Dad Considers Selling Younger Daughter's Car to Pay the Older's College Tuition After She Lost Her Scholarship

The dad sees the move as a necessity due to the circumstances, but his younger daughter feels slighted

A conflicted dad wasn't sure how to handle a situation involving his two daughters.

The 55-year-old Redditor explained the situation on R/AmITheA------, noting his daughters are 21 and 17. "My oldest is finishing up her junior year of college at a very good school. We are all very proud of her. She has a full-ride academic scholarship that is dependent on her GPA," he began.

Unfortunately, the 21-year-old's GPA "will dip below the cutoff," causing her to lose her scholarship. For the family, the prospect of paying out of pocket for last year's tuition is daunting.

"If she gets her GPA back above the threshold next semester, we can apparently 'readdress' the situation to determine if her scholarship can be reinstated for the final semester of school."

"When I tell you we bent over backward trying to find a solution before we came to the one we did... we've done the math, and she can't get her grades up with how much of the semester is left. She also can't take enough credits during the summer based on how the summer classes are structured to raise her GPA high enough even if she got As, and the school refuses to make any exceptions," the father of two noted.

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Related: How Do I Talk to My Kid About Money?

He went on to explain that he and his wife are "upset" at their daughter's situation but are also giving her grace because "she's a very smart kid who really struggled with her mental health from sophomore year into junior year, and it affected her grades."

"Under no circumstance did we want her to leave college with only one year left. That just truly would not be fair to her after how hard she has worked," he added.

The solution that they came up with comes at the expense of their 17-year-old, who was gifted "a brand-new Toyota Rav4" for her birthday just months ago.

"This was somewhat a gift for the fact that she has also been working really hard in school and getting great grades. She's finishing up her junior year as well and has begun the application process for college."

Noting that "the car was a big deal," the original poster (OP) said he and his wife "sat her down and told her that, 'We're very sorry, but if we can't find another solution, we have to sell your car to help cover [oldest's] tuition."

OP said that the car will only cover "probably 1/3 of the tuition for one full year," but it's the best they could come up with. Of course, the pair's younger daughter was hurt by what she felt was a slight.

"She became extremely upset and told us that it was unfair we were 'rewarding' our oldest for failing and 'punishing' her for succeeding."

OP asserted that he "never wanted her to feel punished, or for our oldest to feel rewarded. It's just the reality of what we need to do right now. If the same happened to her, we would do everything in our power to help."

Asking commenters to tell him their thoughts, many believed the couple was handling the situation the wrong way.

One commenter pointed out, "Your oldest child is 21 years old. She can take out loans, transfer to less expensive school, work while attending school, etc., to cover tuition. She lost her scholarship. Your youngest works hard and was given a gift for her hard work. You can't use it to bail out the oldest."

Another noted, "I commend you for understanding that your oldest has struggled with her mental health and wanting to help her get back on her feet. However, helping your oldest and the expense of your youngest is f------ unconscionable. You and your wife need to take out a loan yourself or have your 21-year-old take out a loan and help her pay it back."

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