I Decided to Deliver My Baby Alone and Then Isolate from My Husband and Two Kids for 14 Days
Suzie’s due date was March 25. But on the 13th of March, her kids’ school canceled class due to COVID-19. It also became more apparent that her parents, high-risk, would not be able to travel to her for the birth. When her two children got sick (not with COVID), she and her husband couldn’t take the chance of anyone caring for them getting sick themselves in this heightened environment. Plus, Suzie, a nurse, knew being in a hospital meant she could come in contact with coronavirus. So, even though Massachusetts was still allowing birth partners, Suzie decided she had to deliver her baby in the hospital alone, which is what happened when she was induced on the 26th.
We asked her a few questions about her experience. Spoiler alert: Suzie and baby are doing great, and, after two weeks in quarantine, were able to go home and reunite with her family.
After you made the decision to deliver alone, how did you feel?
“I felt sad, stressed and helpless. I was especially sad telling my parents not to fly to meet their grandchild. But our families understood, agreed with, and supported our decisions, which helped a lot. For the week or two before I gave birth, everything just came at me fast. First it was the schools closing. Then it was my kids getting sick. Then it was being scared I (or anyone I loved) would get sick. Then it was realizing that we wouldn't get any help from family after the birth and that even my OB was experiencing COVID-19 symptoms. Things were chaotic. It felt like we were inside a pressure cooker.”
In addition to going it alone, how else did your new birth plan change?
“I had to prep my kids, well, at least my 4-year-old, that I was going to the hospital to have the baby and then to Grandma and Grandpa's house with the baby after (my 2-year-old didn't understand). As for the actual labor and delivery, I went into the hospital by myself with hand sanitizer, a mask, gloves, wipes, etc. I knew I wanted to wear my mask the entire time, including labor, which I did. My husband and I chose to FaceTime right after the birth. I knew I wanted to leave the hospital as soon as possible, so I discharged myself a day early, as soon as the baby and I were cleared to go home we did.”
You've had two other kids—how did this labor and delivery differ?
“Thankfully, just like my last two babies, it was a standard vaginal birth with an epidural with no complications. I am extremely fortunate. The main difference was that I just wanted to get in and out of the hospital and keep contact with others to minimal. During my first labor, there were a ton of people in the room during the birth (it was a big teaching hospital, so there were residents and students) and many people coming in and out during my hospital stay (visitors, staff, etc.). This time, I only allowed the necessary people in the room. I didn't leave my L&D or my post-partum room at all. Last time, I put my baby in the nursery. This time, she stayed with me the entire time.”
How did your husband not being there impact things?
“Of course, my husband being gone was upsetting. We didn’t know the gender for all three kids, and it was so fun was when my husband got to announce it to the room the last two times. This time, the doctor told me, and I had to tell my husband on the phone…which was weird.”
What was the hospital staff like?
“I mostly was in contact with the nurses, who were incredible. They were empathetic to my situation and really respected my needs. I told them I didn't want anyone in the room unless they needed to be, and I didn't want anyone touching the baby unless they absolutely had to. I can't imagine what they were going through. Many of the staff were parents, too, who also just found out school was cancelled indefinitely and yet here they are working at a hospital in a pandemic. It's scary for everyone, and they were very brave and kind.”
What were the logistics of isolating with your newborn from your husband and kids?
“I stayed at my in-laws, who live locally. We agreed on a plan a few days before the birth, so I was able to pack up my stuff, and they put it in a room for me. They brought up my food and did my laundry wearing gloves. I did eventually have to go to the pediatrician and do labs at the hospital, so if I went in and out of the house to drive or go for a walk, I wore gloves and a mask. They did, too, for everything. In the room, I was in constant contact with friends and family, exchanging pictures and FaceTiming my kids. I had a lot of support. It was nice to have alone time with the baby and recover physically—especially since I went home from the hospital a day early. My husband and kids remained home, doing the recommended social distancing, taking walks, watching tv, playing game, etc.”
What type of temporary nursery did you set up in your in-laws house? Did you have everything you needed?
“I was superstitious with all three kids and tried not to bring anything into the house before they were born. However, when I was finding that basic baby items like diapers and wipes were selling out online and we couldn't easily go to the store, I began to send these things to my in-laws' house to hold for me. When we decided I would quarantine there, I brought over what I already had—a bassinet, nursing pillow, bottles, etc. They set this up in a bedroom for me upstairs with a mini-fridge and a table for meals.”
I'm kinda just grasping that you had no help for two weeks with your infant...was that...INSANE???
“Yes! It was tough to physically recover while also tending to the baby's needs. But I did have a lot of help from friends and family: my husband took care of the kids, my in-laws took care of food and laundry, my friends sent a meal-train from a local restaurant to both houses and helped with groceries, my parents sent care packages, etc. What was more difficult for me was the transition home. Suddenly, I was taking care of three kids all day with nowhere to go and no one to help. Then, staying up late with my husband finishing chores and doing feedings at night. But, talking to friends and family constantly and reading the news put everything in perspective. Although it's really hard, we are lucky that everyone is healthy and we have a lot to exciting things to look forward to.”
After 14 days, you reunited with your family. What was that like?
“My sons were so excited to meet their little sister, and of course, I was so happy to see them and be together as a family. At first, it didn't seem like any time had passed or that they were affected by my absence. But, when I had to run out quickly to get the rest of my stuff at my in-laws house, my 4-year-old cried and cried, thinking I was leaving him again. I sadly couldn't take him to his grandparents house, as we are following all of the social distancing guidelines, and I knew he would be upset if he couldn't see them.”
What is your advice for the countless women who may experience the same thing?
“Well, first I want to note that this is what worked for my family. I was lucky I was low-risk and on my third child, so I knew what to expect. That said, if I were to give any advice, it would be to stay in contact with your provider or the hospital and keep up with policy changes that may be changing daily. Don't ignore what's going on. It was easier for me to digest all the information over time.”
