Your Daily FoodScope for September 25, 2022
Do you often find yourself wondering what food to cook, how to cook it, and even that dreaded question—how much of it? It’s a daily struggle for all of us, but need not be with our food horoscope. Satisfaction is only a click away!
Aries
One step on the scale will tell you that your hard work is paying off. After months of denial, you're tempted to introduce the svelte new you to your old friends pizza and pasta. Snap out of it! You love them, but you'll have to let them go in favor of tofu and something that looks like seaweed.
Taurus
There could be a direct correlation between your burgeoning sex appeal and the dreams of fruit you've been having. Psychologists say that fruit represents sexuality. So if you've dreaming of bananas and peaches lately, you might want to hit the town this weekend.
Gemini
Avoid overeating today. You don't want to start the weekend feeling like The Blob. Chow sensibly on the protein/carbs/low-fat essentials, like chicken salad or salmon rice bowl. You'll be looking lean and mean! Eat like a bird today if you want to soar with the eagles tomorrow.
Cancer
As captain, you'll be expected to guide the ship though hell or high water. If only you could muster the energy. Skillet may have to rustle you up some grub. A traditional breakfast of fried eggs, bacon, and beans will set you right on course. Then take a nap. Skillet seems to know what he's doing.
Leo
Treat your circle of friends to a lavish dinner tonight and spare no expense. Roast duck! Shark fin soup! Champers! Beef balls! They'll greatly appreciate your generosity. But don't forget to talk to everyone about work. This way you can write the whole thing off as a business expense.
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Virgo
You may not have the bucks to travel abroad today. Do the next best thing and explore ethnic restaurants in your town. You may find that the sushi is as delicious as that on the Ginza, and the french fries are much better than the ones in France (or Belgium, as the case may be). The wonders of the world may be in your own backyard.
Libra
Problems with co-workers have you fried. Do what you can to keep your mind off them and you'll escape unscathed. Eat a piece of chocolate every time you see one of them. That should put you in your happy space until 5 o'clock.
Scorpio
A power struggle with a formidable opponent could go tooth and nail today. You'll put up a noble fight, but lack of experience will catch up to you, and you'll concede defeat. You'll do so humbly, admitting that you've never met anyone who made a meatball grinder better than you.
Sagittarius
Like the guy who invented the spork, some of your inspired ideas just might have practical uses. But others might go over like chives on a birthday cake. But you'll never know unless you try. The world didn't think it was ready for flavored water, but now look. Everyone's hooked!
Capricorn
You may find yourself driven to achieve excellence today. There will be no task too trivial that it can't be done to perfection. Even preparing your lunch will be an exercise in excellence. No one makes a ham and cheese on rye with the same stylish sense of aplomb as you.
Aquarius
Idle hands are the devil's tools today. Boredom could have you snacking thoughtlessly without regard for consequences. Curse the devil for such weakness! But you can get the last laugh by tossing that Snickers bar and eating yogurt instead. You may have won this round, but he'll be back, my sweeties!
Pisces
You'll carefully prepare a dinner where you can read poetry to someone special over soft candlelight. What a romantic moment that will be. It would help if you had someone to share it with. As it is, the cat either doesn't like your chicken and dumplings or she isn't a big fan of e. e. Cummings.
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