Discovering the truth about Santa not as damaging to kids as you might fear

“Mom, is Santa real?”

You can kind of feel it coming, can’t you? When your kiddo asks point blank if Santa Claus is real—because they will—what will you say? (Kids typically start asking these types of skeptical questions when they’re 7 or 8 years old, according to a new study in Developmental Psychology.) It’s worth considering early. But if you’re worried about how they’ll handle the news (whether you’re truthful or not), a new study might have some insight.

A two-part study published in APA PsycNet sought to find out how kids and parents handled the “discovery.”

In the first part of the study, researchers asked 48 children and their parents about how they engaged in the Santa myth and when their kids found out that it was a farce. In the second part of the study, the researchers asked 383 adults to reflect on their experiences about when they found out that Santa wasn’t real as a child.

About one-third of children and half of the adults who responded had negative emotions about discovering Santa was phony in cases when parents strongly promoted the myth.

Will telling your kiddo affect their trust in you? Good news: The study showed that more than 75% of children didn’t lose trust in their parents when they found out the truth about Santa.

Typically, more than half of children who question how Santa can possibly do it all figure it out on their own through logical reasoning (how can one person travel the entire globe in one night?). In other situations, parents spill the beans. No matter who tells your kiddo, they’ll probably still trust you. Only 21% trusted their parents less. (Interestingly, 2% trusted their parents more.)

The authors also shared that healthy skepticism about Santa may also transfer to the Tooth Fairy. “We could not directly ask children if their experiences with Santa Claus led them to become skeptical about other fantastical characters, and children rarely reported this happening on their own, but roughly three quarters of parents reported their children showed some skepticism toward the Tooth Fairy and/or the Easter Bunny as a result of finding out the truth about Santa,” the authors wrote. So fair warning.

Even though the ages of 7 or 8 are typical for Santa to be found out, kids may find out later the longer their parents play in on it.

Mama, you get to have a say in when your children learn the truth (unless that kid at school spills the beans). But don’t Grinch out on yourself if you’re afraid they’ll never come to you again. For the most part, they’ll still have faith in you even when they find out that the Big Guy in the red suit never slipped down the chimney at all.