Doug Emhoff Visits ‘Cosmo’ to Discuss Gender Equality (and His Fave Date Night With the VP)
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It becomes clear quickly after meeting Doug Emhoff that he’s a man who knows how to read the room.
While visiting the Cosmopolitan office for an exclusive interview on Friday, the very first Second Gentleman of the United States asked me if the classic rom-com 13 Going on 30 influenced my magazine career (the answer is not no). And he joked with our senior astrology editor that he and Vice President Kamala Harris are both Libras who can’t make decisions. Before the Fox News types start to foam at the mouth, yes, this was said in jest and likely only applies to decisions pertaining to the pair’s Netflix queue on their rare nights off (more on that later).
Emhoff and Harris are, of course, one of the country’s most high-profile political power couples. While Harris made history by becoming the first Black and South Asian woman to ascend to the vice presidency, Emhoff has burnished a reputation as the über-supportive spouse, stepping back from his own career as an entertainment lawyer and flipping the usual White House gender dynamic on its head. He’s also made gender equity one of the cornerstones of his agenda as Second Gentleman, modeling how men—with or without historic political positions—can help advance women’s progress.
“I do recognize a lot of people are watching me in this role, being the first, so it’s very important to set as good of an example as I can,” Emhoff said. “I want to see more Kamala Harrises out there. I want to see more women in leadership, not only in the government but more women in leadership in business, in the military, you name it.”
Emhoff also makes apparent that the earnest Wife Guy thing for which he’s become famous is absolutely genuine.
“I’m not doing it begrudgingly. I’m not doing it with a chip on my shoulder. I’m doing it gladly and happily, fully supporting her and deriving a lot of satisfaction in this role,” he said. “I have so much pride in watching her handle everything with grace and style.”
White House officials revealed to Cosmopolitan that later this month, he and the Vice President will travel to Ghana, Tanzania, and Zambia together on a joint international trip that’s part of the White House’s push to strengthen ties with African countries. (First Lady Jill Biden recently returned from her own trip there, and President Biden also has a visit in the works later this year.) While the VP works on economic and climate change issues, Emhoff’s cultural- and community-based agenda will focus on women’s empowerment. He’ll meet with women small-business owners and female athletes as well as host a legal aid roundtable to discuss how to strengthen equal access to justice.
“I try to do more of the personal things where I’m able to meet more people and get into the communities and talk to women small-business owners—go to where they are and also take in some culture,” he said. “It’s a great way to complement what the VP is doing on her trip.”
On the global gender equity front, there’s still a depressing amount of progress to be made. The UN recently reported that at the current rate, true gender equality is 300 years away due to maternal mortality rates, forced early marriages, and widespread sexual violence around the globe. Emhoff recognizes, though, that in order to make the case for gender equity abroad, the U.S. must do better at home too.
“We have work to do, we really do, especially in some countries and here in the States. There’s a lot of unfairness, there’s a lot of inequity, whether it’s in wages, whether it’s in health care, whether it’s in reproductive freedom, childcare, family leave,” he said. “We need to lead by example here. If we’re strong on the issues, you can see that the rest of the world is following.”
The gender equality picture stateside can also seem bleak, especially in the wake of the Supreme Court gutting reproductive rights last summer. Women still make only 83 percent of what men do in the U.S.—a stat that has barely budged in the past 20 years. Despite this reality, an alarming number of American men—nearly 50 percent, according to recent polling—believe that “traditional masculinity” is under threat.
That’s based on wildly faulty thinking, Emhoff said.
“There’s a misperception out there that if some women are succeeding, that if many women are succeeding, it’s at the detriment of men,” he said. “When we support women, as men, it’s a good thing. The more women that succeed, there’s benefits to families, benefits to the economy, and benefits to our country. It’s not an either/or.”
When not advancing the Biden agenda, Emhoff says he and Harris have to be intentional about making time for their relationship, which can sometimes mean blocking off time in their intense calendars to spend together.
“We try to make that time for our marriage, where we spend some time with each other as a married couple, not as Vice President and Second Gentleman,” he said. “You have to really work hard on the schedule to find that time. It’s a lot of planning to do what’s normal family stuff and normal friend stuff.”
As for their favorite date night?
“Right now, it’s definitely Netflix and chilling,” Emhoff said. “It’s hard to go out, so we’ll sit there and try to find something to watch and it takes so long to find something to watch, so it’s like, ‘Eh, let’s just go to bed.’”
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