EDN Mothers of the Year: Ashley Hartke, Kayci Coulibaly, Marty Haarman and Susan Leasher

May 10—We asked our readers why their mothers deserved to be named this year's Mother of the Year. While every mother is special, today we honor four local women as Mother of the Year.

Ashley Hartke

It's been a rough couple of years for Ashley Hartke since her husband was diagnosed with brain cancer. She is his primary caregiver while raising their three daughters — Lola, 12, Nora, 11, and Vera, 7. She also is a hairdresser and tries to squeeze in time for appointments.

Still, she finds time to attend all the girls' sporting events, of which there are a lot.

"That was one of Marty and I's main goals from the beginning whenever he was diagnosed was to try to keep as much normalcy as possible for the kids. It's already enough for them to watch everything that's going on every day, so just trying to let them be in the activities that they were already involved in and be able to do all the things," she said.

Lola participated in every sport this past year. Just recently, she competed in sectional track, which Ashley and Marty were able to attend.

"It was a long day, and he slept for the next two days, but we were able to get him there," she said.

Ashley receives help from family and friends for such outings. Marty could still do most things until three weeks ago when his health started declining, she said, adding they have been fortunate with his quality of life.

"He was given 12-15 months and we made it now almost 24," she said.

Ashley remains committed to attending her daughter's sporting events even as she competed for state this week.

"That's kind of what we're juggling right now," she said.

In her nominating letter, Lola not only praises her mother's commitment, but also her cheerfulness.

"There are obviously moments that I have that are harder than others. But I still have a lot of faith that everything is going to be OK. So, I don't know. I just keep smiling because it doesn't really do any good to do anything else. Smile and then cry a little bit and smile and cry some more," said Ashley.

Lola mentions in her letter her mother's cooking. Ashley said she cooks a lot, especially since Marty is on a strict diet. However, he used to do all the cooking.

"I didn't cook at all," she said.

Now she enjoys it.

"I started doing the whole sourdough trend. I would say that occupies my mind a little bit in some of the downtime, but there's not a lot of downtime," she admits.

As a mother, Ashley loves watching the girls thrive and put effort into something they love.

"Marty and I have always just said no matter what you do just make sure you give 100% effort. So, just watching them do that on their own is pretty rewarding," she said.

According to Ashley, the most challenging is juggling their different personalities and determining their needs.

"Three personalities, all girls, in a little bit of an emotional situation," she said." We're just trying to honestly keep it as happy as possible around here even though there are some ugly moments."

Ashley said she does that by hugging a lot and living each day hour by hour.

"When someone's having a rough moment, we literally just stop and hug and give it to God because that's all we can do in this situation," she said.

Kayci Coulibaly

In his nominating letter, Kaleb Will admires the hard work ethic of his aunt, Kayci Coulibaly, whether it's cooking, cleaning, putting up with kids, or grading papers — sometimes all at once. But she still finds time for him, especially since his mother passed away.

Coulibaly said she and Kaleb enjoy many of the same hobbies. Last summer, they grew a bunch of zucchini and had a baking feud to see who made the best zucchini bread.

"He shared his 'famous' recipe, and we chopped up a ton of zucchini," she said.

They also have sports in common. Kaleb just qualified for state in discus. Coulibaly notes she also competed in discus and won state and gives him pointers. She also gives him tips on another sport he participates in, basketball, which she played in college.

On her father's farm, she works with Kaleb and him on various shop and farm projects.

"I view Kaleb and his other siblings as my own kids, and I feel responsible for their well-being," she said.

Even though she may make a point to spend time with Kaleb, she said that their "hanging out" time mostly comes naturally.

"It's when we are working on the same project, playing cards, or just hanging out we talk about things that are going on," she said.

Coulibaly also teaches Kaleb about being a good brother.

"My older brother, his dad, was always pestering me when I was little," she said. "I see him doing that same thing to his sister, so I try to teach him better ways to deal with his siblings."

As for putting up with kids, as a mother and elementary teacher, Coulibaly admits it requires a lot of attention and effort almost constantly, but she loves her kids and students.

"It can be tiring at times, but at the end of the day, it's always worth the effort," she said.

Marty Haarman

Marty Haarman has always helped care for her granddaughter, Emma Haarman, from the time Emma's mother returned to work after she was born.

She would take Emma and her sister everywhere — the grocery store, the bank.

"If I go in there sometimes by myself, they would say, 'Where's the girls?'" she said.

Following Emma's parents' divorce, Marty remains there for her son and two granddaughters. She recalled one Thanksgiving when Emma had a particularly tough time with it.

"It got to be dark — 8 or 9 o'clock — and I was like, well, let's just go for a ride. So we just got in the car and went for a ride. We opened all the windows, turned the radio up, and we were all laughing and crying. We had a decent time, just trying to get through it," she said.

She tries to make everything they do together an adventure.

That includes painting groovy symbols on a 1970s Volkswagen Beetle in Marty's yard, picking wildflowers and learning their names, and even foraging for asparagus and berries and bringing them home to eat.

"We went out in the woods and would paint on trees things like flowers or a giraffe," said Marty.

Emma notes in her nominating letter that when she's with her grandmother, there's never a dull moment. Anywhere they go, there's always something to do.

"If we're going to Effingham or Mattoon, I'll say, 'You know, Peggy and Francis live over there, let's go see them,' and they're like, 'OK.' So, we'll just drop in and visit people," said Marty.

Emma admires her grandmother's ability to make people laugh. Marty admits she's always laughing without even trying.

"I like to laugh," she said.

Susan Leasher

From the first time Susan Leasher met her stepdaughter, Liz, they hit it off.

"Bill told me if Liz doesn't like you, we won't be able to continue to date. It was like a ton of pressure, but we bonded immediately," she said.

The two have been close ever since. They have a "girls' night" every Thursday, something Susan came up with.

"Her dad runs the Cumberland County trap shoot at the Greenup sportsman's club. I'm like, you know what, then every Thursday night, we're going to go out to whatever restaurant hits our fancy, whether it's Effingham or Mattoon, and we do something fun," said Susan.

Liz's favorite thing to do with Susan is look through jewelry stores. The two also go to Lake Shelbyville beaches during the summer.

When they're together, Liz noted in her nominating letter that Susan makes her laugh so hard her "stomach hurts."

"I talk for animals, talk for people as if they're talking to us. She just giggles," said Susan.

Susan has two sons, 27 and 24, so living with a now 14-year-old girl is a new experience for her.

"They never told me being the mom of a daughter is so much drama. It's definitely different raising a girl than a boy but I wouldn't change it. I definitely love it," she said.

Besides having fun together, in her letter, Liz said Susan is "one of the most caring and trustworthy people l know."

"If I need to talk to someone, I can always go to her to talk about it," she said.

According to Susan, the two act a lot alike and people have even commented that they look alike.

"It's so much fun to have a daughter that's also your friend," said Susan.

Susan shared something else she likes about being Liz's stepmom.

"It's very rewarding watching her grow and come out of her shell and be the person she is," she said.

Cathy Griffith can be reached at 618-510-9180 or cathy.griffith@effinghamdailynews.com.