Every Crazy Thing That Happened in the Midseason Premiere of "Riverdale"
Warning: Riverdale Season 3 Episode 9 spoilers ahead.
After a month-long hiatus, Riverdale is back to its old tricks, shocking viewers and leaving us with literally a million questions. In episode nine, "No Exit," new relationships were formed, plans were hatched, and the line between dream and reality became so thin, I'm still not sure what I'm supposed to believe. Need help digesting everything that went down in the midseason premiere? Don't worry, I'm here to walk you through it.
Archie Faces His Past
In the beginning of the episode, we find out that Archie is hiding out in a remote forest in Canada, apparently patrolling the area for some sort of park service. It is here that he gets attacked by a bear, which honestly really shocked me at first. I mean, getting attacked by a bear? Not a serial murderer or a mob boss or a stick monster king? Just a bear? How wholesome!
Anyway, Archie tries to bandage himself up a little in order to wait out help from the other park rangers. His loss of blood, however, leads him to enter this strange hallucinogenic state, which is where he remains for much of the episode.
In this strange state, Archie sees Cassidy Bullock and the rest of his dead friends, and they invite him to play a game of Griffins & Gargoyles. Then, Warden Norton stops by for a round of G&G, and, finally, some creepy versions of Veronica, Betty, and Jughead want in. All three groups of visitors have a task for Archie, a chance to right a wrong, to go back in time and change things so he doesn't end up in his current, unfortunate future.
First, he returns to the site of his father's shooting. While originally, he just watched as the Black Hood shot Fred, this time, he tackles Hal, saving his father. Then, he gets a chance to kill the Man in Black, and he takes it. Finally, he must take care of his greatest enemy...himself (so deep). "He's the one who got me into this trouble," Archie says before bashing his sleeping self with a bat.
Toni and Cheryl get sticky fingers
What does a power couple like Choni do while the town is under quarantine and the sheriff office remains empty? Steal of course! The pair (who voiced their love for each other for the first time in this episode) are spending their spare time stealing from the rich, namely, Hiram Lodge. The two girls snatch Hermione's Glamourgé egg, though they left a very obvious calling card, a kiss on Hiram's portrait. Not great burglary skills, but it's classic Cheryl so how can you blame her?
Betty Becomes Den Mother to a Dozen Orphans
After breaking out of Sisters of Quiet Mercy and bringing the rest of the patients with her at the end of the midseason finale, Betty must take care of the orphaned teens, giving them a home in the Cooper living room, and putting them back to sleep when they have nightmares filled with Gargoyle Kings. Things, of course, get complicated when she finds out that one of the orphans bought Fizzle Rocks, the drug they were forced to take back at SOQM, as well as when one of the boys sees the Gargoyle King in the forest, making Betty's "Griffin Queen kills the Gargoyle King" narrative a little less believable.
Just when the orphans are starting to lose faith in their Queen, Evelyn and Polly swoop in, laying the groundwork for Edgar to come by and take all of the teens to The Farm, paving the way for what is sure to be a killer season 3B storyline.
Veronica Must Protect Le Bonne Nuit
Le Bonne Nuit has really blossomed since the last time we visited. These days, it still remains a Riverdale high schooler hotspot, though now Veronica is illegally selling alcohol (sending Reggie out to do beer runs), and housing a huge amount of teen make out sessions.
Business is booming, which obviously means Hiram wants to take advantage of it. The Man in Black has his gang, the Gargoyles, attack Reggie, and then asks Veronica for 10% for her monthly earnings in exchange for protection. Of course, Veronica isn't about to sell her soul to the Devil her father, so she forges her finances to make it look like Le Bonne Nuit is making less than it is, and only gives her father 5%.
Of course, no one is fooling master mob boss Hiram and he catches on right away, sending out his gargoyles to scare Veronica again. This time, however, Veronica is prepared. Why pay your crooked father for protection when you can pay everyone's favorite local gang and help them in their time of need? That's exactly what Veronica does. She makes a deal with the Serpent King and they agree to protect Veronica and Le Bonne Nuit from harm's way, ruining Hiram's plans to take advantage of his daughter's success, and creating the best tag team we have seen in Riverdale this season in Jughead and Veronica.
Jughead Lays Down Serpent Law
Jughead is taking his Serpent responsibilities very seriously these days, especially when he finds out that one of his own is selling Fizzle Rocks for the Gargoyles. He tells the gang: no selling or doing drugs and no crime, threatening expulsion for anyone who breaks Serpent code.
Of course, things get awkward when he finds out his good friend Fangs was the one who sold the Fizzle Rocks, and he did so in an attempt to make some extra money to support his sick mother. Jughead gives him a pass, but things get extra awk when Choni gets caught red handed, stealing the Glamourgé egg from the Lodges. Threatened with expulsion from the Serpents, Toni and Cheryl throw Fangs under the bus, resulting in all three of them being forced to turn in their leather jackets (OK, so Toni and Cheryl don't give up their jackets because they are such a great accessory, but they are forced to leave).
Later, Jughead makes a deal with Fangs. Go under cover in the Garogoyle Gang in order to help take Hiram's drug operation down. "It'd be an honor," Fangs replies, which is all well and good, but what about Choni?! Are you really telling me they're not getting a second chance too??
The Sisters of Quiet Mercy Aren't So Holy After All
Of course, that's not surprising. The SOQM have been touted as villains on Riverdale since season one when they were housing Polly Cooper during her pregnancy. Now, though, we learn even more about the Sisters' background which helps in explaining all of their actions. A social worker reveals to Betty that the church disbanded the SOQM over 60 years ago because of allegations of cruel and inhumane practices! Looks like the Church had the right idea, but unfortunately the nuns continued to ruin people's lives for decades following their scandal.
The Sisters' three-season long story line comes to an end, however, when an anonymous man (Hiram) posts their bail and they take the opportunity to permanently end their suffering, drinking the blue, cyanide-filled punch and dying at the hands of the Gargoyle King. What a way to go.
Veggie Becomes Official
We had a feeling this would happen, thanks to the episode's intense trailer, but nothing prepared us for the moment when Reggie and Veronica embraced in a super intense, steamy kiss. Seriously, it was everything, and we know there was a lot of chemistry behind that kiss since the actors are dating IRL. So, what does this mean for the rest of season 3? Will Veggie become official? And what will Archie think when he finds out that his frenemy is dating his ex? According to KJ Apa, Archie will be cool with it.
"Deep down they are really good mates," KJ said. "I don’t think Archie holds any resentment toward Reggie. If anything, he’s happy that his mate is looking out for his girlfriend now." Hmmm, we'll see about that.
Archie is Unresponsive
In the most shocking moment from the entire episode, after hallucinating for like 45 straight minutes, Archie is found unresponsive by the park rangers who come to try to save him. The scene is super intense, but there's no way this is the end for Archie, right? RIGHT?! I guess we'll just have to wait until next week to see...
Carolyn Twersky is the Editorial Fellow at Seventeen.com. Follow her on Twitter and Instagram!
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