What Coming Out Day Means to These Cyclists—And Why It Matters

From Bicycling

Each October, on the anniversary of the second March on Washington for Lesbian and Gay Rights in 1987, Human Rights Watch leads the celebration of National Coming Out Day as “a reminder that one of our most basic tools is the power of coming out.”

The struggles that those who identify as LGBTQ have faced in the past, as well as today, exists within the cycling community as well as our larger society. In our nod to this annual day of recognition and celebration, three cyclists who identify as LGBTQ share their stories and what this day means to them, in their own words.

Chris Mosier

Chris Mosier, 38, is a duathlete and triathlete, and the first transgender man to make a men's U.S. National Team. He is also the founder of TransAthlete.

I rehearsed the conversations I would have with my teammates hundreds of times before I had them face to face. I would consider every possible response and reaction, often sending myself into a panic. Many of these rehearsals, as well as my mental walkthroughs of coming out at work, to my family, old college friends, and others, happened during long runs or rides while training for triathlons, when it was just me, the road, and empty space to think.

I would think frequently about who I was meant to be, and how to tell others. The problem was, I didn’t see any athletes who “looked like me.” I didn’t see any transgender men competing against men, and that’s really what I wanted-it was essential for me to maintain my identity as a competitive athlete as I transitioned. At the same time, I wasn’t sure of the policies that were in place, and if I would even be allowed to compete, which delayed my decision to come out for over a year.

Ultimately, when I made the decision to tell others about my identity, I found my straight and cisgender teammates to be some of my greatest allies. Coming out to them was easier than I had expected, due in part to the ease with which I can communicate with them when side by side during workouts. It’s a strangely intimate, shared experience where it’s easier to be vulnerable.

On those long runs and rides, when shoulder to shoulder, it’s almost as though the walls come down. So that’s how I told my them: “I am transgender. I identify as a trans guy, and I want you to use he/him pronouns when you refer to me. Moving forward, I’ll be competing as male.”

Most reactions summarized what a great ally should do in a best case scenario. My teammates all said variations of, “That’s cool-how can I support you?” For most, I was the first trans person they had met. But they appreciated me and respected me as an athlete, teammate, and coach first and foremost, and that led to acceptance, even if they didn’t fully understand. They did their own research, and if they were unsure, they asked respectful questions.

Coming out greatly improved my performance as an athlete and my well-being as a person. Instead of worrying about what others may think of me or might be saying, I was able to fully own who I am and focus that energy on my training and racing.

I believe visibility is a powerful tool for social change, and being an out example provides a model of possibility for others to be their authentic selves-a model I wish I had when I was younger.

While coming out is not safe or comfortable for everyone, for me it has unlocked incredible opportunities and allowed me to share the message with others, regardless of their identities: It is possible to be your authentic self and continue to play the sports you love.

Brendan Housler

Brendan Housler is a Category 1 road cyclist from Tennessee with eight state and one national championship. He’s a cycling coach at Collaborative Coaching Group and publishes his writing at TheRealShorts.com, in addition to being a medical device distributor and internet advertiser. He can be reached at heyobrendan@gmail.com.

Coming out, or, as I like to describe it, letting people in, was the scariest and best thing I’ve ever done.

I remember noticing openly gay couples together, and the desire to experience that openness was stronger than any other want or need I’d felt before. I wanted it more than a national championship. I wanted to feel what it would be like to love a man and have my friends not only accept us, but love us.

Now that I’ve moved past a secret I held for 32 years, I know I can accomplish anything; relocate cities on a whim, start new businesses, win national championships! On the bike, it’s showed: I just had the best season of my career, winning my 75th Category 1 race and eighth Category 1 state championship, as well as winning a master’s national road championship.

National Coming Out Day is a moment of awareness and encouragement. Be aware of the positive effect you can have on the world by being the real you, and encourage others do to the same. Put yourself out there. Be willing to take a leap of faith, even when you can’t predict the outcome.

I’ve come to terms with the reality that some will never understand why I’m this way, and they’ll verbalize rude and mean things you’d expect to hear in middle school. Some adults are just bigots.

Your goal is to navigate past them. This may be hard in certain situations, but stand tall, gather allies around you (I’m here, if needed), and remember that if you’re struggling right now, things will improve. Nothing is forever, and your real friends will love the real you. I promise.

National Coming Out Day applies to all of my friends in and outside of the LGBTQ community. We can all be a little more real. To my non-LGBTQ friends, what in your life do you need to come out about, in order to live more authentically? We all have peculiarities, but owning them will enhance your relationships to a level you didn’t think possible. And by the way, thank you. We appreciate you and continually need your support, in any way that you can provide it.

Whatever you face, stand up for your fellow man or woman, and they will do the same for you. Be a pillar for change. Be unwavering. Send courage to those who will walk behind you, and thank those who have paved the way ahead.

Graham Weinstein

Graham Weinstein is a founder and the current director of OutCycling and Fearless Flyers, cycling clubs for LGBTQ cyclists based in New York City. He can be reached at graham@outcycling.org.

Coming out, to me, means ending isolation. That was my experience almost 30 years ago when I first walked into The LGBT Center in New York City, picked up a magazine, and read the words “you are not alone.” At the time, those words meant everything to me. I was deep in the closet, not even aware there was a National Coming Out Day, and struggling to make sense of my life.

It was 1992, and the magazine was Body Positive. I had tested HIV positive that year, and knew that if I stayed in the closet it would likely kill me. With that motivation, I pushed forward and came out in a big way-announcing that I was both gay and HIV positive at once. I focused on a healthy lifestyle, and that led me to recreational cycling. My first big ride was the Boston to New York 275 mile AIDS fundraising ride, produced each year by The Center. I took part in the ride for the community of it, joining over 2,000 other cyclists, all in an effort to raise funds and awareness for HIV/AIDS, the crises through which I was living.

National Coming Out Day is important because it provides a catalyst for those thinking about coming about to do so in a safe way, without crisis or hardship and with a focus on the positive benefits of living an authentic life. For me, that meant cofounding the nonprofit organization OutCycling, a network of more than 1,000 LGBTQ cyclists in the Northeast. We seek to bring diversity to the sport of cycling, and helping cyclists find community. Each June we come together to produce the NYC Pride Ride, a century ride with more than 500 participants starting and ending on the shores of the Hudson River in New York City.

In 2014, we formed the Fearless Flyers youth program in response to the obstacles that LGBTQ youth face, such as higher risks of violence, suicide, and substance abuse. Studies have found that supportive relationships with peers and adults, and access to structured activity, can lessen these risks.

OutCycling’s Fearless Flyers program fosters a safe and healthy environment for youth ages 16 to 21. Through 10 weeks of cycling, participants connect to a healthy lifestyle, get physical exercise, learn responsibility, and personal empowerment. And each graduate of the program earns a free bike, helmet, and lock.

Coming out, claiming my authentic life as an HIV positive gay man, finding community, and giving back has made my life worthwhile. Living in the closet is no way to live. There is so much out in the world to be a part of, but to be fully present means being true to your identity and claiming your authentic life.

Coming Out Day is the perfect time to start.

For more information on National Coming Out Day and to read more about resources available, head to hrc.org.

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