Your Daily FoodScope for March 31, 2023



Do you often find yourself wondering what food to cook, how to cook it, and even that dreaded question—how much of it? It’s a daily struggle for all of us, but need not be with our food horoscope. Satisfaction is only a click away!

Aries

You'll be dragged kicking and screaming into a busy day, so do your best. Kick back after work and do as little as possible. The most effort you'll need to put out will be spreading peanut butter and jelly on slices of bread and turning on the TV.

Taurus

You'll want to hang in the company of large groups of rowdy, raucous people. Dinner at a German brauhaus will be right up your alley. There will be much merriment and lots of hasenpfeffer, kartoffelknode and, of course, mugs of glorious weissbier!

Gemini

You'll have too many things on your plate at work today. This will not be to your liking. But it'll be a different story after work when you'll have lots of baked ziti and garlic bread on your plate, which will definitely be to your liking.

Cancer

Daydreaming will take you to wondrous places today. You'll be a deep-sea superhero trapped in the watery lair of a gang of marauding mussels, oysters and clams. It's good thing you have your little fork. It looks like you'll have to eat your way out!

Leo

With their skimpy portions, snooty wait staff and menus that are so last year, trendy four-star restaurants can often be disappointing. So save your money today and eat at your local diner. The pot roast blue plate special, now that's four-star!

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Virgo

An avalanche of details will bury you today. You'll want something uncomplicated after eventually digging your way out. It doesn't get much simpler than tomato soup and a grilled cheese sandwich, although a few chips on the side wouldn't be bad.

Libra

Don't get upset if things don't progress as quickly as you'd like today. It'll seem like it's taking that beef brisket hours to cook, and its still not done! You may have to learn patience if that's the case. There's a reason it's called a slow cooker.

Scorpio

Living in your imagination will be a good way to spend the day. You'll live where it rains Hershey's Kisses and snows cotton candy, where you'll swim in eggnog rivers and drink chocolate or champagne. Ah, what dreams these be!

Sagittarius

You'll plod along like your feet are made of cement today. You skipped the healthy breakfast that could've given you energy. Could it have killed you to make oatmeal and slices of wheat toast? Never mind, you may be too tired to formulate an answer.

Capricorn

Put the pen to write today to woo back to an upset lover. But it won't be relationship problems that you'll want to apologize for. It'll be for the oysters of questionable freshness you served for dinner. It's never fun having your stomach pumped.

Aquarius

You'll discover today that you have less in the bank than you thought. So tighten the belt if you want to get by. Too bad you didn't prepare for this beforehand. It'll be tough eating nothing but ramen for the next few months.

Pisces

Transforming yourself from novice to chef will take time. But with practice and patience you'll get there. You'll know it's time to put on the big, puffy hat when you finally pull from the oven a perfectly prepared rack of lamb.

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