Dear Michelle: Your Monolids Are Beautiful

Acceptance of others begins with accepting yourself. The second chapter of See Yourself, See Each Other by Allure and Ulta Beauty, spotlights personal journeys from self-consciousness to self-acceptance. In publishing these powerful stories, Allure and Ulta Beauty continue their movement celebrating respect, empathy, and limitless beauty.

Dear Michelle,

You and your eyes have been through a lot. You've seen incredible joy. You've seen immense pain.

The complicated relationship with your eyes started in middle school when those mean boys first made you aware of how your eyes were different. They did this daily.
"Ugly."
"Chink."
"How can you even see?"
Their words stung. But their eyes never once saw you cry, because yours never let the tears come out.

Sometimes, in your bedroom, you tried to tape them open using Scotch tape, hoping they'd widen permanently — like braces for your monolids. It didn't work.

After the taunting stopped, you still carried it with you — tucked deep inside for years.

Other than your family, you didn't see anyone who looked like you at school or on TV or in movies or splashed on the covers of magazines. Your eyes were not an object of beauty. They made you a freak.

In college, you surrounded them with black kohl eyeliner, making them dark like your mood. When you met Erwin, your future husband, you told him how much you've always hated your eyes. "I love your eyes," he said. "I think they're beautiful." (Your reaction: "He's crazy.")

When your son was born, he had these round, almost anime-character eyes. Ethan was adorable in every way possible. And yes, the thought did cross your mind: "At least he got his dad's eyes."

And then, three years later, Gabby arrived. In the hospital, the doctor handed her to you — a warm little bundle, swollen and red from the long journey out. After some tests, a nurse brought her back to you. The puffiness in her face had subsided, revealing her cute tiny face, now calm. You looked into her eyes. Tiny. Almond-shaped. They looked like yours. And they were beautiful.

So remember, Michelle: Your eyes are powerful. They help you read wonderful stories. They help you take in breathtaking sunsets in Spain. They watch your children grow up. They allow you to finally see that you have been beautiful all along.

Now, with another little one growing in your belly, you'll no doubt wonder what her eyes will look like — round and anime-like or tiny and almond-shaped. Either way, know this: When those eyes look up at you for the first time ever, they will be utterly, undeniably beautiful.

Love,

Originally Appeared on Allure