Here’s What The Bachelorette Finale Would Look Like Without Any Sparkly Pageant Dresses
Confession: I am not a fan of The Bachelorette. I do, however, watch a lot of TV, including a variety of reality shows that have probably caused a quarter of my brain cells to rot over the last decade or so. I tune in weekly to see thirtysomething bartenders black out from taking shots and have three-way sex. I watch cabaret-singing housewives talk about eating bologna sandwiches in prison, New Jersey moms stealing tip money from strippers in Miami, and the Kardashian sisters chastising their mother for requesting that her ashes be made into a diamond once she dies. For whatever reason, The Bachelorette just doesn’t do it for me, but I can understand the fervor that has surrounded this dating competition show since the first episode aired in 2003. It’s one part romance and 10 parts drama, filled with devastating breakups and hot hookups in the “fantasy suites.” It’s reality TV at its finest, with the weeding out of the toads so that the woman with the roses can finally find her prince charming and soul mate; seal the deal with a kiss and a ring; have the reunion episode, the wedding finale, and the multiple spots on GMA; and live happily ever after.
The Bachelorette is a guilty pleasure. Just like all the other entertaining and televised mush I’ve become addicted to, I understand that all of the fun is in the cheesiness of the narratives, the plot twists, the people themselves—and the clothes they wear. Though I can’t quite pinpoint why I’ve never gotten into The Bachelorette, there is one thing about the show’s sartorial angle that, even if I love to see a real housewife of the OC in a bad, beaded going-out top, I can’t get on board with: the pageant dress. The women on The Bachelorette all buy their own wardrobes for the show tapings, but even without a stylist on set, it seems that when choosing something to wear for the rose ceremonies, they all gravitate to sultry, glittery gowns, often with a low V at the neck and a thigh-high slit. If that’s your sort of thing, so be it. There is absolutely no shame in getting dolled up this way, but I can’t help but think how fantastic some of these women would look in a dress or a suit or something that doesn’t beckon a tiara and a sash. What about a nude asymmetrical dress paired with gold hoop earrings and a PVC heel? Or maybe a white long-sleeved knee-height style accessorized with a simple pair of pearl earrings?
As the season 14 finale approaches and Becca Kufrin will make her final decision, I’m considering tuning in, but I’d like to see a more thoughtful approach to the wardrobe situation. After all, Bachelorette ladies, these men are fighting for your affection, not the other way around. You don’t need to outshine the gilded marble hallways of the mansion you’ve been stuck in for however many months to get their attention. There’s a lot of good-bad TV to watch and good-bad fashion to go along with it, but when we’re talking about a show where the woman is in control, shouldn’t she have a finale wardrobe that says badass bachelorette and not Miss America? To this reality-TV binge-watcher, that would be worth every sappy rose in the world.
Below, some suggestions for a Bachelorette finale wardrobe makeover (or makeunder, rather).
