The Crazy-Hectic, Sour-Patch-Kid-Fueled Nighttime Routine of a USC Sleep Doctor
Welcome to Sleep Diaries, where interesting people share a week’s worth of late-night habits. They’ll tell you, the reader, how they wrap up their day, how they get to sleep, stay asleep or fall back asleep, and how they feel when they wake up in the morning. Why? Because sleep is America’s Most Wanted thing. We chase after it like an elusive elixir that'll make us look younger and feel less stressed. (Maybe because it will.) We thought by getting people to share what works for them-and doesn’t-it might help you find better ZZZs. Or at least give you something entertaining to read. This week, we have Dr. Raj Dasgupta MD, FACP, FCCP, FAASM, assistant professor of clinical medicine at Keck School of Medicine of USCUniversity of Southern California, in the division of pulmonary, critical care and sleep medicine. He's way more fun than I just made it sound.
Before I start my journal, I want to list all the players on my team (Team Dasgupta). First is my wife Michelle who is also a full-time doctor. She practices Rheumatology; if you don’t know what that is you are not alone. A Rheumatologist specializes in treating diseases that affect the joints, muscles bones, and the immune system. Did I mention that my wife is pregnant! Michelle is in her second trimester. She is going through all the sleeping problems that occur during pregnancy, which means I am going through all the sleeping problems that happen during pregnancy alongside her. We have two amazing kids. Mina is our soon-to-be 6-year-old girl who loves to talk and ask questions-especially when it’s time to go to bed-but on the plus side she loves to snuggle. My youngest is my 4-year-old boy Aiden. He is the toughest tiny warrior in the whole world with a huge heart that just wants to love. Unfortunately Aiden was diagnosed with autism but is improving every day. Getting good, quality sleep is tough for many autistic kids, which adds a lot of stress to the parents. I am fortunate that Aiden’s sleep is pretty good on most nights, but I’ll share more inside scoop later. I also have two dogs. Our oldest is an overly needy, anxiety-filled yorkie-poo named Ringo that my wife and I got when we were living in Philadelphia before moving to Los Angeles 6 years ago. Our latest addition to Team Dasgupta is Clifford, our over-sized Goldendoodle that we got before realizing we wanted another kid.
Oh yeah, I forget to mention me! I’m Dr. Raj, a quadruple-board-certified, full-time physician in Pulmonary, Critical Care, Sleep and Internal Medicine who is a professor at the University of Southern California (USC). I also teach medical students, residents, fellows, and attending physicians around the world on how to pass their board exams. So I’m always traveling, which is not the best for getting good sleep. I’m so passionate about teaching that I have my own book series published by Elsevier titled: “Morning Report: Beyond the Pearls." Which means during my limited spare time I’m always writing for my books or preparing for lectures late at night and sometimes in bed, which is also a bad habit for most. I've also been the Sleep and Pulmonary expert on the TV show The Doctors for the last 6 seasons and have made numerous appearances on the likes of CNN, Inside Edition, The Talk, and Larry King. Now that everyone is aware of all the different dynamics of our household, let’s talk about my sleep or lack thereof.
Friday: No TV, No iPad
I get home from work around 6 p.m. and it’s already time to start bedtime for the kids. This begins with reading time. We strongly believe in trying to limit technology-that means TV off and no iPad. Even if the kids get a little upset, I know they will survive. We read with Aiden first, but it’s hard for him to stay seated for long stretches so he will often pace (and might even do some scripting which is a behavior that autistics kids do). After Aiden, its Mina’s turn. Right now she loves reading about the human body; I usually take over the reading so I can show off a little. At 7:30 p.m. it is time to brush teeth and go to the bathroom. As the kids are washing up, I let the dogs out to do their business. Of course they start barking the minute they leave the house so I have to go chasing after them. Back inside, Mina is a Chatty Cathy asking nonsense questions. Michelle lays with Aiden until he falls asleep.
After the kids fall asleep, my wife and I like watching something that does not require a lot of thinking! Tonight it’s our favorite cooking show Chopped.
I say “good night” to everyone and go to my bedroom to start doing work. I finish my presentation for a chest x-ray interpretation conference I’m giving next week. It’s around 9 p.m. when Michelle comes back from our kids’ room. We usually get a little hungry and go to the kitchen for some guilty pleasures like Swedish Fish and Sour Patch Kids. We then talk about all the family decisions we need to make but never have the time to talk about during the day. Now it’s close to 10 p.m. and we debate whether we should stay in the living room and watch TV or go to the bedroom and watch TV, since one of us usually falls asleep right when we start watching. We decide to go to the bedroom and usually prefer watching something that does not require a lot of thinking! Tonight it’s our favorite cooking show Chopped and about halfway through, we're both bobbing our heads.
Ringo is already in deep sleep right between Michelle and I. Clifford is is too scared to go on the bed since Ringo is the alpha male and does not allow it. It usually takes 5-10 minutes for us to fall asleep. Michelle and I both keep our cell phones in the other room unless I am on-call at the hospital which is never fun. Around 3 a.m. (I assume) I hear the sound of loud footsteps running toward my bedroom and the door is slammed shut, startling Michelle and I from sleep. It’s Aiden-he literally climbs over me and pushes Ringo out of the way. Tonight is a good night because he goes to bed right away but sometimes he just lays next to us either singing a song or talking to himself for up to an hour. In the morning Michelle and I never get up naturally. It is usually a toss up between Mina coming to the bedroom asking for breakfast or the dogs scratching at the front door to go outside. This morning was especially hectic because I am on-call at the USC Medical ICU this weekend and Michelle and the kids are going the Autism Speaks Walk at the Pasadena Rose Bowl. Both of us are a little sluggish, but that soon goes away when life’s duties call and we both have our cup of coffee.
Saturday: Return of the Western Gunslinger
I get home from work around 7 p.m. I was running around in the medical ICU all day so I am physically tired, but like many parents you can never be tired when you get home-even though it is so tempting to sit in a room by yourself and watch Game of Thrones. Instead, it’s time for our bedtime ritual. Aiden has already read his book and Mina is in the middle of learning about the Presidents of the United States. Tonight is Barack Obama’s turn. I find out that the Autism Speaks Walk was a success and the whole family minus me had a great time.
Like clockwork, around 3:30, Aiden barges into the room like a western gunslinger kicking open the saloon door and climbs over me, between Michelle and I.
The kids brush their teeth and we all go into the kids’ bedroom and tuck them in. Michelle stays behind to lay with Aiden. Unfortunately, tonight he has more energy than the whole family so he is up for a while climbing on my poor wife who just wants to go to the bathroom and have a late-night snack (remember, she is eating for two now). I’m finally relaxing in the bedroom but I remember that I have to give a talk to a patient support group for Sarcoidosis Awareness Month. I also have a lecture coming up for the Pulmonary and Critical Care Fellows, so I need to finish my presentation. I grab my trusty laptop and get a glass of my favorite drink-Diet Orange Sunkist with lots of ice-and some Sour Patch Kids and sit in bed and work on those two projects. Michelle finally makes it back to the room almost 2 hours later (she fell asleep next to Aiden), and she is craving a late-night snack. By the time we get in bed it’s 10:30 p.m. We recap the day and attempt to watch Sex and the City (my wife's favorite show), but once again we fall asleep halfway through. Like clockwork, around 3:30, Aiden barges into the room like a western gunslinger kicking open the saloon door and climbs over me, between Michelle and I. I get a little insomnia but am fortunately able to get back to sleep within 15-20 minutes. Next thing I know it's morning. Michelle is up already making the kids breakfast and it’s time for me to go to work.
Sunday: A Star Is Born
Being on-call for the weekend gets harder and harder as I get older, but I survived another weekend call and I’m excited to get home. Michelle as already given baths to our kids, read to Aiden, and is working with Mina now. She tells me there are some leftovers from lunch that she saved for me for dinner. Tomorrow is a school day for the kids which means clothes have to be picked out the night before and lunches have to be prepared. Luckily Michelle and I make a great team so we divide and conquer the chores. After we do our nighttime ritual for the kids I remember that I haven’t gone to the gym in a while, so I tell Michelle I am going to work out for 30 minutes on the elliptical. I get home around 8:30 p.m. and take a long, hot shower. I finally lay down in bed; Michelle comes in and we do our usual catch up of the day and a nighttime snack, which probably contradicts the workout I just did. We let the dogs out and of course they start barking at nothing and I have to run outside in my underwear to get them back in. Tonight Michelle felt like watching a movie in bed so we rent A Star Is Born, which is way too emotional for a Sunday night and way too long. So it’s already past 11:30 p.m. and Michelle can’t stop crying from the movie but we turn the light off and go to bed. Every time I am about the fall asleep Michelle recaps the movie to me but she finally gets tired and falls asleep. I swear I just closed my eyes when good old Aiden storms into the room for his gymnastics routine between Michelle and I.
Michelle’s OB doctor and accidentally find out the gender of our baby. When we get home, between getting the kids ready for bedtime, we are also talking to both sets of parents and close friends.
Monday: Big Family News
After a full day of work we have an appointment with Michelle’s OB doctor and accidentally find out the gender of our baby…it’s a GIRL! We are so happy! When we get home, between getting the kids ready for bedtime, we are also talking to both sets of parents and close friends. We put the kids to bed and Michelle stays with Aiden, but she is constantly texting me about the great news and what names should we consider for our soon-to-be beautiful girl. Michelle makes it back to the bedroom around 9 p.m. and I’m sitting in the bed working on my next presentation in Salt Lake City this Thursday. Michelle convinces me to put my laptop away and relax. We make a quick trip to the kitchen to do some dishes and enjoy some Sour Patch Kids. We go to bed around 10 p.m. Aiden does his usual routine and next thing I remember is waking up at 6 a.m.
Tuesday: Eggos in Bed
After a full day of rounding on the USC Pulmonary service I get home around 5:30 p.m. and find out that Aiden wasn’t feeling a 100 percent and took a 2 hour “nap” today. First thing I think: Two hours is not a nap but just straight sleep. He is definitely not going to bed at his usual time, so Michelle and I are in for a long night. Regardless, we stick to our evening ritual of reading and putting away technology. We put the kids to sleep and I leave the room to wait in our bedroom for Michelle to come out. Ten minutes later, I hear little Aiden singing at the top of his lungs “Old McDonald had a farm...” over and over again with the usual animal names plus his favorite dinosaur, which he makes the loudest roar possible. This goes on and on for about an hour and I can image my wife saying to herself, Thank god I brought my headphones to bed. Two hours later, I hear two sets of footsteps walking toward our bedroom. Unfortunately this night my little guy couldn’t sleep and he became hungry, so Michelle decided make him his favorite Eggo Waffle and let him jump into bed with us. I immediately dimmed the bedroom lights and turned off the NBA playoffs that were on the TV even though it was an exciting game. Michelle was so tired (she worked today too). She fell asleep right away with Aiden practically lying on top of her while munching on that Eggo Waffle. About an hour later, Aiden went to sleep and so did I.
Wednesday: A Rare Game of Racquetball
I am just home from a great day at work. I did a phone interview with a reporter about the role of melatonin and sleep and I found out that Aiden is back to his usual self and had an awesome day. We do our usual bedtime routine but at 8:30 p.m. I am meeting my good friend Eric to play racquetball for the first time in years! I usually do my generic workout at my local gym-three times a week for my 30 minutes of the elliptical while I listen to a medical podcast in an attempt to get smarter while I exercise. But after 20+ years of doing the exact same workout I decided I need to switch this up a little. Also, having a crazy hectic life is stressful and I definitely needed something for stress relief, which is why racquetball is perfect. I can just imagine the ball being something I totally dislike or just flat out hate and hit the ball as hard as I want and yell as loud as I want. After an hour of racquetball, I come home to a ultra quiet house with only my wife awake, crying by herself watching A Star Is Born for the 20th time. I take a quick shower, change into some comfy sleeping clothes, and lay next to Michelle. Just when I am about to fall asleep, I remember that I am flying to Utah tomorrow and my flight is at 6 a.m. which means I need to be out of the house by 4 a.m., which means my alarm should be set for 3:30 a.m. I do the math and figure out that I will only be getting 4-5 hours of sleep and that I will be one sleep deprived guy tomorrow. Before I turn the light off I know that Aiden might be in the bedroom when I wake up and I should have all my clothes and stuff prepared so I don’t wake up the whole family. I wake up on time and put in my contacts which cause my tired eyes to get that burning feeling. I quietly leave the house, make it to LAX airport on time, and can’t wait to get a cup of coffee. I’m now sitting on the plane, debating if I should sleep here (easier said than done) or watch a movie. I’m always a sucker for a good movie since I rarely get a chance to watch the movies I want at home. Two hours later I land in Salt Lake City and head to the hospital to give my lecture.
I do the math and figure out that I will only be getting 4-5 hours of sleep and that I will be one sleep deprived guy tomorrow.
Thursday: Leftovers and Snuggles
This is my last entry for the week, and I have to admit I enjoyed writing in it. I just arrived to LAX around 6:30 p.m. and I am now driving home with the worst LA traffic on the freeway. I tell Michelle that I should be back around 8 p.m. so start the bedtime rituals without me. I get home to a quiet house with only the sounds of the dogs wagging their tails when I walk through the door. Michelle is sleeping in the kids’ room and I don’t hearing any singing or marching so I assume that Aiden is just about to fall asleep. I’m pretty sure Mina is sleeping already. She has that special power to sleep anywhere at anytime. I eat leftovers that Michelle left for me in the fridge and take a shower. Around 9, Michelle comes into the bedroom while I’m reviewing the lecture I need to give my Pulmonary & Critical Care fellows tomorrow at 8 a.m. Fortunately I have given this talk a bunch of times so I am not too worried. I am happy to see Michelle. It’s like we live in the same house but we never see each other, and when we do our minds are often somewhere else. Michelle and I snuggle in bed to watch Chopped on the Food Network and of course 15 minutes into the show we are asleep. I wake up around midnight to turn off the TV and let the dogs out for a quick bathroom break, then lay down next to Michelle again waiting for my Aiden to come busting through the door and find his place between us. I’m thinking to myself that I am the luckiest person in the whole world to have this beautiful family.
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