The Bachelor Season 23, Episode 4, Recap: Caelynn's Powerful One-on-one

Tonight's episode of The Bachelor was emotional, important, and potentially triggering for anyone who's experienced sexual assault. Please keep that in mind as you read our recap. If you'd like to speak to someone about sexual assault, don't hesitate to reach out to RAINN's hotline at 800-656-HOPE (4673).

Hi, everyone! Anna Moeslein, your normally hilarious Bachelor recapper, is currently getting her life at the Sundance Film Festival, so I'm filling in. I can't promise the same wit, but I can promise I'm just as annoyed with Demi as you are.

Now, on to tonight's happenings…

Caelynn and Hannah B. are acutely aware everyone knows they hate each other, but there are bigger things to think about because Chris Harrison swoops in and announces that the women are going to Singapore. Hannah G. doesn't know where Singapore is, and all I want to do is send her a digital copy of Crazy Rich Asians so she can get caught up.

But even the excitement of an international trip won't distract The Bachelor from this Caelynn and Hannah B. situation, I guess. We pan to Colton walking solo in Singapore, drinking a gross-looking green juice and thinking about the women's feud. Shortly after, the contestants arrive and Nicole muses about how she wants to go on a solo date with Colton. Girl, so does everyone else.

Instead, the solo date goes to Tayshia, easily one of the most iconic girls in the group. Hannah B. says, "You're gonna have so much fun" to Tayshia, but she's really thinking, "You're now number two on my list, next to Caelynn." The passive aggression is really jumping out this episode.

Colton's documenting his Singapore trip on a web cam, which I'm sure is supposed to be "authentic" and "cool" but I'd categorize it more as "creepy." "I'm hoping today we don't die," he says about his date with Tayshia. Way to set the bar low, dude. Tayshia's too good for you!

They're going bungee jumping, which is my worst nightmare. Falling from an extreme height just for fun? Hard pass. Keep it. Tayshia and Colton are stoked about it, though, and they do make a cute couple.

All this dramatic music is making me think they're going to back out of the bungee jumping. The fact that the producers have to turn this random activity into a drama plot point is a sign of how boring this season is. Colton jumps first. Then Tayshia. They both make it out OK because of course they do.

Colton takes off his shirt, because this is The Bachelor after all. Tayshia changes into a bathing suit, and they hang out on the beach. They make out in the water. I'm so bored. They went bungee jumping, and I'm still so, so bored.

The Singapore B-roll footage is shaping up to be the best part of this episode. At Tayshia and Colton's dinner, she opens up about how she married her first boyfriend and they divorced last year. Colton talks about his divorced parents. They bond over divorce. Now seems like a good time to plug the divorce week content we published on Glamour a few weeks back. Read it! Tayshia gets a rose, and she and Colton cuddle on a Ferris wheel. All this is making me think is, "Wow, I really want to go to Singapore."

Group date card time: Hannah G., Elyse, Kirpa, Sydney, Heather, Onyeka, Tracy, Nicole, Demi, Courtney, Katie, Cassie, and Hannah B. This means Caelynn gets the second one-on-one, which drives Hannah B. to down a glass of red wine.

Demi jumps in and says she's pissed more time is being devoted to this feud, and Caelynn is basically like, "Thank U, Next." Caelynn seems truly unbothered by the entire situation which makes her a legend in my eyes.

Naturally, Demi is the first to barrel toward Colton on the group date. They all take turns jumping on him before going to the actual date. Demi spends the entire time hogging Colton's attention by literally climbing on his back, which annoys Courtney. A confrontation is looming.

But not before they put some leeches on their skin. It's a therapy technique in Singapore! Demi jumps right in because she's doing the most on this date. Hannah B. makes a joke about Caelynn being a leech (blah) and freaks out because Colton isn't paying enough attention to her (double blah). She thinks he's siding with Caelynn, which, who knows! Her paranoia only increases when they eat lunch. Colton pressures her to eat a fish eye, which she does only because she thinks it'll make him love her. Girl, you're better than this! Eat the fish eye because you want to, not to impress this potato.

I love how the women consistently get pissed at the first person who pulls Colton aside during group cocktails. That's literally the point of this show. Anyway, it's Hannah B. who does it, probably to talk to him about the whole Caelynn situation. She says she wants to make sure Colton trusts her. He does, and says he's cool with Caelynn and and her not seeing eye to eye. They make out for a very long time, so I guess the slate's been cleared.

A fortune teller told Cassie and Colton earlier that they were brother and sister in a past life, but that doesn't stop them from also making out two seconds after they talk during the group cocktail. "That's not a kiss that a sister would give," Colton says. Ew. Stop. Gross. And then they keep making out! What is going on?!

Courtney's feeling insecure about her connection with Colton. She's waiting for all the other girls to talk to him first when she just needs to be assertive. Demi says as much to Courtney, which isn't wrong but it's rude.

Demi casually tells Colton that her mother was released from federal prison this week. Par for the course, this leads to a steamy make-out session, which sends Courtney over the edge even more. She tells Demi she's upset she hasn't received time with Colton. Demi gives her advice…but then she just goes and talks to Colton a second time.

Courtney calls Demi out for this, but she's basically like, "Not my problem. Go talk to Colton." Here's the thing: Demi's not wrong, but she's still acting like the worst. Colton obviously doesn't think this, though, because Demi receives the date rose…prompting Courtney to storm off in tears.

It's time for Caelynn's one-on-one. Hannah B. can't stop shading and making digs about it. She's afraid Colton's going to buy Caelynn shoes and a dress, so, obviously, that's exactly what's going to happen.

Yup! Caelynn and Colton go shopping, and he buys her All. The. Things. Even better: She goes home with dozens of shopping bags before her dinner date, and parades the clothes around in front of the other girls. Cassie cries over this, but Hannah B.'s reaction is obviously the most salty.

During their private dinner date, Caelynn opens ups to Colton about being sexually assaulted in college. She says that during her sophomore year of college, she and her friends were drugged by male acquaintances at a party and one man assaulted her. Caelynn says another pulled her dress up in front of his fraternity brothers, who proceeded to laugh and take photos and Snapchats. Colton commends her for telling her story, and opens up about a previous girlfriend who was a sexual assault survivor. There's nothing more to say about this except it was a powerful, emotional, and necessary conversation. Caelynn receives a rose.

Fights. There are so many fights at the final cocktail party. It starts with Hannah G. pulling Colton aside, which, snooze. They're cute and make out a ton, but who cares about that because Caelynn then asks Hannah B. if they can talk. Caelynn is ready to squash things, but Hannah B is hesitant. Eventually, though, they both reach a resolution, hug, and say, "Let's get back in there and shake these girls up." (New favorite quote.) All that pageant drama is resolved in one fell swoop! They're both beauty, and they're both grace.

But wait—there's more! Courtney keeps throwing shade at Demi and saying she hopes people who "don't deserve" to be in the house leave soon. Demi retaliates by going to Colton and saying Courtney is the "cancer" of the house. She says Courtney "attacked" her on the group date…which is a lie. Demi then says Courtney isn't "deserving" of Colton's love. Demi is Out. Of. Line.

Because producers exist, Courtney comes in mere seconds after Demi to tell Colton that she's not doing OK. He confronts Courtney about what Demi said, and she retaliates by saying Demi is the cancer of the house and that she's not here for the right reasons. This leads to a fight in which Demi basically screams and talks over Courtney. Courtney, unable to lose her temper, just sits there cool, calm, and collected, and says she should have done more to warn Colton about her. She then suggests Demi take a time-out—a truly genius insult given her [obsession with age].(https://www.glamour.com/story/the-bachelor-cougar). They reach no resolution and instead go straight into the rose ceremony.

Courtney and Tracy don't receive a rose. Demi scrunches her face in glee and toasts to there being no more "bitches" or "leeches" in the house. I wonder if she's aware of how problematic she is…

Next week: "Huge" mistakes from Queen Elyse, and Colton taking angry walks on the beach. Bachelor in Paradise is shaking.