Sometimes divorce really is the best option. This is true for partnerships that need to come to an end and for patterns and behaviors that just aren’t working anymore. Carson Daly and his wife Siri found this out first-hand when they decided to get “sleep divorced” in 2019 — a cutesy term for when couples decide that sharing a bed at night for actual sleep just isn’t the move anymore.
Daily had previously brought up his very much amicable sleep divorce — which he now lovingly calls a “sleep separation” on The Today Show — in an interview with People after the birth of his fourth child with wife Siri.
More from SheKnows
“We’re both pretty good-sized humans, and it just wasn’t really working when she was in her third trimester, and I also have sleep apnea, which is very sexy for the ladies out there, I’m sure. She couldn’t get comfortable, so we were like a commercial you would see, kicking each other and just not sleeping,” Carson said at the time. “…We woke up and we just shook hands like, ‘I love you, but it’s time to sleep divorce. It’ll be the best thing for all of us.'”
And that’s not uncommon for couples! There’s numerous reasons sleeping solo or with some distance (separate beds, separate rooms) might do you both good and it absolutely shouldn’t make you feel like you’re doing something wrong or harming your relationship or your marriage. (Like, go ahead and kill the voice in your head that says “separate beds” is a death knell for a couple. It’s just not.) What’s way more harmful — which I think everyone can agree on — is two people who care about each other being tired, cranky and potentially harming their health in the process to preserve a sleep situation that just isn’t working. Plus, as Daly noted, it can actually be a kind of cool change of pace for some people?
Back in 2019, Daly told his TODAY co-hosts that “We don’t want to sleep apart, but we have now, and I think secretly we’re both like, ‘This is kinda cool’ because you get command of the whole room.”
And a few years out from there, Daly shares that he and Siri are still going strong post-sleep split.
“I was served my sleep-divorce papers a few years ago,” he said on TODAY on Friday. “It’s the best thing that ever happened to us. We both, admittedly, slept better apart.”
And while they’ve been enjoying their separate space for a while, Daly did share that sometimes they do meet up for a co-sleeping night or two, but they know that it’s good to give one another space. That’s also why Daly was really into the topic of a Scandinavian sleep method where co-sleepers each have their own blanket/comforter, as he really got the appeal.
“You have your own comforters or duvets,” Carson said. “Studies have actually found that sleeping with the same blanket can result in more interrupted sleep, as much as 30 percent.”
So if you’ve been struggling sleeping alongside your lover, take this as a sign to embrace a sweet sleep separation of your own.
Before you go, check out our favorite products that might actually help you sleep better:
Launch Gallery: The Best Products That Help Kids Sleep, According to Real Moms
Best of SheKnows