The Bachelorette Season 15, Episode 2, Recap: What’s the Deal With Luke P.?

It's still early days in this season of The Bachelorette, but the front-runners and villains have already emerged. And some of the guys—cough, Luke P., cough—might even be both! Consider this your spoiler warning. Let's get into it.

We open with the contestants getting settled in the mansion. Chris Harrison joins them and immediately delivers some delicious shade, "Clearly you guys made a good first impression—or an impression—on Hannah."

Once the men recover from that burn, they find out who's going on the first group date: Grant, Luke S., Mike, Jed, Jonathan, John Paul Jones, Dylan, and Luke P. They're going to compete in a Mr. Right Pageant, where they'll walk in Speedos and show off a "talent." Oh, and the Miss J and Alaska and Alyssa Edwards are there to judge them. Screw the limo arrivals—this should have been the first night.

Naturally, these queens deliver the best lines of the episode:

"If you need help tucking, we're here to help!"

"What is your biggest assssssset?"

"If you fall on your face, try to fall on your ass because it's funnier."

"OK, daddy!"

The Speedo portion of the competition quickly turns into Magic Mike: Here for the Right Reasons; in other words, it's iconic.

The talent portion is a little less exciting, though I appreciate Mike for simply walking around in heels and calling that a skill. When it's Luke P.'s turn, he walks up to the mic and says he's "starting" to fall in love with Hannah. Sir, what? That is not a talent, that is just a statement that may or may not be true. But Hannah's into it; she even crowns him Mr. Right.

At the cocktail party later that night, Mike gives a shady toast, "Make sure this is love forever, not 15 minutes." Luke P. doesn't take the bait, saying instead, "Well said."

When Luke P. and Hannah are alone together, she admits she's questioning whether or not he really feels that way. "I'm not joking," he tells her. "I've never felt a connection like this in my whole entire life."

"I asked for bold, and you're bold," she replies. To the camera, she says she believes him. I'm not sure I do, but I have no evidence other than my gut keeps saying, "Nah." So for now I'll just keep a careful eye on him and hope for Hannah's sake he's genuine.

I know how the other guys feel: When Luke P. returns to the group, Mike immediately calls him a dog. "In the history of man, I've never heard someone say, 'I think I'm starting to fall in love with you.'" (Side note: Am I starting to fall in love with Mike?) Luke P. says he doesn't care and will go after Hannah "with everything I have."

Regardless, Jed is the one who actually gets the date rose.

The next day Hannah goes on a one-on-one date with Tyler G. They ride ATVs through the mud, and Hannah bravely wears all white for this excursion. During a break Tyler G. admits he was nervous to get the first solo date. Hannah tells him to just be himself and drop any walls. They basically repeat the same conversation again that night—and so Hannah gives him a rose. Moving on.

The next group date is with Devin, Matteo, Daron, Connor J., Kevin, Dustin, Tyler C., Joey, Peter, and Garrett. That means three guys, including Cam, aren't getting any date this week. Cam responds to this by moping around the mansion playing sad harmonica songs and generally being the worst.

Back to the group date: Hannah brings the guys to a roller derby rink and asks the stunning and talented Derby Dolls to teach these mediocre men how to skate. Then Hannah admits the last time she went skating she broke her arm and hasn't done it since. Um, why are we here? I thought the Bachelorette got a say in the dates? If it were me, I'd request only experiences that involve, like, eating cheese on a luxury yacht. Not activities that have literally broken my body.

That said, it is hilarious watching the guys wipe out. Not a single one can stay up on his feet.

When the game begins, everyone falls so much that it's hard to call anyone a winner. Poor Dustin is the only good skater, but he flies too close to the sun and gets taken out with an injury. At one point the crowd chants, "Kill! Kill! Kill!" which makes me wonder what they were promised they'd see today.

That night the group goes to that random antiques shop the producers always use for group dates. I guess when you've been doing the show for 15 seasons, you start running out of locations, eh? The night is going fairly well for everyone—until Cam shows up to crash the date. Cam tells us, "This is a very Cam thing to do." What, be an asshole?

Even worse, he wastes his five minutes with Hannah by making the horrible joke that he's getting "Hannahlytical." Yeesh.

Obviously the guys are annoyed Cam is there, and they take turns telling him that was a shitty thing to do. But Cam is all, "I'm just being Cam!" It doesn't help that Hannah reveals they've run out of time for the date, meaning some men didn't get any time with her. At least she doesn't give Cam a rose—that goes to Dustin.

The next day is the rose ceremony, and Hannah shows up to the cocktail party in tears. I thought at first it was because she has some sort of announcement, but it turns out she's just overwhelmed by the week. I blame Cam. Or Luke P. Somehow, one of them is at fault.

Case in point: Cam continues to Always Be Cam by interrupting Kevin's time with Hannah just to deliver some chicken nuggets.

Kevin tells Cam to go fuck himself and dramatically throws the nuggets on the ground. Cam is ridiculous, but wasting chicken nuggets? A crime.

Later, Luke P. gives Hannah a massage before saying, "You'll learn I'm really good with my hands." Hannah suggests he take his shirt off so she can return the favor, but they start making out instead. Jed walks in on this, and it's awkward to say the least. He's surprisingly not fazed by it, though. "This is harder for you than it is for me, I promise," he tells Hannah.

At the rose ceremony, she gives roses to Tyler C., Garrett, Devin, Connor S., Luke P., Dylan, Luke S., Mike, Peter, Kevin, Jonathan, Joey, Matteo, John Paul Jones, Grant, and Cam. (Jed, Tyler G., and Dustin already had roses from their dates.) That means this is the end of the road for the other Connor, Daron, and Matthew.

Cam makes a lame toast, and everyone groans. Even Hannah looks annoyed.

Hannah leaves to do her final interviews, but as the other guys go off to bed, Luke P. sneaks away to find her. She brings up the falling in love thing—sorry, starting to fall in love—and he promises everything he says is real. "You can trust me," he whispers into her face.

And with that, I'll see you next week—when Hannah tells Luke to slow his roll.

Originally Appeared on Glamour