The Bachelorette Season 15, Episode 3, Recap: Even Hannah Thinks Luke P. Needs to Chill

Going into tonight's episode of The Bachelorette, I knew the group date would be an entertaining one to watch. Sure, my knowledge was mostly based on Glamour West Coast editor Jessica Radloff's firsthand details—but I like to think that I intuited this disaster before I heard anything. I mean, a group of discarded cans of Axe Body Spray learning about how women breastfeed on the third week of a reality show can only end in laughter or tears, right?

It did not disappoint. In fact, the episode kicked off with this group date—and it set the tone for the rest of the night. But I'm getting ahead of myself. Let's back up. (Spoilers ahead, of course.)

We start the episode with Chris Harrison announcing who gets the first group date of the week: Jonathan, Matteo, John Paul Jones, Kevin, Jed, Tyler C., Mike, and Cam. (Editor's note: Fucking Cam.) The guys are taken to a "classroom" where Jason Biggs and Jenny Mollen will teach them about the female anatomy and what it takes to deliver a baby. The guys have a lot to learn, especially Tyler C. who says, "I don't know too much about pregnancy but that your belly gets bigger and bigger, and the woman gets hungrier and hungrier, so I'm excited to learn what else is going on here." Oh, my God.

I'm not sure what, if anything, Tyler C. will get out of walking around with a fake pregnancy belly and putting clothespins on his nipples to mimic the feeling of breastfeeding. I, however, get a lot of entertainment out of watching him experience the labor simulator, a machine that seems to be less of an educational tool and more of a medieval torture device. "It was excruciatingly painful," Kevin says of it. "Lots of respect to you ladies." Hell yeah.

But the cocktail party that night is somehow even more painful. It starts when Jed encourages Hannah to throw a perfectly good chicken nugget off the roof of the building. The only thing worse than that is Cam, who can't stop being Cam. While Mike was in the middle of telling Hannah that the group date was hard for him because his ex lost their child in her second trimester, Cam interrupts, claiming he has something important to say. Hannah tells him to wait, but Cam comes back two more times to get his time. It turns out Cam's "big news" is simply that he resigned from his job to be on the show. CAM. WHY? And when Jonathan comes in to talk to Hannah, Cam refuses to leave. Jonathan pushes back though, saying, "What goes around comes around," before sort of standing between him and Hannah. Cam uses this to complain that Jonathan was "physical."

When Cam and Jonathan later reunite they have a passive-aggressive staring contest while John Paul Jones eats chicken nuggets. (Have chicken nuggets sponsored The Bachelorette? Why are there so many?) Meanwhile, Tyler C. tells Hannah that the date made him want to call his mom because "women really do run the world." "You're a badass woman, and that's one of my biggest turn-ons about you," he continues, before adding that he'd love to be her arm candy and cheerleader. I gotta be real with you: Listening to this hot man describe all the ways he'd like to support his girlfriend was…a turn on. Tyler C. is going straight to the top of my "yes, please" list.

The rose, however, goes to Mike. Cam decides this means he should fight harder for Hannah, so good luck to us all.

The next morning Connor S. learns that his big one-on-one date with Hannah is canceled because she's not feeling well—instead they're just going to hang out in her hotel suite while she recovers. He sweetly buys flowers, a card, and chicken noodle soup on the way. The date goes well, all things considered, but Hannah doesn't give him a rose when he leaves. That might have thrown someone like Luke P. down a spiral, but Connor S. decides to leave sweet love notes on Post-its around her room to make her feel better when she wakes up from her nap.

It works: Hannah loves the notes so much she sends a limo to pick up Connor S. just so she can give him a rose in person. "Connor made me feel great, even though I didn't feel great," she explains. They end the night with a private concert from Lukas Graham.

In the morning Hannah tells us she's bummed that Tyler G. had to leave. There's no further explanation for it on the show, but a quick Google search will tell you what happened there.

Moving on: The second group date of the week is a photo shoot with animals. It's all just promotion for The Secret Life of Pets 2, but I'm not complaining. What? The pets are cute! See?

Also, this promo gives Demi another opportunity to test out her detective skills. Secret Life of Pets 2 is all about the secret lives of pets—hence the title, duh—so Demi wants to see what the guys secretly do when Hannah's not around. To determine this, she's hired a cute woman to pose as a makeup artist and flirt with the guys. None of them take the bait, to Hannah's joy and Demi's disappointment (and mine, TBH).

After the shoot is done, Luke P. tries to get some alone time with Hannah, but she shoos him off. "I need him to slow his roll," she explains to the camera. "Luke P. stole the show again, but in a negative way." She even tells him such at the cocktail party later that night once they're alone. Luke P. being Luke P., he tries to cut her off mid-sentence, but she says sternly, "No, let me talk." (YES, HANNAH.) "You don't respect that I have other relationships here…and that bothers me," she continues. After they part, Luke P. vents to the guys that Hannah spent their whole time together talking so he didn't get a chance to explain himself. Oh, and he doesn't understand at all why she'd complain that he's being cocky, so zero lessons were learned. "I'm going to act like that conversation never happened," he concludes.

And he sticks to his word, attempting to interrupt her conversations with other guys multiple times. Rather than call Luke out, the bros conclude that it's best to just let him self-implode. Their strategy seems to be working, given that Hannah has to tell Luke to back off so she can talk to every guy before he gets a second turn. "I want to call my own shots," she tells him. He complains to the guys that he's thought about leaving. This will surely come back to bite him.

While Luke P. is busy finding new and inventive ways to be the worst, Peter tells Hannah about how his mom and dad met. Turns out Mom saw Dad's butt and said, "That's the guy I'm going to marry." And now I'd very much like to meet Peter's mother. He gets the rose, but not before Hannah pulls Luke aside and tells him he needs to chill out if he's going to stay. He claims he understands, but TBD.

The next day Chris Harrison tells the guys they're having a tailgate instead of the standard cocktail party. So before Hannah arrives, Cam sits everyone down and announces that he has something serious to tell her and they should respect his time. He warns them that there's a chance she'll send him home because of this reveal. Lord willing. When he finishes his speech, Mike immediately calls B.S.

Cam's big reveal is that he's had…a few surgeries? The details shared on the show are super fuzzy, but his Instagram breaks it down better:

Later, Mike tells Hannah that Cam told everyone he was going to tell her a sad story to get a pity rose. Hmm. I'm not a Cam fan, but that's not what happened. Mike is really stretching the truth here. When Hannah confronts Cam about it, he admits he did think he was probably going home but he didn't share this story as a last-ditch effort. Before the rose ceremony, Hannah pointedly tells everyone that if they stay, it's not because they got a "pity rose."

Here's my take: Cam's medical history should be treated with respect and taken seriously—I don't think it's B.S., as Mike claims—but it also does not excuse his rapping. That is why Cam should leave.

Anyway, Mike, Connor, Peter, Jed, Tyler, Dustin, Dylan, Grant, Luke P., Garrett, John Paul Jones, Matteo, Devin, Luke S., and Kevin all get roses. That means Jonathan, Joey, and yes, Cam are saying goodbye.

See you next week, when Luke P.'s villain edit is in full swing. Can't wait!

Anna Moeslein is a senior editor at Glamour. Follow her on Twitter and Instagram @annamoeslein.

Originally Appeared on Glamour