'Don't get derailed' this holiday season: Family coach, mom of 2 offers advice on parenting during the busiest time of year

Handling spoiled kids, setting boundaries, preventing burnout: Family coach offers advice on parenting during the holiday season.

Video Transcript

CATHERINE PEARLMAN: Hi, I'm Dr. Catherine Pearlman. I'm a licensed clinical social worker and the founder of the Family Coach, and I help kids and parents with their big questions.

At the holiday time, there's so much going on for families. There's things at school, there's parties, there's plays so that in and of itself raises the stress level. So today we're going to talk about the importance of going into the holiday season with a game plan.

Question one. How should parents talk to their kids about different holidays? You can start with books. There are wonderful picture books, there even graphic novels, movies and what I recommend is that families watch them together and then talk about them and see how they're different. Another great thing that families can do is to host a intercultural, interreligion potluck at your own house. It could be cultural. It could be religious. And then they talk about it and it's just such a fun way to have a party.

Question two. How to help your kids accept physical boundaries at holiday family gatherings? Parents are vital in helping their kids set boundaries. And it really starts with a parent accepting that their child does not have to hug and kiss Uncle Joe or grandpa and that it's not a sign of disrespect but it's about respecting your own physical boundaries. COVID is the best excuse ever to not hug and kiss. Do you still have to greet people? So parents may teach them how to shake hands, they might do a fist pump, they might have a dialogue, and parents can role play this before the holidays.

Question three. My kid is acting spoiled at the holidays. Help. What can I do? I think a lot of times parents try and make the holiday list, fill out your list for Santa, a big part of the holiday season. But that creates I want, I want, I want scenario for kids. Stop buying your kids gift every time they go to Target or a little something at Starbucks, and then they become more grateful for what they get at the holiday time.

You can do a couple of things if kids are very gimme, gimme, gimme. They can organize a gift drive. They could make meals for shelters. They can help serve. And also parents can sometimes give experiential gifts instead of material gifts. So it's something the family is doing together rather than it's a toy that they're going to play with or not play with and tossed to the side.