, oh-oh)
And fell victim to interlopеr's glances
Lost the game of chance, what are the chances?
Soon, they'll go home to their husbands
Smug 'cause they know they can trust him
Then feverishly calling their cousins (Oh, oh)
Guess who we ran into at the shops?
Walking in circles like she was lost
Didn't you hear?
They called it all off
One gasp and then
How did it end?
Say it once again with feeling
How the death rattle breathing
Silenced as the soul was leaving
The deflation of our dreaming
Leaving me bereft and reeling
My beloved ghost and me
Sitting in a tree
D-Y-I-N-G
It's happenin' again
How did it end?
I can't pretend like I understand
How did it end?
Come one come all
It's happenin' again
The empathatic hunger descends
We'll tell no one
Except all of our friends
But I still don't know
How did it end?
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