Elton John's Latest Outfit Is Proof That There Is a Secret, Stylish Cabal of Knighted British Celebrities
We begin, as all normal style-related stories begin, with a conspiracy theory. I have come to believe, over the course of the last week, that there is an underground society of knighted British celebrities devoted to the noble pursuit of getting a fit off. I know this because of the un-ignorable plethora of Sirs wearing very good clothes in public, a clear indication that this cabal is both 1) real, and 2) currently active.
It all started with Sir Rod Stewart (also known as Sir Rod Fuckin' Stewart) last week, wearing a Toasted Coconut Fit for the ages. Then, Sir Patrick Stewart stepped out in a Todd Snyder turtleneck, looking supremely stylish. And now, we've got Sir Elton John in an impressively "Elton John" getup consisting of a tux jacket, white tee, sparkly track pants, and sneakers (all, it appears, by Gucci). Three's a trend, folks. Three's a trend.
When Sir Patrick Stewart debuted his expertly deployed turtleneck, I expressed my suspicions about the situation in a story, along with a healthy degree of skepticism:
I don't know if there's some sort of network of official Sirs that is occasionally activated, dictating that all members must step up their style game within a specific period of time—say, within five days of protocol being enacted—in order to both confound and delight people like me, who pay attention to stuff like this professionally. I doubt it. But I want to believe.
And then, I explained why I wanted it to be true. "If [Patrick Stewart is] part of a cabal of interconnected Brits of Note that also includes Rod Stewart, maybe there's still time to see more good stuff. Maybe Sir Elton John will pop up tomorrow rocking something truly fantastic." Lo and behold, Elton appears in a tux jacket and a pair of shimmering trousers with "Gucci Loves Elton" written on the side.
One problem, though: My timing was off. We had to wait a few days for Elton's outfit to appear. No matter, though. That's just a minor detail, and minor details are inconsequential when it comes to an elaborately interconnected conspiracy, populated by the very upper echelon of the United Kingdom's creative class, playing out in real time before our very eyes but truly visible to only a select few.
The cabal is real, and now it knows I'm watching. I hope they throw me a curve ball and send Dame Emma Thompson out next.
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