Dating Over 40? Relationship Expert Says This Is Where to Look for Love
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With so many dating apps catered to people from every walk of life, it’s no surprise that dating sites over 40 exist. These websites and apps are slowly but surely becoming one of the main ways older singles connect.
“Dating in your 40s is definitely not ordinary,” says Kate Danley, L.C.S.W. a licensed clinical social worker at Thriveworks in Tampa, FL., who specializes in relationships. At almost 47, Danley finds herself single and a part of the experience, and she’s very aware of how the scene has changed.
Meet the Expert: Kate Danley, L.C.S.W. a licensed clinical social worker at Thriveworks in Tampa, FL., who specializes in relationships.
“We no longer meet people in the grocery store, we order grocery delivery. We don’t meet a nice guy at church, they are all taken. We don’t get set up, just about everyone we know is divorced and in the same place,” she admits. “We don’t meet people at the office, most of us now work remotely. So dating sites seem like the only place to go to meet someone.”
Danley has tried a few of the most popular platforms. “There are some good ones and some definite not-so-good ones,” she says. Below, she shares her favorites, and we mention a few other popular picks that meet her criteria.
Best Dating Site for Over 40 Overall: eHarmony
eHarmony is a dating site classic for a reason—it’s been successful for lots of couples, with the site claiming that someone finds love on the platform every 14 minutes. It offers a compatibility quiz that helps you find your matches, and it’s up to you to narrow them down from there. eHarmony is ideal for people over 40 because its users tend to be in search of serious relationships, rather than a fling.
After taking your compatibility quiz, you’ll see your matches and their compatibility score, which will give you the opportunity to connect with your best fits first. The quiz also creates all users a personality profile, which is a helpful, easily digestible infographic that sums up their top traits.
Pros:
An in-depth, comprehensive compatibility quiz helps match you with the best suitors possible
Paid membership improves the quality of the dating pool
You can start for free (but a paid membership is required to talk to matches)
Cons:
Paid and vetted dating pool may mean fewer matches
Cost: Taking the quiz and browsing matches is free, but then you have to sign up for a membership. Options include: Premium Light: six months at $65.90 per month; Premium Plus: 12 months at $45.90 per month; Premium Extra: 24 months at $35.90 per month
Most Hip Dating Site for Over 40: Hinge
You may wonder if you’re too old for Hinge, but people of all ages are on it, including Danley. She particularly loves the creative bio prompts that give you special insight into peoples lives and interests. “An example: There is a question about what your simple pleasures are,” says Danley. “My answers are as follows: estate sale treasures, art, tiki bars, sushi, sun, and sandy beaches. I think that tells the reader a lot about me.”
Hinge claims to be the only dating app designed to be deleted and promises to help you go on your last first date. They do so with the help of Hinge Lab researchers and behavioral analysts, who study daters and compatibility to continuously improve the app’s services.
Pros:
The app will continuously rotate your photos, showing your most popular ones first
Creative bio prompts help you get to know your potential matches on a personal level
Smart Matches and Most Compatible suggestions help create better quality dates
Cons:
You have to pay to unlock its full matching potential
Cost: Free with add-ons (Hinge Preferred Member status starts at $9.99 per month and goes up to $20)
Best Free Dating Site for Over 40: Facebook Dating
“Facebook may seem like an unlikely place to find love, but Facebook Dating is there, nonetheless,” Danley says. Conveniently, it’s a place where you likely already connect with others, which means you don’t have to sign up for a whole new platform, or worry about creating yet another username and password. When you’re on the Facebook app, in the settings, there is a Dating section that opens a portal to a whole new world of potential love connections. Plus, you have the option to add up to 12 photos to your Facebook Dating profile—which can go a long toward finding matches. “I recommend putting as many as you are allowed,” says Danley. “Most people want to see more than selfies.”
Some advice? While all dating apps can be hotbeds for scammers, Danley says it may be particularly easy to get catfished on Facebook Dating. However, there is a feature that allows you to share your Facebook profile with your connections without adding them as a friend. “This is a great way to verify they are who they say they are,” she says.
Pros:
You can add a total of 12 photos to your profile
AI-generated intros assist with writing your bio using the information you have in your profile
There are lots of categories for self-description, including the option to add music
You can schedule your first date with the help of Facebook Events
Cons:
Some say the user base is smaller than other dating apps.
The risk of catfishing may be particularly high
Cost: Free
Best Dating Site for Women Over 40: Bumble
If you’re a woman who has been hesitant in the past to make the first move, Bumble empowers you to shoot your shot—a great exercise in self-confidence and, also, the potential reason you connect with your soulmate.
“Bumble lets the woman be in control. Once you match with someone, you can make the first move,” says Danley. “You have 24 hours to decide if you want to send a message to them. And if not, after 24 hours, the match disappears.”
The app is free to download and can help you find a match as-is, but Bumble Premium offers lots of cool perks, like extensions on your response time, unlimited likes on other profiles, and advanced filters for narrowing down exactly the type of partner you’re looking for.
Pros:
An identity verification function helps to ensure all users are who they say they are
Includes the option to connect your profile to your Instagram and Spotify accounts to show off your personality
Bumble Bizz and Bumble BFF allows you to connect with friends and business partners
Cons:
The conservative algorithm means you may get fewer matches compared to other sites.
Cost: Free with add-ons, including: Bumble Premium: $19.99 for one week, $39.99 for one month, $76.99 for three months, or $229.99 for a lifetime subscription
Most Fun Dating Site for Over 40: OkCupid
OkCupid’s site says the app makes 90 million matches each year. Similar to eHarmony, the dating pool is known to be a bit more on the serious relationship-searching side, and there is a questionnaire that helps you find compatible mates, but it’s not nearly as lengthy as eHarmony’s.
With that said, OkCupid claims to prompt the important questions—those you may want to know the answers to before the first date. They discuss everything “from climate change to cilantro,” the site reads. Imagine being a pineapple-on-pizza lover only to discover your date doesn’t believe in a loaded Hawaiian slice?
Pros:
Basic services are free
Questionnaire prioritizes core values, likes, and dislikes
LGBTQ+ friendly
Cons:
Not as popular as others on this list
Cost: Free with upgrade options, including: Basic membership: one month at $29.99, three months at $19.99 monthly, or six months, or $14.99 monthly; Premium membership: one month at $39.99, three months at $26.66 monthly, or six months at $19.99 monthly; Incognito membership: one month at $19.99, three months at $14.99 monthly, or six months at $9.99 monthly
Most Reputable Dating Site Over 40: Match
Match has brought couples together since 1995. The site serves adults of all ages, but it has functions to help seniors meet people their age, like a custom search that allows you to input a specific age range. If you’re open to finding love anywhere, this is the app for you—Match services 24 countries and territories and operates in 15 languages.
While questionnaires are great—especially for people who need help bolstering their profiles—Match is unique in that it offers members lots of space to free-write self-descriptions and share whatever they want with potential suitors, uninhibited by surface-level details and restrictive prompts.
Pros:
Profile can include up to 26 photos
You can note physical and personality preferences you’re looking for
After six months, if you don’t have a match, the company promises six months of free membership
Cons:
Most features require a paid subscription
Cost: Standard membership: $21.84 per month; Premium membership: $23.11 per month
Best Dating Site for People Over 50: Silver Singles
If you’re over 50, Silver Singles is for you. It’s a dating site for people over 50 where users can find both casual and serious relationships, depending on what they are looking for.
The site is LGBTQ+-friendly, and, after you sign up, it pledges to send you three to seven matches every day until you connect with that special someone. SilverSingles is also just as concerned with security as you are and prioritizes it by offering messaging within an encrypted network that is also protected by fraud detection.
Pros:
An in-depth personality test that helps the algorithm suggest ideal matches
The algorithm front-loads users who are actively online and serious about meeting someone so no time is wasted
Basic membership is free
Cons:
May not be a good fit for those between 40 and 50
Cost: Free with upgrade options, including: One year for $27.95 per month; Six months at $37.95 per month; Three months at $49.95 per month
Best Dating Site for LGBTQ+ People Over 40: HER
HER was the first dating app to exclusively focus on the needs of queer, bisexual, and lesbian daters. On the app, your profile is super customizable: You can easily share your pronouns, dating preferences, and there are even pride stickers available to decorate your page and show potential partners what you’re all about. There are 13 million-plus active members, and within those exist dozens of community groups dedicated to specific interests.
To make sure your matches know your intentions up-front, you can add specific caveats to your page like whether you’re sober, religious, or hope to retire soon. In that same vein, you can add stickers that disclaim your love language and even your political party.
Pros:
Created by queer people
13 million-plus active members
Paid incognito mode allows you to browse profiles before connecting with someone and revealing your identity
Cons:
Subscriptions can get pricey
Cost: Free with upgrades, including: One month for $14.99; Six months for $59.99; One year for $89.99
Best Dating Site for Hookups Over 40: Tinder
Over time, Tinder has developed a reputation for being the destination for finding friends with benefits. And that applies to people over 40, too. If you’re looking for something casual, it’s worth giving Tinder a try.
After making your profile, you can increase your chances of attracting matches by filling in your passions—the idea being that others with similar interests will find you. And if you, for whatever reason, can’t meet in person on the first date, Tinder has a face-to-face video chat function that allows you to safely meet without sharing any additional contact information.
Pros:
Large dating pool
Easy to use and set up a profile
Easy to change your location if traveling
Cons:
The vast number of users may make users quicker to judge each other
Cost: Free with upgrades, including: Tinder Plus: $7.99 for one month, $4.00 monthly for six months, or $2.67 for 12 months; Tinder Gold: $24.99 for one month, $12.50 monthly for six months, or $8.33 for 12 months
Best Dating Site for Single Parents Over 40: Stir
Dating as a parent is tricky because you never know the best time to let your suitor know that you have a little one (or more) back home. This site does the heavy lift for you, so you can get right into discussing family dynamics while leaving room for other fun topics of conversation.
Because single parents are inherently super busy, Stir gives users a place on their profile to disclaim their free time, also known as “Stir Time,” which makes scheduling dates a breeze. There are also paid features like Boost, which makes your profile a high-ranker in your area for an hour, Rewind, which allows you to change your mind about past suitor choices, and Message Before You Match, which allows you to send a message to someone you really like, in hopes that they’ll match back.
Pros:
Most users are single parents—and those who aren’t know that the majority of them are
Created by the makers of Match
Uses questionnaires to get to know members
Cons:
Some say it’s too kid-focused
Cost: Free with upgrades, including: One week for $19.99; One month for $29.99
How to choose the best dating site over 40
According to Danley, the best dating sites and apps make it easy to communicate with others. Other key features to look for are those that ensure you can include “as much information as possible” on your profile, like questionnaires and prompts, to allow you and your potential connections to get to know one another.
“Navigating this new world of dating can be daunting...good people are out there!” Danley says. “We just have to find them in a new way.”
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