These Solo Valentine's Day Ideas Are Waaay Better Than A Romantic Dinner With An S.O.
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Valentine’s Day—it’s the most romantic day of the year, right? Answer: For some, yes, primarily if you’re in a committed couple, falling in love, or excited by a new relationship. That said, if you’re single on Valentine’s Day, it’s totally normal if you’re feeling a bit lonely.
Get one thing straight, though: There is *nothing* inherently wrong with being single on Valentine’s Day. (Or any day of the year, for that matter.) "This one day shouldn't define how you see yourself as a person," says Tess Brigham, a licensed psychotherapist and life coach.
In fact, riding solo in general can be a great opportunity to discover more about yourself and your own needs, says Raina Wadhawan, MA, EdM, a New York-based therapist.
"Being single on Valentine's Day can trigger feelings of being unworthy or unlovable," Wadhawan explains. There is no such thing as being unlovable, though, as everyone has the potential of being loved and cared for by others.
"It is important to be mindful to not fall into the pattern of rumination," Wadhawan says. "Instead of focusing on being single, you can view this day as a moment to treat yourself, spend time with family and friends, and do things you would do on any other day."
So, as V-Day gets closer, it’s time to think about what you can do on February 14 that’ll genuinely bring you happiness—no strings attached. Maybe it’s phoning a close friend, or watching reality television, or writing affirmations, or cooking comfort food.
Need a bit of inspo? The following are 25 expert-approved ideas on how to celebrate Valentine’s Day if you’re single.
1. Drink a glass of fancy wine.
Disclaimer: Obviously, do not use drinking to disassociate or deal with life’s issues. That said, enjoying a fancy—or just plain tasty!—glass of vino is one way to celebrate your life this Valentine’s Day, explains Jenni Skyler, PhD. A bonus tip? Pair the glass with your favorite dinner, whether it’s from your go-to takeout spot or a recipe you’ve loved cooking for years, Wadhawan says.
2. Call a friend.
If this time of year brings up difficulty or sadness for you, surrounding yourself with friends and community is key, Skyler explains. So here’s an idea: Call or Facetime a valued friend and enjoy catching up together, letting yourselves talk about your days, your work life, what you’re enjoying lately, and the like, Skyler says.
During the chat, remember why friends are important relationships in the first place. "Make the conscious choice of 'I’m going to love my friends and appreciate who they are,'" Brigham advises. Because TBH, why not use Valentine’s Day to tell friends you love them, too?
3. Treat yourself to a new sex toy.
PSA: You don’t need a hot date to get lucky on Valentine’s Day. Take self-love to the next level with a new toy, Skyler suggests. "Indulge in self-pleasure because you deserve it," she says. "Pleasure is your birthright." That's why you can do it any day of the year—including V-Day. So, whether you prefer a bullet clit vibrator, a Magic Wand, or a rabbit, break out your favorite sex toy and bring on the good vibes.
4. Write a letter to your ex—and burn it.
Dealing with some leftover rage or heartbreak? Write that sh*t out, leave your feelings on the page, and then (safely) burn it. "Anything that helps you process or have closure about the end of a relationship is good," Skyler says. So, if there’s unfinished business stewing in your mind, getting it onto paper can be incredibly therapeutic. Love isn’t all rainbows and butterflies, and sometimes, you have to let it burn.
5. Take a virtual art class.
"Exploring activities is a way you can really learn about yourself," Wadhawan says. Whether you’re making a project with a purpose or just winging it, know that art can be a very self-soothing activity, she explains. It’s satisfying to watch the project come together in front of your eyes, with your own hands. (And it's a gift just for you, made by you.)
6. Watch reality TV.
If watching classic reality TV shows like The Bachelor, Love Island, and Too Hot To Handle is your thing, why not add that to your list of 'to-do's' on Valentine’s Day? "If it’s something you enjoy, watching reality TV is fine," Skyler explains. That said, be sure you’re not overdoing it and/or using the shows to disassociate from your current reality, Skyler says. Plan on watching for a while? Make sure you’re also taking breaks, getting up to walk around, eat, or get outside. Some vitamin D will surely lift your spirits!
7. Learn your love language.
"Pick up Gary Chapman’s book The 5 Love Languages and learn a bit more about yourself," Skyler says. What are love languages, exactly? Well, in short, they’re basically how you prefer to receive and give affection from others (romantic or not!). Knowing your love language is a great way to understand what will make you happy in a relationship— Valentine’s Day and beyond, Skyler says.
8. Treat yourself.
Even if you’re not into the traditional chocolate and roses hubbub, snagging your favorite candy, new cozy socks, or even a new book is a great way to "treat yourself" this Valentine’s Day. "Just do the nice thing for yourself, whatever that looks like to you," Brigham says—it doesn’t need to be expensive or flashy. And don’t forget: Treating yourself doesn’t need to be limited to Valentine’s Day, but rather can be done any day of the year, Skyler says.
9. Get your tarot cards read.
If the future of your love life is cloudy, tap into a little divination. Chat with a tarot card reader, or get your palm or tea leaves read virtually. "Some people think this activity is really fun, so why not?" Skyler says. If tarot cards are something you enjoy, you should incorporate them into your life more often than just one day per year, too, she adds.
10. Buy yourself flowers.
Hey, you can’t deny those sunflower bouquets from Trader Joe’s would look pretty on your windowsill, right? Not only are flowers a way to liven up your living space, but they also tend to have a boosting impact on your mood, Wadhawan says. "This is just a super nice gesture you can do for yourself," she explains, which is why you can buy yourself flowers not only on V-Day, but anytime you need a pick-me-up.
11. Send valentines to your friends.
Remember in grade school when you exchanged cards and candy with every classmate? Let’s bring that back for adulthood, too. "It’s a great way to make others feel loved and to remind you that this day is not just for romantic relationships, but also for showing your friends you care," Wadhawan says. In short, the holiday is a perfect time to express gratitude and love for your friends. "I know it’s hard and it feels weird, but we don’t do it enough," Brigham adds.
12. Put your phone away.
While you might be tempted to scroll away all evening to see what your friends and followers are up to on Valentine’s Day, it’s better to resist the urge. "Limit your time on social media today," Wadhawan says. "Social media portrays an illusion." While some couples posting on Instagram may seem super happy on this holiday, that might not be the reality of their IRL relationship, she notes. They say, "out of sight, out of mind," so avoid the social media doom scroll, put your phone on airplane mode, and just be with yourself for the evening.
13. Have an at-home movie date with yourself.
Go ahead, splurge on that new movie release you've been eyeing, and have a solo at-home date. "This is a great way to spend some time with yourself," Wadhawan says. If you need ideas, why not pick a comedy film or a standup special? Laughing is a great way to elevate your mood, Wadhawan says, so it won’t hurt to incorporate some LOLs into your movie night.
14. Cook yourself a romantic dinner.
"We think about romantic dinners as if they should have someone else there, but this is a nice reminder that this is about you," Wadhawan says. Sure, it’s cute when someone makes you dinner, but it’s satisfying to chef it up for yourself, too. Whether you’re gunning for a spot on Top Chef or live off of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, tie up that apron and pick a recipe that makes your mouth water.
Or make your favorite comfort food instead. Consider which meals might be particularly comforting to you—maybe it’s an old family recipe or a dish you’ve perfected after years of practice. "If a food has meaning, there will be a bigger existential connection to it, which can be nice on this specific day," Skyler says.
Want to elevate the mood? Light candles, put on your favorite playlist, and let yourself dine in decadence.
15. Write a love letter to yourself.
Another enlightening activity you can partake in this Valentine’s Day is writing a love letter—to yourself, Wadhawan says. Feel free to list out accomplishments you’re proud of, when you’ve made yourself the happiest, and why you enjoy spending time alone. In short, instead of thinking about what’s lacking in your life, you can reflect on yourself, your purpose, and process your emotions, Wadhawan adds.
16. Bake some cookies.
"It’s important to add play into our lives," Wadhawan says, and the experiential act of baking and decorating cookies does just that. "As adults, people think that we have to be grown up and put together, so baking is a way to add some playfulness into our lives," she explains. And a quick PSA: Don’t forget to dig out the heart-shaped cookie cutter for your batch. (It’s on theme!)
17. Sweat it out.
This Valentine’s Day, don your favorite workout set and get your sweat on. "Exercise, inside or outside, is awesome because it releases all kinds of endorphins and makes you feel good about yourself. It’s a form of self-care," Skyler says. Looking for a few activity ideas? If you need to work through a lot of feels, pedal away from them on your bike. If you want to calm your mind, light some candles for an at-home yoga sesh. No matter what exercise you choose, just make sure it’s one that’ll be genuinely fun for you.
18. Take a hike.
"Being outdoors and hiking can be a great way to connect with nature," Skyler says. "There’s a huge spiritual element to being in nature, and being outdoors can be powerful and healing for people." In short, hiking helps you feel at one with the world, so why not incorporate it into your Valentine’s Day activity list? It could be helpful for you—especially if you’re feeling down.
19. Go on a day trip.
What better way to clear your mind and bring on the happy thoughts than going on a new adventure? We often wait to make moves until we have a partner to go places with, but a romantic getaway alone can bring just as much love and adventure, Brigham says. Your life is happening now. So whether it's just a trip to a nearby town you've never been to, or something a plane ride away, get to exploring.
20. Recite positive affirmations.
Self-love can help to shift your perspective away from what you’re lacking, and towards your abundance, Brigham says. Repeat mantras—out loud or written down—like, "Today, I choose me," and "I am loving and loved by many." Choose whatever phrase holds meaning for you, and say it loud and proud. "Make Valentine’s Day the first of many days you’re creating these positive affirmation rituals for yourself," Skyler says.
21. Throw an anti-Valentine’s Day Zoom party.
As it's stated in the movie Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, "Today is a holiday invented by greeting card companies to make people feel like crap." For all the cynics out there, turn on some feisty breakup tunes, don your hottest all-black outfit, and commiserate with your friends. "If you want to remind yourself that Valentine’s Day is a money-making opportunity for the card and diamond industry, have at it," Skyler says.
22. Have the ultimate self-care night.
Why have a self-care night, you ask? "It’s a way to recharge and enjoy some quiet time," Wadhawan says. Pull out all the stops: Light that CBD oil-infused candle, wear your most luxe face mask, and make a mug of Earl Grey tea to set the relaxing mood. No matter what self-care activity you choose, it’s just important to create the space to breathe, relax, and spend time with yourself, Wadhawan says. Noted!
23. Take a bubble bath.
Turn V-Day into spa day with your favorite body soap and some bath bombs. (Bring wine or cue up some reality TV on your laptop, if you're feeling extra festive.) Basically, if baths are a way for you to relax and spend time with yourself this Valentine’s Day, have at it, Wadhawan says. "Treating yourself is helpful, and it’s a good way to recharge," she explains. Now, go run that hot water and prepare to suds up.
24. Meditate.
Are you a seasoned meditator? Great. Dim the lights, light some candles, and cue up your favorite meditation channel on YouTube or Spotify this Valentine’s Day. If you’ve never meditated before, consider V-Day an opportunity to try it for the first time, Skyler says. "Valentine’s Day could be the day you discover meditation for yourself and realize that you want to incorporate it into your daily life," she says. In short, whether you’re new or well-practiced in meditation, add it to your to-do list this holiday for an extra dose of self-love and self-care.
25. Treat it like any other day.
In the end, Valentine’s Day is just another square on the calendar, right? And that means it’s okay to treat it as such, Skyler says. "You have a right to put your head down if you don’t buy into any of it or think the day is silly," Brigham adds. So yup, just keep on keeping on—tomorrow is another day. V-Day will be over before you know it.
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