The Esquire Guide to Brotherhood 2023
Palace intrigue has never been our thing. When, earlier this month, Prince Harry released his memoir, Spare, we shrugged. Good for you, we thought, air your dirty knickers! Now back to literally anything else.
But then we read about all the shade Harry throws at his older brother, William.
We started to realize: Maybe there’s something for everyone in the stories we tell about the British monarchy, and we might have just found our thing. Strip away the royalty, the pomp, the circumstance, and the Megan Markle-ness of it all, and you’re left with a tale of two brothers—and the vast gulf that now, tragically, separates them.
Under normal circumstances, brothers talk about being brothers only in Dostoyevsky novels. In real life, for brothers to discuss the nature of their brotherhood is nearly unthinkable. Having one battle—for favor, for praise, for the lion’s share of the meatloaf—and, if lucky, having rejoiced in surviving, what is left for brothers to say that doesn’t sound like a beer commercial?
Only this: Remember when…? Because, yes, brothers remember. Because they are and have always been part of our essence. Because they are the blood and bone that most resemble us—make us most proud, most angry, most sure of our place in the world. But it’s more than that, too. They are strung to us by invisible wire, almost telepathically.
Inspired by Spare, we tapped younger-brother expert Clay Skipper to take stock of brotherhood in 2023 by reflecting on his own relationship with his older brother.
And we pulled three fantastic stories from Esquire’s archives. In “Confessions of a Big Brother,” from October 1999, Scott Raab seeks to understand his violent tendencies toward his siblings when they were growing up. In “What Is a Big Brother?” from June 1998, John Edgar Wideman asks whether brotherhood brings division into the world—or is it grace? And in “You Can’t Kill the Rooster,” from June 1998, David Sedaris reflects on his younger brother, the odd sheep of the family.
No one essay can capture the totality of what it means to have a brother. But each of these four pieces, in its own way, is the story of brotherhood.
“The Best Lesson My Older Brother Taught Me”
by Clay Skipper
Reflections on the love and rivalry between siblings upon reading Prince Harry’s memoir, Spare.
Click here to read more.
“Confessions of a Big Brother”
by Scott Raab
How much anger can a boy contain? From the October ’99 issue.
Click here to read more.
“What Is a Big Brother?”
by John Edgar Wideman
Bringer of chaos, protector, cute little bugger. A hedge against slipping off the world. From the June ’98 issue.
Click here to read more.
“You Can’t Kill the Rooster”
by David Sedaris
He’ll never hold elected office or own more than one sport coat, but you won’t find anyone more loyal than David Sedaris's younger brother. From the June ’98 issue.
Click here to read more.
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