Demi Lovato is opening up even more about coming out as nonbinary and moving forward with they/them pronouns.
On May 28, the pop star appeared on Jane Fonda's Fire Drill Fridays livestream to discuss their journey through activism and self-discovery. During their 30-minute conversation, Fonda asked how the patriarchy affected Lovato's gender expression and decision to come out earlier this month.
Lovato started off by describing the ideals they felt were being pushed onto them by societal norms. “If I had listened to the patriarchy, my life would have never changed—my gender, my pronouns would have never changed,” they began. “I would have probably been married to a man with kids, doing the thing that I was raised to believe that I should do, you know, growing up in Dallas, Texas. In the South, being Christian, there were a lot of norms that were already pushed onto me.”
Ultimately, Lovato found that way of living to be unsustainable. “When I realized that, I thought, What are the ways that the patriarchy has been holding me back?” they said. “And for me, it was putting me in a box, telling [me] that ‘you are a female, this is what you’re supposed to like, this is what you’re supposed to do, don’t dream bigger and don’t speak louder.’ That didn’t vibe for me because I’m too outspoken for that.”
“I realized I had to wake up and start living my life for me, no matter what choices men thought that I should make for myself,” Lovato said. “I just started listening to me, which I ended up finding out was equal parts masculine and feminine. When I stripped myself of the norms that society has pushed on me, specifically by the patriarchy, I have become the most complete and authentic version of myself that I've ever been in my life. I've never been happier.”
You can watch the full interview, below:
Originally Appeared on Glamour