Every Cookie In The Last Crumb Core Collection, Ranked Worst To Best

In a time when grocery prices are skyrocketing faster and higher than a SpaceX satellite chain, specialty baker The Last Crumb launched an elite selection of cookies priced at the mindboggling rate of $140 per dozen. This company's so-called luxury bakes have become an overpriced viral sensation that continuously sell out within seconds of release. Think of each launch as a VIP event for those with a platinum card and no concern for their interest rate. Yeah ... it's that expensive.

If all of this high-end cookie talk is a bit confusing to you, you're not alone. We had to know what made the Internet so excited to purchase these premium baked goods during such dodgy financial times. The Last Crumb regularly sends boxes of their gold-standard sweets to online influencers, a group that happily publishes their honest opinions on how well the flavors in the company's core collection. We sifted through the TikTok and YouTube clips for pearls of taste test wisdom to help make sense of what each cookie offers and if quality could possibly justify the cost. Settle into your Maybach, buckle up your diamond-encrusted seat belt, and take a wild ride into The Last Crumb's deluxe delights.

Read more: 13 Store-Bought Ice Cream Bars Ranked From Worst To Best

The James Dean

Even if you wear white gloves and keep your security detail close at hand when trying The James Dean cookie, you won't feel very rich with this poorly executed flavor. The profile of Oreo chunks paired with marshmallows and malted milk balls is meant to replicate the taste of an old-fashioned milkshake. But, overly sweet treats like these are better enjoyed by a less discerning crowd, especially when priced at $12 for a single cookie. Even the story on the company website describing this flavor is sad, explaining how James has drowned his sorrows in an Oreo milkshake after being rejected by his best girl. Talk about a downer.

TikTok users don't hold back when critiquing this one. Felieats notes that the combination creates a sweeter cookie than she prefers, though she does call out the brave choice to include large chunks of cookie-within-a-cookie, Inception-style. Mr. ChimeTime is even more direct while offering his review, rating the flavor 1 out of 10 and explaining that the flavors promised don't come through. While the name might suggest this is a brooding bad boy of a treat, the cookie is actually just bad — no mystery about it.

Not Today Mr. Muffin Man

If you're thinking blueberry muffin seem like too informal a choice for a cookie you can only buy on the Internet, you're in good company. Even the taste testers who were sent garment boxes filled with a dozen fanciful flavors had complaints about Not Today Mr. Muffin Man, a name that makes almost no sense. The cookie is a variation on a blueberry muffin, featuring real blueberries and a crown of sugary streusel crumble worn like a broken tiara. It looks harmless enough, but in a world where cookies come with a price tag that could make a Rockefeller look twice, there have to be more elevated flavors to work with.

Though she finds the flavor passable, YouTube reviewer Terry Buys Stuff says, "No offense Last Crumb, but I feel like if I tried really hard, I could probably bake this at home." That's a pretty harsh dis for treats that cost as much as a week's worth of groceries. TacoBellFan22 was more explicit about their distaste, proclaiming, "It's giving dehydrated camel in the Sahara Desert." If elegant refreshment with a wink to humble home baking is the intention, this flavor misses the point entirely.

When Life Gives You Lemons

Imagine paying over $100 for a box of buzzworthy cookies and opening them excitedly, only to find one of the flavors is ... lemon. Yes, lemon, like the fruit you can grab off your neighbor's trees for free. Doesn't sound like such a wise purchase anymore, does it? Nothing about this fruit screams "decadence," and considering that your grandma probably makes her own version of lemon crinkle cookies, this option is enough to make you pump the brakes on your Lambo and head for the day spa instead. Lemon cookies for $12 a pop? How rich.

YouTube reviewer KennyEatz dedicates an entire review to this tart-and-sweet treat. "The lemon flavor is not too sour. It's subtle; it's really good," he says, before stamping this rounded-out lemon bar with an 8.4 out of 10. Tiktoker Fitness by Yoneyama gets even more descriptive, saying, "It very much resembles a lemon bar, so if you're a fan of lemon bars, you'll love this cookie." So maybe when life gives you lemons, you can make an extravagant cookie dusted with powdered sugar and studded with white chocolate chips instead of lemonade. It's bound to generate more cash flow than a lemonade stand.

Donkey Kong

Why not name a costly cookie after one of the biggest video game bosses on the scene? Donkey Kong is described as having all the makings of a homestyle banana pudding dessert, including real bananas, vanilla wafers, caramel sauce, and pudding. It also sounds like the priciest banana cream pie–style cookie you're likely to find. It's not unreasonable to imagine an audience among the one-percenters going ape over banana-flavored goodies, and calling out the Nintendo life is sure to get some attention. But, is this combination an evolutionary step up for the baking world, or is it a pie in the face to people with money to burn and a Cuban cigar to light it with?

Don't cash out your stocks or sell your gold ingots to taste this one just yet. YouTuber SillyCraft is brave enough to tackle this colossal bite: "So in this cookie, I taste banana bread with a little bit of caramel," he says. His second bite reveals a cream center, which is too much for the young reviewer. He gives it a 7 out of 10. TikToker How.Kev.Eats is more generous describing the cookie's appeal, proclaiming, "This is both beautiful and delicious."

The Madonna

If you're thinking this cookie's name is a reference to the flavor being so rich that it inspires a religious experience, think again. It's the iconic celebrity being commemorated with The Madonna, a mash-up of peanut butter and chocolate that home ec students have been making as after-school snacks for years. How this simple formula became a peak cookie experience may be one of those mysteries you can't read about but have to see and taste for yourself to understand.

TikTok reviewer MunchwithDes explains that the taste is like a Butterfinger candy bar, which lends extra intrigue to this cookie's perplexing persona. While reviewer Logan Lynn points out in her video that she doesn't like peanut butter cookies, she does say it's the best peanut butter cookie she's ever had and rates it a 6 out of 10. Adding candy you can find in every grocery store in America to overpriced cookie dough doesn't sound like the heights of indulgence, but it works nonetheless. Maybe familiarity outweighs decadence here. And, maybe a peanut butter chocolate chunk cookie topped with crumbs of salt can transcend its basic roots to become a superstar, viral-sensation baked good.

Everything But The Candles

Why pay $8 for a birthday cake from the corner bakery when you can pay $12 for a single cookie that captures the taste instead? Sprinkle lovers are in for a treat when they see how many tiny colored dots are crammed onto the surface of Everything But the Candles. The premise is that this is a party in a cookie, which lines up visually. Among the other relatively straightforward décor in the box, this one is like a unicorn without a horn. Think of it as confetti you haven't thrown yet, only edible and pressed into the top of a lavish cookie.

Instagram user jonth_aya comments on The Last Crumb's account, "Best cookie ever!" TikToker Kyle Krueger raved in his video review, "It's filled with, like, frosting or something; whatever it is, it tastes so good." This one sounds like a real party of a cookie, putting it higher in the rankings for making special moments for those fortunate enough to try one. But, you'll have to get behind the velvet ropes first.

Macadamnia

With macadamia nuts sold at such high prices, they're a natural fit for a cookie designed for diners who take a G5 to the coffee shop, just because they can. Though white chocolate and macadamia nuts in a cookie are not a novel formula, the blend is bougie enough to make the cut in this supreme selection. It's enough to summon memories of the best tropical vacation you've ever had. If you've never had a tropical vacation, the Macadamnia cookie is enough to show you how sweet it is when you can fly private and stay in the hotel with a view of the ocean instead of the alley. Ah, the good life.

Reviewer Matthew F. commented on the online site Thing Testing after sampling this one, "The Macadamnia cookie had a nice soft, moist texture." Mr. ChimeTime mentions in his TikTok video that though he isn't a fan of macadamia, he does like this one. Maybe you can't skip work and jet off to more temperate climes to enjoy macadamia nuts in their Hawaiian home, but you can spend a small fortune on a cookie that transports you there via your tastebuds without calling in sick or using your PTO.

S'mores Sans Campfire

Why gather around the campfire to make real s'mores when you can send your cookie butler off in the Bentley to fetch a superior sweet that captures the magic instead? S'mores Sans Campfire is chockablock with milk chocolate pieces embedded like jewels in a graham cracker-flavored base. A full-sized toasted marshmallow tops this blend, not those mini 'mallows found in common grocery stores. A drizzle of fudge gives this upscale recipe enough drip to get him into the club without having to be on the guest list. Now that's swag.

JustBecauseItsPretty gives this tasty vittle nine out of 10 on TikTok. "These are absolutely the best delivered cookie I've ever had," she states, tempting watchers to break open their piggy bank and head online to order one. Mr.ChimeTime is even more descriptive, calling out the fluffy, chewy texture but ultimately finding the cookie too chocolatey. For fans of supremely chocolatey cookies who like their s'mores in a posher setting — like a vault filled with emeralds or in the deluxe suite of a Beyoncé concert — your cookie has arrived. Bring your checkbook and two forms of ID, though. This tasty little nibble is going to cost you.

Netflix And Crunch

No matter your status, you never get too well-to-do to enjoy the most sugary cereal in the grocery store. Sure, you may have personal shoppers to fetch the box and kitchen staff to pour it into a bowl for you. But, if you have a Netflix and Crunch cookie on the shopping list and there's enough room on your American Express, you too can enjoy a cookie flavored with Cinnamon Toast Crunch (a product that costs less than half the price of a single cookie even when it's not on sale). Isn't privilege sweet?

Rather than trying Cinnamon Toast Crunch cookie dough, TikTok reviewer Grace Mary Williams sampled a Netflix and Crunch as part of the core collection sent to her by The Last Crumb. "Tastes like the best crumb cake I've ever had in my life," she says confidently. Reviewer Nicole Ludwig easily rates this one a 10 out of 10. "The Cinnamon Toast Crunch flavor is on point and it's super moist," she explains. While it sounds nonsensical to throw cereal in a cookie and charge a small fortune for it, Netflix and Crunch makes The Last Crumb's marketing mischief sound more inspired than devious.

The Floor Is Lava

You'd think an exorbitantly priced, interactive cookie that comes with microwaving instructions would also come with a chef to heat it up for you. Sadly, you may have to use your own home chef or do it yourself to get the full effect of The Floor is Lava. With a heart of gooey ganache that begs to ooze out of the dough, this flavor is a miniature lava cake, which was already quite the luxurious dessert. As a cookie, it becomes an audacious attempt at bringing a magnificent meal-ender into its own realm. If you have to engage a little bit of labor to get to the good stuff, so be it.

According to online buzz, The Floor is Lava is a flavor eruption. LifeofCian sums it up in two words on his TikTok video review: "Chocolate explosion." Even when you ignore the instructions and eat this cookie un-microwaved, TikToker I1z1n9uy3n says the UFO-shaped treat is a winner. "If you love chocolate like I do, you're gonna love this," she says, before showing the unmelted chunk of fudgy goodness embedded in the center. This cookie is a hot one, even when eaten cool.

Better Than S*x

The name is a lofty claim no matter how much you have to shell out to try one of these beauties. Oversized chocolate chunks throughout the dough and flaky salt sprinkled generously on top combine for a classic combination given a posh polish-up, even if the moniker is a bit low brow. Anyone who knows chocolate chip cookies also knows a poser when they see one, especially when it's hanging with a wildly affluent cookie crowd. How does something of such common fare compare to its more creatively crafted and costly compatriots?

Pretty well, as it turns out. Thehungryfoodie gives this chocolate chunker an 8 out of 10. "The chocolate tastes expensive and I love the sea salt on top," she says, answering several questions we had about the cookie's luxury status. How.Kev.Eats concurs in a video of his own, declaring, "This is one of the best chocolate chip cookies I've ever had." He points out the abundance of chocolate and the moist, crispy texture, crucial aspects of a well-made chocolate chip cookie. Could this deliciousness justify the incredible cost of a cookie that comes from pretty much the same ingredients as homemade chocolate chip cookies? That depends on your bank account.

What The F*** Velvet

Break out the black ties, tails, and formal gowns when tasting this luxe version of red velvet cake in cookie form. The fanciest of these fancy creations is a qualified hit with those lucky enough to be sent a box to sample — or rich enough to drop a utility payment's worth of dough for a batch of baked batter. This one is more than just the tender cookie, and it's the opulent color of opera house curtains and Louboutin bottoms that makes this cookie a ruby-hued gem. There's also a substantial swath of cream cheese frosting hidden in the middle like a buried treasure.

What the F*** Velvet is a cookie deserving of a walk on the red carpet, according to influencers in the know. TikToker Nicole Ludwig gives this lush morsel a perfect 10 out of 10, saying, "The cream cheese filling complements the cookie so well." Makeupby_Juani agrees, bestowing her own 10 out of 10 rating and giving the cookies a cheerful thumbs up in her video review. While it may not be financially beneficial to be in the red, the color is as rosy as it gets when it comes to The Last Crumb cookies.

Read the original article on Mashed.