Dear Richard Madeley: Should I bite my tongue around my Remainer pals?
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Dear Richard,
I’m having a reunion lunch with a couple of old university friends and am approaching the event with some trepidation. We all graduated in 1969 with degrees in politics and, of course, at the time saw ourselves as revolutionary socialists.
While my friends have retained their Left-wing idealism, I have been on a political journey that has brought me from membership of the Conservative Party to a firm intention to vote Reform at the next election. My friends are Remainers, now Rejoiners; I was involved with the Brexit Party and voted to leave the EU.
We have had very occasional meetings over the years and I have kept quiet about my political journey. But this lunch will be boozy, with a few beers beforehand and plenty of wine with. At some point the discussion will turn to politics and probably become quite heated. Do you think I should continue to bite my tongue to avoid upsetting our friendship or be open about my views and trust that it is strong enough to survive such a revelation?
— Tim, via email
Dear Tim,
As a genuinely apolitical person, I’ve noticed over the years that people on the Right tend to be more generally accepting of Left-leaning friends’ views than the other way around. Don’t ask me why, but those on the Left just seem to be less tolerant when Right-of-centre buddies – and even family members – spout their political opinions. They get cross. They can get a bit shouty. It’s just the way it is.
So given that you’re not going to a political meeting, but an old friends’ reunion, I would see discretion as the better part of valour. I mean, you’re not going to convert anyone to your point of view, are you? You’ll just wind them up, and probably get wound up in turn.
So my advice is to keep politics firmly out of friendship. Stay schtum. Do what I do when talk turns to sport, of which I know nothing. Go to the bar. Visit the loo. Make an excuse to place a phone call. Change the subject. It’s lunchtime, not Question Time.
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