Dad Gives Out Free Hugs at Pride Parade & Pleads With Parents to be Allies to LGBTQ Kids
June 13, 2019
Last year, a woman named Sara Cunningham made headlines for offering to be a "stand-in mom" at same-sex weddings. The response was amazing. Now, as cities around the country celebrate Pride month, a dad named Howie Dittman is making headlines for attending the Pittsburgh Pride parade with an offer similar to Cunningham's: He and a few friends wanted to provide celebrants with "free hugs."
In a post shared to the Love What Matters Facebook page on Monday, June 10, Dittman explained that he and some friends showed up to the parade that day wearing T-shirts that read "Free Dad Hugs" and "Free Mom Hugs." "We gave out hundreds of hugs," he wrote. "Hundreds. Some were super happy hugs. But others were like these two... and there were way too many like them." The two hugs he's referencing were captured in moving photos, posted alongside the story.
Dittman explained that the young man he is hugging in the first photo "was kicked out at 19 when his parents found out. They haven't spoken to him since. He cried on my shoulder. Sobbed. Squeezed me with everything he had. I felt a tiny bit of that pain that he carries with him every minute of every day. He was abandoned because of who he loves. And on June 9th, 2019, he was participating in a celebration of love when he was brought to his emotional knees by a shirt that said ‘FREE DAD HUGS’ on a complete stranger."
He then shared that he didn't know "the specifics" about the young woman he was hugging in the second photo. "But I know that she saw me from across the street," he shared. "I wasn't paying attention. By the time she got to me, she had tears in her eyes. She stood in front of me and looked up at me, with a look of sadness and helplessness that I'll never forget. She hugged me with everything she had. And I hugged her back. She held on for so long, melting into me, and thanked me endlessly. And I can't stop thinking about her. What she must be going thru with her family... the ones who are supposed to be there for her no matter what. Who does she go to when she needs advice on love, money or just life? Who does she share old memories with that only her parents would have been there for? What are her holidays like? How often does she hope for that phone call, with unconditional love on the other end? I don't know her story. But it doesn't feel like a huge leap to assume she's lost those who should love her the most and forever."
Dittman continued, "Imagine that, parents. Imagine that your child feels SO LOST FROM YOU that they sink into the arms of a complete stranger and sob endlessly just because that stranger is wearing a shirt offering hugs from a dad. Think of the depths of their pain. Try to imagine how deep those cuts must be."
The Pennsylvania father concluded with a plea for other moms and dads: "Please don't be the parent of a child that has to shoulder that burden. I met WAY too many of them, of all ages, today. And if by chance anyone knows these folks, please let them know they can reach out any time they need a surrogate dad to talk to. I'll be there.”
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Wracking up over 6K shares since it was posted earlier this week, Dittman's experience has touched a nerve with the LGBTQ community and fellow parents. A commenter named Julie Lungwitz Goodman shared that she offered hugs in Buffalo Grove, Illinois' first Pride Parade. "There were sooo many hugs," she wrote. "I am an ally and am willing to give that hug and shoulder."
Another named Jordan Taylor noted, "One of the greatest hugs I have EVER received was on June 8th, 2019 from a woman in a 'Free Mom Hugs' shirt outside of LA Pride."
And a mom named Elizabeth Houser Broome echoed powerful message of this dad's experience beautifully: "Family isn’t always blood. Sometimes friends and strangers with the best intentions can be just as important. Thank y’all for giving those much needed hugs and acceptance. I’m a mom of two small kids myself. I wish I could’ve been there to hug some folks who needed them as well. And to tell people like my forever hero, Fred Rogers, used to say, 'I like you just the way you are.' More love, more hugs, more kindness."
