How to Cope with Stress
Stress impacts everyone differently. Every single day we encounter potentially stressful situations in all aspects of our lives—whether it’s at our job, during social outings, or even at home. Some people experience higher levels than others, and some constantly feel a baseline level of stress. But the key to coping with it is understanding it.
So what exactly is stress?
The American Psychological Association defines stress as “the physiological or psychological response to internal or external stressors.” According to Nadia Jenefsky, licensed art therapist and clinical director at NY Creative Arts Therapists, it isn’t always bad news: Stress “occurs when your nervous system is mobilized, which can be a good thing,” she says.
The difference between good and bad stress is what Alfiee Breland-Noble, psychologist and founder of the AAKOMA Project, calls “me-stress” and “dis-stress.” The first is normal, “excited” stress that happens after say you just found out you’re pregnant or the adrenaline rush that gets you up in morning and helps power you through sports activities or a performance. “But stress can be problematic when your neuropsychological system activates in ways that can’t be released,” says Jenefsky.
How does one experience stress in the body and mind?
“In the body, it can feel like restlessness, fidgeting, heart pounding, sweaty palms, and blurred vision,” says Jenefsky. In the mind, it can be excessive worries, catastrophic thinking, and when the stakes feel high for everything. It’s when your mind is going around in circles, and you can’t make it stop.
What’s stressing us right now?
While work-life balance issues and finances have always been a cause for stress, the wake of the pandemic has led us to the next levels in terms of stress and trauma. There’s also lots of worries about the state of the world, says Breland-Noble, such as “racial and social justice issues, shootings, events that are affecting people of color in a disproportionate way.”
So how do we cope with stress?
It’s important to know that stress is different from mental health disorders like anxiety and depression, which are prolonged states that exist even when external stressors are removed, and those require medical diagnoses and treatments. But there are many things you can do to help ease and alleviate your feeling of stress.
1. Prioritize self-care
“You have to schedule time for things that make you feel good,” says Jenefsky. “We should all be as disciplined about self-care as we are about work. If you give your all for your work, you should keep that same level of commitment to yourself, too.” That means honoring time for the things that help bring you joy and relaxation, like yoga, therapy, taking a walk, and having coffee with friends. “Mental health is one of the tools for my work,” says Jenefsky. “I’m like an Olympic athlete with my self-care. It’s important for my job and family to ‘train’ in self-care practices, and I’m constantly using downtime to optimize my physical and mental health and overall wellness.” She also warns about reaching for the “low-hanging fruit of self-care,” like indulging in bad TV, alcohol, and sugar, which may give you immediate relief but aren’t good in the long-term.
2. Practice mindfulness
Most stress doesn’t take place in the present. Your mind is worried about what’s going to happen or fretting about something that already did. To snap you out of the rumination, try a mindfulness practice called “54321.”
When you are feeling stressed, stop, take a deep breath, and exhale, then identify five things you can see wherever you are: a picture on the wall, a beautiful tree outside, and so on. Then take a moment to identify four sounds: birds, the air-conditioning, music, car noise. Then move on to become aware of three different textures in your surroundings: the smoothness of your computer, the ridges in the steering wheel, the prickliness of the succulent on your desk. Now take in two smells around you—the lingering scent of a candle, someone grilling outside. Lastly, taste one thing, even if it’s just swallowing a sip of water.
This present-moment awareness not only stops the whirling of the mind but also slows the heart rate and relaxes the nervous system. And it’s a great practice you can employ anytime.
3. Breathe
Breland-Noble recommends the free meditation app Insight Timer to help you focus on your breath. When nervous, it’s common to take quick, shallow breaths. But taking longer and deeper breaths can help stimulate your vagus nerve and activate your parasympathetic nervous system, which helps with rest and digest. Jenefsky recommends clients practice diaphragmatic breathing, a.k.a. “belly breathing.” To do so, place two hands on your belly and inhale to expand like balloon to a count of five. Then, keeping hands in place, exhale for a count of five as you “release the balloon” and your belly flattens.
4. Move
“Move a muscle, change a thought” goes the old adage, and sometimes the best way to get stress out of the body is to move via exercise or dance. When your body is stressed, it gets into that flight-or-flight mode, and you can move those stress chemicals out by going for a run, putting on music to dance, and doing something physical. Practicing yoga helps bring both mindfulness and movement, and studies show it can reduce stress, anxiety, and depression. Masha Schmidt, a yoga teacher, licensed acupuncturist, and founder of the Daydream Collaborative Clinic, says that while hatha yoga (yoga poses combined with breath work) is beneficial, other aspects of yoga “like meditation, concentration, and yoga nidra can have a strong impact on stress. So studying all the limbs of yoga and practicing yoga as more than just exercise is where the stress relieving benefits are most pronounced.”
5. Get body work treatment
A lot of stress lives in our bodies even if we’re not aware of it: Think of your tight chest or tense muscles. Many people turn to somatic (relating to the body) treatments like massage and acupuncture to help alleviate their stress. For her acupuncture clients, Schmidt finds that “people come in disconnected from where stress lives in their body. They come in with symptoms of a racing heart and foggy thinking and feeling like I can’t handle my life, but they believe if they can just somehow ‘think differently,’ something might change. I try to connect them to the sensations in their body so there’s an awareness of what’s going on body-wise, which I find in turn gives them a sense of autonomy, which helps to lower their stress.”
6. Enjoy nature
A couple of years ago, doctors in Canada made news when they began prescribing passes to national parks as part of treatment for health in wellness. According to The Washington Post, “Studies have shown that time in nature can lead to a range of benefits, from lower stress hormones and heart-rate variability to higher self-esteem among children.” The director of the parks initiative also found that being in nature can help lower the stress we might be experiencing about climate change. If you're feeling amped up, connecting with nature can have a grounding effect—even just a short barefoot walk outside or time spent lying on a lawn can feel soothing. And being in nature doesn’t have to be time-consuming. “A five-minute work break to go outside and sit under a tree, going on your balcony and watching a squirrels or birds, watering your plants, or even just opening the window and inhaling some fresh air—all these ways can work to cleanse your mind and body of worry,” says Breland-Noble.
7. Be creative.
As an arts therapist, Jenefsky works in all kinds of creative ways with her patients to move through emotions and relieve stress: “Scribbling on page, ripping paper, squeezing clay, these are all ways to release tension through body.” She likes the agency and focus that creativity can bring. “Being expressive, learning a craft, playing music, focusing on a skill, when you’re in that in-the-moment flow, you’re engaged, you’re not thinking about your problems,” she says. “Creativity can also be like embracing the antidote to perfectionism,” adds Jenefsky, which can cause so many of us stress. “Let yourself try doing something you are not good at, like painting a mug, where the outcome doesn’t matter. Who cares if it’s ugly? It’s so much fun when you just let go.”
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