How to entertain like an Italian this summer
JJ Martin is ‘creative commander’ of her fashion and homeware brand, La DoubleJ. Originally from Los Angeles, the expert party host now lives in Milan, where she has perfected a style of entertaining every bit as lively as her print dresses. What advice can she offer the rather more introverted British host?
What drinks do you like to serve?
I love turning one of the cocktail tables in my living room into a kind of pop-up, do-it-yourself bar, as I don’t actually have a proper ‘bar’ as such. I’ll stock it with Aperol, Veuve Clicquot Champagne, Bellavista Franciacorta Cuvée Brut, Belvedere vodka, Fever Tree tonic, to pretty much cover everyone’s needs. I fill mine with all our coloured Murano coupes, wine glasses and tumblers. It’s important to bring in these colourful elements that really make it a high-vibration station. I also like to use the ‘wrong’ glasses for different drinks: fizz in water glasses, or Aperol spritz in a wine glass not a goblet. It’s a nice unexpected touch.
And what about food?
There are so many rules when it comes to food and eating here in Italy, and very few about anything else. This was one of the things I found so funny about this country when I first moved here more than 20 years ago. A seafood pasta should never be served with Parmesan; the salad is always served after the first and second courses, not before; never put pineapple on a pizza; recipes that have more than five ingredients are to be avoided; cappuccinos are to be drunk exclusively before noon (if you order one later in the day, you’ll get some looks); never break your spaghetti in half before cooking it; the recipe for pasta carbonara does not include cream. I could go on…
For many years I served strictly Italian food, just to please my guests. A little of this was performance anxiety, of course. As I got more mature and confident in my cooking abilities, and after I became a vegetarian, things began to change. I now like to serve things that are unexpected – like giving an Italian an appetiser of dal or an Indian curry – there’s something really playful and memorable about something a little surprising.
These days I’ll pretty much serve plate after plate of vegetarian dishes at my parties depending on what my local fruttivendolo [greengrocer] tells me is in season. Right now that means fava beans, artichokes and fresh peas. Another thing the Italians taught me is that recipes don’t need to be convoluted to be special.
They can make the most spectacular dish out of three ingredients (one of which is always olive oil). So, something simple like fresh fava beans with pecorino and olive oil is so much more fun to serve than olives for an aperitivo. Of course, this is Italy, so I always have veal meatballs from Antico Pastificio Moscova for any meat eaters.
Do you have a party playlist?
I have an aperitivo mix and a boogie mix, both of which are a combination of my go-to 1970s and 1980s good-mood hits like Bill Withers and Whitney Houston, mixed with some 1990s and early 2000s hits from Amy Winehouse. No matter the event, the music at my house is always ‘bouncy’. It’s good to have a hobby musician in the mix, too – if my boyfriend is at the party, he always ends up playing music and singing at some point in the evening. If you have anyone at your dinner party who can sing or play an instrument, it’s a game-changer. I now keep a guitar on hand for any pop-up performances.
How do you put the guest list together?
Start with the people you really like and love. Those who make you feel good about yourself. Don’t invite people into your house who make you feel insecure. You may have the urge to invite someone who is very ‘cool’, but if they don’t make you feel good about yourself, please don’t. It’s such a buzzkill. Also, you’ll have performance anxiety all night. That being said, feel free to invite people you don’t know that well and want to get to know better to mix in with some of your mainstays.
It’s absolutely fine if not everyone at your party knows one another. The common tie is you, so if you’ve inviting people who really like you, they already have something in common. And, if one of your guests asks at the last minute to bring (or simply shows up with) an unexpected guest, swallow your ego and say yes. I’ve yet to have an unexpected plus-one who didn’t end up being a great idea.
How do you help everyone to mix and socialise? (We’re Brits, after all.)
I’m an extrovert but I have found that whenever I’m speaking to a shy guest, all they need is a sense of security to help them open up. Sit close (but not too close), really listen to what they’re saying, look into their eyes and make a meaningful connection. I find games can also be a great ice-breaker. I was recently in Mustique with a group who didn’t know each other very well and we pulled out a game of charades and it was hilarious.
Giving guests tasks such as, ‘Can you help me in the kitchen?’, or, ‘Could you set the table for me?’ is also an easy way to engage people, and add comfort and ease to the whole experience. When all else fails, use pet therapy. Literally, just holding my dog Pepper [pictured above] in your arms for three minutes is better than any medication or outside substance could ever be.
Do you have any conversational gambits that you find always work?
The number one thing that works every time in Italy – and practically everywhere else – is talking about food. What the best meal of your life was, what’s in season, where to get the best panettone, what was your mother’s speciality… It’s all about pleasure. Conversational gambits should always be about things that bring you pleasure – NB, not politics.
Vacations are also always a hot topic, but please take out the elitist stuff – talk about things that are free to everyone. At some point in the evening, I almost always end up talking about psychedelics (I don’t serve them, of course – food and psychedelics don’t really mix). It is a subject that seems everyone is very interested in and curious about. It always gets the conversation going.
How many people are coming along?
To be honest, my favourite dinners are just me and three or four girlfriends sitting round my kitchen table laughing and eating. When it comes to bigger celebrations, the more the merrier! If I want to host a bunch of people, I’ll almost always keep it self-serve and standing with a huge, bountiful buffet in the middle of my dining room so it looks like a Renaissance feast. That way, it still feels festive and special but laid-back.
No doubt there’ll be some decorations?
My general rule for flowers is more is more. Fresh flowers can completely change an environment. Just be sure, if you’re using them on the table, not to have a massive bouquet in the centre so no one can see anyone else – just move them to the mantelpiece or the living room, or keep smaller bud vases like our glass Orto collection Baby Eggs on the table for just a pop of freshness. As for lighting, I don’t love overhead lights – in fact, I don’t have any recessed ceiling lighting in my home. I have this Murano chandelier in my dining room and basically everything else in my house is a table lamp. I like the lighting to be really moody.
One of the pitfalls of summer get-togethers can be pesky insects – what’s your solution?
The first thing you have to do is stock up on those anti-mosquito contraptions, and make sure you close the doors if you’re going in and out of the house with food or drink. But we love al fresco. Everyone is in their most buoyant, fabulous mood outside – just bring out all the insect repellent sprays and citronella candles.
Are dress codes a no-no?
I haven’t received a dinner party dress code ever in Milan. I think people here just inherently understand the pride and the joy of dressing up. That doesn’t mean you won’t see jeans or sweatshirts, but even those have been carefully curated. I also really appreciate that men here in Milan who are over 40 years old understand the value of a good button-down shirt, a beautiful shoe,and a great belt. My advice is dress for dinner. That being said, I do work in the fashion industry, so in that sense, anything goes…
Mamma Milano: Lessons from the Motherland by JJ Martin (Vendome Press, £50) is out now
