The Bachelor Season 23, Episode 7, Recap: Who’s Telling the Truth?

After a week full of eliminations and not one, not two, but three warnings, tonight's episode of The Bachelor was a little lower energy. Still, a lot went down, so let's get right into it, shall we? Spoilers ahead.

The episode opens with Colton filming a late-night video about his feelings. (So emo.) Long story short, he's confused and upset because three different women warned him that some of the other dozens of women he's dating aren't ready for marriage. To be honest, this doesn't feel like that groundbreaking of a reveal to me—statistically speaking, at least one woman there doesn't want to marry a guy she's known two weeks, right? But Colton says this is his "biggest fear."

He has good news, though: "We're heading to Denver!" Woo.

Once stateside, Colton meets up with former Bachelor Ben Higgins for a drink and "advice." Colton needs it: The hometown dates are next week, so the stakes! Are! High! Oh, and he's falling in love with multiple people and feels weird about it. Ben's advice? "Lean in!" (My advice would be, "Yes, that is weird, which is why you should just pick one," but nobody's asking me.)

When Colton joins the women later that day, he brings his dog, Sniper, along. Their first reaction upon seeing Sniper is "OMG DOG!" I don't think they even notice that Colton's there too, which…yeah, that feels right. Unfortunately instead of more Sniper content, Colton has to take one of the women on a date.

Tayshia is the chosen one, and their date consists of sitting in the loudest food market of all time. Seriously, I could barely heard their conversation—so what a convenient, not-at-all annoying place and time for Tayshia to drop the "I know who isn't ready for marriage" bomb. At first Tayshia tells Colton she's not going to name any names because she's not a tattletale. Then, not two seconds later, she's all, "It's Cassie and Caelynn!!!"

She claims she heard through the grapevine they were talking about their Bachelorette chances and all the parties they'll get to attend after the show ends. Again, this isn't that big of a reveal—even the winners go to events after the show ends. Who cares? I don't think Colton does, but he is listening when Tayshia says they're not ready to get engaged.

This throws Colton off, but he puts it on the back burner to concentrate on enjoying the rest of the date. He takes Tayshia to his apartment, where they play games and talk about hometowns. She says her family, dad especially, might be tough because they're still processing her divorce. This doesn't faze Colton, and he gives her the rose. They end the night making out in his room, which he describes as the spot "where the magic doesn't happen."

The next day, Colton takes Caelynn snowboarding. It's uneventful—until he tells her about the conversation with Tayshia. It's all a lie, Caelynn insists. Once she's away from Colton, she tells a producer, "Dude, I better get a rose because I will call that bitch out."

When they meet up later for dinner, Colton cries because he's so confused. Caelynn assures him that she's there for him and ready to be engaged. She feels like she can be herself with him, she says, and it's scary that a lie could compromise that. She was planning to tell him, before all of this happened, that she's falling in love. This reassures Colton, and he gives her the rose and says he's falling in love too.

The next morning, Caelynn confronts Tayshia. When asked why she would call her out, Tayshia claims everyone noticed that she and Cassie were the most nervous after Katie warned Colton. So, she says, they're probably the guilty ones. "If I really wanted to talk smack about you," she adds, "I would be talking smack about you every single day, but I haven't." That's her evidence? Tayshia doesn't seem like a liar to me—but those receipts are weeeeaaaak.

More on that later: First we have to get through Hannah B.'s one-on-one date. Colton takes her to meet his family, which you'd think would be a big deal, but as soon as he gets there he tells his dad he's not sure about her. Especially when he compares their relationship to where he's at with the other women. If I were his mom, I'd be so annoyed. She had to spend a full afternoon making small talk with a future Instagram influencer, and he's not that into her? It's like, I put my Outlander marathon on hold for this shit?

And rather than just send Hannah B. home, he takes her out to dinner. Again, this is rude: She put on a full face of makeup, taped her boobs into her dress, and spent 20 minutes monologuing about her love for him—just to be told that, sorry, he's not on the same page. Understandably, she feels some kind of way about this.

Next up, Kipra, Hannah G., Heather, and Cassie are on the group date. They all take an old-timey train into the mountains with Colton. Almost immediately, Heather pulls Colton aside and admits she's not ready for hometowns. Girl, why not tell him before the long, unnecessary train ride?

This leaves two roses and three women, and Kirpa is all, I NEED to tell Colton about Cassie's intentions. This should go well. When Colton tells Cassie her name is in the Not Ready Gate mix, she denies it. "I don't know why someone would make that up," she says. "I wouldn't bring you home if I didn't mean it."

Later, Kirpa talks to Colton about Cassie. Her evidence is the same as Tayshia's: After Katie warned Colton in Vietnam, Cassie and Caelynn were the most "nervous" and "defensive" and everyone thought that was "weird." THAT'S IT?

Naturally, Cassie is annoyed when she finds out Kirpa said all of this to Colton. They start bickering, while Hannah G. sits there like:

At one point, Cassie starts crying, which Kirpa cites as proof that she's hiding something. Excuse me, ma'am, but what? Eventually, Colton shows up and says he's not ready to pick yet, so they all have to sit through an awkward dinner to give him more time.

Once they all meet up, though, he pulls Hannah G. aside right away and gives her the rose. Lesson learned: Do not involve yourself in the drama. Hannah returns to the hotel after that, leaving Kirpa and Cassie to sit there in silence staring at each other. Hannah tells Caelynn and Tayshia about the drama going down. Caelynn's concerned that Cassie has nobody to stick up for her, and walks over to where the date is still taking place. She marches right past Kirpa and Cassie without stopping to talks, finds Colton, and tells him she wants him to have "all the facts" before he makes this big decision.

But we never get to see what, exactly, she told Colton. She just comes back down the stairs, and walks past them without talking. WTF. Then Colton comes downstairs and gives Cassie the rose.

I'm sure Caelynn was defending Cassie, but I still would have liked to see that conversation. It's a new mystery—almost as intriguing as what makes Colton jump over the fence. Speaking of which, when the hell does Colton jump over the fence!? Here's hoping we find out next week.