We’re all familiar with Sword Guys: that one guy you know who’s just a little too into collecting swords. But what if the ultimate Sword Guy, the King of the Sword Guys, turned out to not even technically be a Sword Guy in the traditional sense? What if he’s just a divorced guy, standing in front of a court, requesting a trial by combat with his ex-wife featuring the finest Japanese swords he can source or forge in the next 12 weeks?
The Des Moines Register reports that Kansas man David Ostrom, 40, brought forth this unusual proposition in a custody battle with his ex-wife, Iowa woman Bridgette Ostrom, 38. Specifically, he wants a judge to grant him permission to meet her and her attorney, or a fighter of their choice, "on the field of battle where (he) will rend their souls from their corporal bodies." Okay!
It should be noted that this request is not serious and specifically meant to frustrate his ex-wife’s lawyer, Matthew Hudson, with Ostrom telling reporters, “I think I've met Mr. Hudson's absurdity with my own absurdity.” That being said, this is an incredible sentence:
He asked the Iowa District Court in Shelby County to give him 12 weeks "lead time" in order to source or forge katana and wakizashi swords.
As is this quote from Hudson:
"It should be noted that just because the U.S. and Iowa constitutions do not specifically prohibit battling another person with a deadly katana sword, it does prohibit a court sitting in equity from ordering same.”
Per the Register, Ostrom “doesn't have any experience with sword fighting.” But we're sure he'll have ample time to devote to, as the Sword Guys would say, studying the blade.
Originally Appeared on GQ