Etiquette Rules Southerners Love To Ignore
We always mind our manners—except when we don’t, and then we’ve got a good reason for it.
Southerners pride ourselves on many things, from our penchant for nurturing backyard gardens to our ability to make just about anyone feel welcome in our homes. Generally speaking, we consider ourselves a polite and mannerly people, armed with all the etiquette know-how one could possibly need. We write fantastic thank-you notes, host beautiful baby showers, and never miss a chance to sign up for a meal train. But in keeping with these good intentions, there are also a handful of etiquette rules we love to ignore. Sometimes, we just can’t help ourselves!
The Rule: Don’t Talk About Religion
New to town? Right after we ask your name and where you’re from, we’ll inquire as to whether you’re looking for a synagogue, mosque, or church home. We’d be glad to help you find one, and you can sit by us. Besides, if our Lord and Savior didn’t want us waxing poetic about the sacred or the divine, He wouldn’t have invented hummingbird cake.
The Rule: Stick To The Dress Code
Trust that we were doing our best to be respectful on this one. We didn’t plan to be overdressed, but given the vague directive, we decided we’d rather show up a little too gussied up as opposed to the alternative. From here on out, please give us a straightforward dress code on the invitation. “Dressy casual” is an oxymoron that we’d rather not try and sort out.
The Rule: Don’t Block Traffic, In The Grocery Store Or Otherwise
Now we know you shouldn’t park your buggy by the produce or come to a stop in the middle of the road, but wouldn’t it be ruder not to engage with our neighbors? If Betty Jo stops us by the asparagus to talk about the school bake sale, it’d be downright insulting to walk away without having signed up to bring a batch. Apologies if our position in the aisle made you change course for your dinner sides—okra was a better choice anyway! And if a couple of friends happen to drive past each other in the neighborhood, well, you can ease around us while we catch up; we’ll be sure to smile and wave.
The Rule: Start With A Handshake
Oh, honey! We don’t shake friends’ hands; we hug them. And around here, nobody stays a stranger for long. If we know your name, we’ll wrap you up and hold you just long enough that you walk away smelling like White Diamonds.
The Rule: Never Offer Unsolicited Advice
No, you didn’t ask for help with your egg salad, but if you’d just snuck a little Durkee Famous Sauce in there, yours would taste exactly like Mama’s! Our offering charitable tips and tricks may not always seem like an act of generosity—particularly when you didn’t ask for them—but 99% of the time, our intentions were pure. We’ve learned the hard way on just about everything, and we’re only hoping to save you some trouble.
The Rule: Don’t Stop By Without Calling First
Front porches were designed with drop-ins in mind. Besides, if we always announced we were coming by, we’d never have the chance to surprise you with a casserole that freezes beautifully or a basket of tomatoes we plucked from the garden.
The Rule: Mind Your Own Business
We’re not trying to be nosy; we’re simply invested in your wellbeing. From your dating life to your job stressors to your spiritual health, we are only asking questions because we care! How else would we know whether you’d most appreciate a pint of ice cream, a gift certificate to the spa, or inclusion in our thoughts and prayers?
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