How to Cope If Pregnancy Is Messing With Your Body Image
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Pregnancy is a time of tremendous growth: personal growth, growth of your family, and growth of your body. As you know, weight gain is a sign of healthy progress for both you and the fetus—but even if you’re mostly thrilled about that (minus the morning sickness), it can be all too easy for body image issues to get you down.
It makes a ton of sense if your feelings about pregnancy changing your body are complex. They’re not just about you—they’re entangled in social stigmas that can be especially sticky when you’re expecting. Weight shaming still runs rampant in our society and body size is morally charged, Angela C. Incollingo Rodriguez, PhD, the assistant director of psychological and cognitive sciences at the Worcester Polytechnic Institute in Massachusetts, tells SELF. It seems the smaller you are physically, the greater your “worth” is as a person.
You’ll also probably face comments about your body at some point, for both valid reasons (say, from your doctor when discussing your health) and infuriating ones (fatphobic and sexist remarks from strangers or even loved ones). It’s also maddeningly common to hear “well-meaning” comments like “You look tiny!” or “Are you sure you’re not having twins?” And—surprise!—people might suddenly be touching your belly without consent. All of that can be a lot to deal with.
Finding a way to feel better starts with acknowledging that you’re having a hard time. “Giving yourself the space to feel however you feel about your body—and knowing that it doesn’t mean you aren’t excited to have a baby—can be freeing,” Katie Gantt, RD, a registered dietitian with a focus on eating disorders and perinatal nutrition, tells SELF. If you’re hoping to make peace with your self-image during pregnancy, the strategies below can help you get there.
1. Find a meaningful way to connect with your body.
Don’t feel great about the way you look? Finding pleasure in taking care of yourself can help you make peace with your body image and contribute to a happier and healthier pregnancy, Nichole Wood-Barcalow, PhD, a licensed psychologist and the author of Positive Body Image Workbook, tells SELF. (This kind of self-care can also help ease potential depressive symptoms.)
Gantt recommends starting with activities you already enjoy that make you feel strong and happy. That might look like moving your body in ways that feel good, like by swimming or doing yoga; taking time to sit with your thoughts through meditation; or feeling restored by your relationships as you meal-prep with a partner or on the phone with a friend every Sunday. Building up a more constructive, appreciative approach to your physical self “helps separate thought and action,” Gantt says, and “reminds you that you can feel a certain way and still nourish and love your body.”
If you’re still having a hard time feeling in tune with your body, try honing in on how it’s…literally creating new life! “Remember that changes during pregnancy are normal and have a purpose,” Dr. Wood-Barcalow says.
For instance, as you notice your stomach growing, you might think about how much work your body is doing to support a growing fetus, or you can look into learning more about what type of development is going on at each stage of your pregnancy. This will help keep you rooted in the present moment, probably bring about some appreciation, and remind you of the reasons for all these changes.
2. Aim for balance in your diet, but keep in mind that you deserve to enjoy food too.
We’ve been conditioned to believe certain things about certain foods—fruits and vegetables are “good” and “healthy”; desserts are “bad” and “unhealthy”—and pregnancy can not only amplify these notions but also bring about all types of reactions to what’s on your plate. You may have aversions. You may have cravings. You may be ravenous. You may only be able to stomach butter noodles. As you handle all that, Gantt generally suggests aiming for a variety of complex carbs, fats, and proteins to keep you feeling energized and satiated. But you should also enjoy things that simply taste really good (macaroni and cheese, please). Getting nutrition through your meals—no matter how you do it or what foods you choose—is essential for a healthy pregnancy. “Even if the balance isn’t there, all food provides nutrients,” Gantt says.
Here’s something fun to remember too: Love Indian food or spicy Mexican? Eat it! The flavors that you eat while pregnant actually get transferred to the fetus via amniotic fluid, allowing your baby to experience the foods you love before they’re even born.
As your eating habits change and your pregnancy progresses, you can always check in with your provider if you’re unsure about your weight gain. And if your thoughts about food are disrupting your happiness or other parts of your health, connect with your ob-gyn, who might be able to offer resources and connect you with a mental health professional or registered dietitian who can help you reframe and provide some relief around difficult feelings you’re having about eating during your pregnancy.
3. If social media is making you feel crappy, give your feed an overhaul.
Plenty of prospective parents use their social accounts to learn about what’s to come, look for ideas, and otherwise feel connected to what they—and other people—are going through during pregnancy and raising kids. If you follow accounts that leave you feeling good about yourself and your body, that’s great.
Often, though, pregnancy content on social media tends to skew toward what we look like versus what we feel like, Dr. Rodriguez says—even if what you’re seeing isn’t overtly talking about appearance. Taking that kind of thing in can be tough on anybody. And if you’re already having a hard time, Dr. Rodriguez cautions, it won’t help to compare yourself to “somebody’s curated, filtered, perfect version of themselves.” This might lead you to feel more self-judgment, and that can also show up in how you relate to your body.
Checking in with your responses to the content you see and curating your feed accordingly can help. Take a look at the accounts you follow and ask yourself how scrolling through them affects your mood. Are you excited, happy, or inspired by the posts you just saw? Or are you maybe feeling self-critical or less-than? In the latter case, it’s time to unfollow or mute.
How you spend your time offline matters too. Authentic in-person interactions, especially with people who might be having similar experiences, can be really validating, Dr. Rodriguez says. Keeping up with friends in all stages of their lives—whether that’s having mocktails with a child-free girlfriend, taking a prenatal yoga class with a friend who’s pregnant, or meeting for coffee with a mom friend and her toddler—builds social support, which is a huge factor in helping you maintain perspective about what really matters to you and makes you feel good.
4. Share your experiences around eating and mental health with your care team.
If you notice you’re having a tough time with food and body image right now, don’t assume you have to just push through it on your own. Talk to your care team (which may include your primary care doc, ob-gyn, midwife, or mental health provider) about what you’re feeling during check-ins about your pregnancy.
You might start by laying out any of your potential past and present experiences with mental health conditions (including eating disorders) and issues with food insecurity (which can be a risk factor for disordered eating), Jennifer B. Webb, PhD, director of the We Are Mind-Body Kynd Lab at the University of North Carolina Charlotte, tells SELF. Open up about your hesitations too. Sometimes saying something like, “Talking about these topics makes me really anxious because x, y, z,” is enough to help the fear around it dissipate. All of this gives your providers a better sense of how to provide you the best possible care, based on your specific needs.
There are actionable ways to speak up about the care you receive too. Don’t want to see the number on the scale at your prenatal appointments? Say something like, “I’m having a hard time with all the body changes I’m going through, so I’m going to turn away while you weigh me. I just want you to assure me that if you want to discuss anything you see related to my weight, you’ll let me know.” If nothing else, Dr. Rodriguez notes that you do have some control over certain aspects of your care, and that knowledge can help you feel a little more at peace with all the changes you’re navigating.
5. Find a mental health provider who specializes in perinatal care.
Consider adding a perinatal therapist to your care team to help with any potentially tricky feelings about your body after you give birth. “Not surprisingly, research has shown a link between body image difficulties during pregnancy and postpartum depression,” Dr. Webb says, and working with a specialist can help you better understand and normalize your experience.
Even if you’re feeling mostly decent right now, it’s good to think ahead. “Pregnancy is a time of so many rapid changes—there are physiological cascades that influence how we feel,” Dr. Rodriguez says, meaning that it can sometimes be hard to predict the emotions that might crop up as things progress. When you preemptively put coping mechanisms in place for certain challenges, you’ll have the tools to handle them much better as they arise. Your ob-gyn may be able to provide a referral for a perinatal mental health professional or you can visit Postpartum Support International’s provider directory.
6. If you’re worried you’re showing signs of disordered eating, talk to a pro who can help you.
Things don’t need to be bad to justify seeking support from a mental health provider or registered dietitian who specializes in disordered eating. But there are some signs that you should reach out for the sake of your health. If you’re struggling with preoccupations about your weight, body, or relationship with food; excessively body-checking (like, you’re weighing yourself several times a day); exercising much more in an attempt to keep your weight from going up; or are militant about control over your eating (e.g., obsessively counting calories or weighing food), it’s time to talk to a professional. Other behaviors that warrant an expert’s help include self-induced vomiting, using laxatives for reasons related to weight, and binge eating.
If you’re not sure where to start, there are resources that can point you in the right direction, including The National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA), which offers a treatment/provider directory; Within Health, which provides remote care for eating disorder recovery through support from registered dietitians, therapists, and peers; and Eat Breathe Thrive, which blends yoga, education, and peer support to help you improve your relationship with food and yourself.
If you’re feeling severely anxious or depressed, including having thoughts of harming yourself, reaching out for help is imperative—and know that help is always available. Resources that offer free and confidential support include the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, the National Maternal Mental Health Hotline at 1-833-TLC-MAMA (1-833-852-6262), and Postpartum Support International at 1-800-944-4773, which offers everything from empathetic support groups to education on perinatal mood disorders.
While there are ways to take feeling better into your own hands, you shouldn’t feel like you have to solve these issues alone. No matter what you’re going through, it’s easy to feel like you’re the only one. But it’s important to remember that with the right help and support, you’ll be able to feel like yourself again—and, hopefully, enjoy yourself throughout your pregnancy so much more too.
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Originally Appeared on SELF
