'This Couples Trip Made Me Okay With Being Alone'
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“Hey, do you want to drive the Blue Ridge Parkway?” I asked my fiancé, Todd, in late 2021. “It’s supposed to be pretty, and there are lots of scenic hikes you can do along the way.”
Not one for road trips—or hikes—he replied, “Mmmm, no thanks.”
“There’s a luxury resort with a beautiful spa and great restaurants at the end,” I pressed. “Okay, I guess.”
A few months later, we were buzzing past milepost 0 in Afton, Virginia. The plan: Drive most of the 200 or so miles of the Parkway’s Virginia section en route to Primland, a historic mountain resort in Meadows of Dan that had recently been acquired by Auberge, the hospitality behemoth that boasts 26 luxury hotels worldwide.
I was thrilled—it’s hard to connect to the outdoors in New York City—but Todd’s tepid reaction had yet to materialize into anything close to enthusiasm.
Just 20 minutes or so into our drive on the Parkway, I pulled into the lot for the Humpback Rock trailhead. It was a quick half-mile hike to a breathtaking view of the Shenandoah Valley.
The trail started off easily enough—clearly marked, nothing too strenuous. But as we approached the final 700 feet before the overlook, that changed. It zigzagged straight up, a true climb. I tuned out most of Todd’s cursing—but the vistas, I thought—and forged ahead. When we reached the end, it was as picturesque as promised. This is what I’d come for.
Todd humored me, even taking a few photos on Humpback Rock, but there were no further hiking pit stops. We pulled over at scenic spots—the Peaks of Otter Visitor’s Center with its pristine mountain lake, the straight-out-of-a-period-film Mabry Mill—but our boots remained on pavement. I quietly plotted how I’d convince him to join me on future excursions.
Once we pulled into Primland, Todd’s demeanor improved—predictably, hilariously. The main lodge was an impressive sight: vaulted ceilings and a wall of windows overlooking the property’s impressive expanse. This is what he’d come for.
The next day, I was ready to get out into the woods. (Primland boasts 18 miles of trails on its 12,000 acres.)
I timidly asked, “Wanna go for a quick hike?” The response: “I’ll pass, but you can go.”
By myself? Could I go by myself? What if it got lost? Injured? Mauled by a black bear? No, no, no. I’d inherited a deeply co-dependent nature from my mother. Solo hikes were not on the itinerary…or were they? It was a beautiful day. It’d be a shame to waste inside.
So, I laced up my Timberlands and walked to the trailhead. As I examined my options on the map, I could feel the butterflies in my stomach. It was nerves, but also excitement.
I chose the Pinnacle Loop and set off. My heart beat faster and my breathing got heavier—and not from exertion.
Primland Resort
CourtesySoon, though, the cool air calmed me, and I allowed my mind to focus on my surroundings. I thought about how the still-bare trees created what looked like a spiderweb in the sky above me. I marveled at how the late-afternoon sunlight gave the gorge’s peaks an almost soft-focus look. As I approached the end of the trail—in truth, about 45 minutes—I was totally invigorated.
I hiked the Lost Chestnut trail alone the following day, and it was just as glorious. Now, I realize I can be my own guide and that solo adventures can be just as fantastic as shared experiences.
Since then, I’ve set off on my own quite a few times. While I still love traveling with my friends and family, I now know that Brian is pretty good company too.
This article originally appeared in the July/August 2023 issue of Women’s Health.
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