Eva Mendes Says Doing Dishes Is One of Her Favorite Forms of Self-Care

Jenna Ryu
·6 min read
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Rachel Murray/Getty Images

Eva Mendes isn’t afraid to admit that she’s no clean freak, which means sometimes her kitchen is “a mess”—“definitely a reflection of me feeling a bit chaotic or scattered,” she tells SELF with a laugh.

Between taking care of her two young kids and co-owning a sponge company, Skura Style, Mendes knows the struggle of juggling a ton of responsibilities all too well. On extra-busy days (or weeks…), finding the time and energy to tidy up can feel impossible. But she still tries to make an effort—even if her space doesn’t look spotless 24/7. “I’ve always felt like the kitchen, and specifically its state, was symbolic of my inner state,” Mendes said. “So keeping things clean and somewhat organized is how I feel my best.”

So how does she summon the motivation? Which chores does she split with Ryan? And are there any strategies that help her keep it together as a busy mom? We asked her all about her cleaning and self-care routine—and we’re happy to report that her answers were refreshingly relatable.

“I'm Cuban. I'm first generation, and my mom, my sisters, my aunts are all very connected to the house, specifically the kitchen and doing the dishes. And so I grew up seeing doing the dishes, specifically, as a positive thing to enjoy.

“You can make an experience out of it: Turn up some Latin music, and then you clean. I grew up with the scent of Pine Sol and Fabuloso—every Latin American family has it. It’s this cleaning solvent that has a specific smell. But anyway, cleaning was just a huge part of my upbringing.”

“I'm somewhat of an insomniac. So no matter how tired I am, once the kids are put to bed, it's kind of like my time. I’ll do the dishes then, and I’ll listen to a podcast if I'm not listening to music. But music is the best to get me going—specifically Cuban music. It could be literally anything—something that’s nostalgic to something that’s new.

“Right now, if I’m doing the dishes at nighttime, I do a podcast. I like The Mel Robbins Podcast. She’s so inspiring. By the time I’m done with the kitchen, I’m like, ‘I’ve learned something!’ And if I’m doing them during the day, I can listen to anything from Celia Cruz to Doja Cat. Obviously, Doja Cat is only when the kids are in school.

“But I hate taking the trash out. I don’t like it. I do it when I have to, but that’s the one thing I don’t like to do. I know it sounds very gender specific, and I don’t want to fall into that stereotype, but it smells! I’m super sensitive to smell. I haven’t unpacked this with my therapist yet—but I’m sure it’s not that deep.”

“During the pandemic, I was one of those people who took [cleaning] to the extreme. Like, I was washing my fruit and everything. But I still needed to find the perfect sponge.

“I’ve always had issues: They smell, they’re gross, and then you find yesterday’s eggs on them. So I’ve never loved a sponge, but when I found Skura, I was hooked. It’s amazing and has that ‘fade to change’ technology. Basically, when the logo starts to fade, that means it's time to change it. So it kind of does the smart thinking for you.”

“Oh, I don’t avoid burnout. There is no balance. If anyone tells you that there is, please send them to me. Tell them to go into my DMs and tell me how to do it, because I have no idea. Balance is not something that exists for me with kids at this point. They’re still little. They’re seven and nine years old, but I always feel like I’m lacking in one area or the other.

“The best thing I could do is just be really nice to myself and ask for help when I need it (which is often). I have absolutely…I have nothing figured out at this point as far as balance or time management or anything like that. Again, ask for help. That’s the big thing. People want to help you, so I remind myself of that.”

“I always think the person who’s less busy at that time, whether it’s with work or the kids, should take up the household responsibilities. And it's something that may happen naturally or we may have to remind each other.

“Luckily, Ryan loves doing the dishes. I think I’ve made him love it more, but he doesn’t mind it. (I love it.) So that’s great right there. The kids do the dishes as well, so they help out. It’s really about whoever has the time at the moment. We kind of pick it up for each other.”

“Right now, the way I’m doing self-care is to go outside, even if it’s cold and especially if I don’t want to. I get some sun for at least five minutes, and if there’s no sun (because it’s been pretty cloudy where I am), I just get fresh air or some kind of light as I’m drinking my morning coffee. I know it sounds super simple, but anyone who reads this and has kids knows it’s not that easy. It’s just not.

“The other thing is taking a walk, which also sounds so obvious. But I really wasn’t doing this for so long, and I can’t believe I haven’t been doing it this whole time! See, I become very overwhelmed if I think I have to do a 40-minute walk or an hour this and that. So for me, just 10 or 15 minutes is good—as long as I get outside. That’s what my self-care looks like on the daily. Oh, and journaling. I love to journal. I do it all the time.”

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Originally Appeared on SELF