Ta-Ta, Taxidermy: Why The Dead Animal Trend Needs to… Well, Die

Guys: that trend of mounting the decapitated heads of dead buffalo or deer on your wall? Or stuffed pheasants under cloche bell jars? It’s got. to. Stop.

Yes, it’s creepy. And no, we don’t think you could have killed and stuffed that thing yourself if you tried. But that’s not why we think this trend is #TheWorst.

At the height of the Victorian era, mounting the spoils of your hunts was the ultimate in cool (keep in mind that this was also the time of corsetry and arsenic-laced cosmetics—so we’re not entirely sure these people were thinking clearly). Queen Victoria lauded the “marvelous” work of German taxidermist Hermann Ploucquet, and Carl Akeley completed his now world-renowned dioramas at the American Museum of Natural History. The trend may have reached its apex in 1880, when British taxidermist Walter Potter unveiled his magnum opus: a full museum of tiny woodland creatures “alive” in anthropomorphic situations—kittens having tea parties, bunnies learning math, etc.

Back then, killing innocent animals for sport was downright encouraged. Today, we vilify people that do that exact same thing—we’re looking at you,Cecil-the-Lion Killer. And yet we have no qualms with displaying taxidermy someone else has killed and mounted. (“It totally makes our apartment look like a Ralph Lauren ad, right? Right?”) Any way you slice it, that’s just wrong.

To me, our collective obsession with taxidermy is a holdover from the days when humans were actually wild. If you haven’t slept outside (or much less, gone on a hike) in the last year, those antlers above your mantel are a cry for help…even if they’re made of resin. Something inside you is crying out for the wilderness, to be a part of man and beast (and no, we’re not talking about the next Netflix streaming sensation). You need fresh air more than Fresh Air. You need a breather. Get out of the city and into the wild. You won’t regret it.