Chris Hessney & Simon Miall's Three-Day Wedding in Italy Was a "Wicked Party"—Not a Wedding
"It was, essentially, an unimpeachable quid pro quo," jokes Simon Miall of the blind date that his friends orchestrated for him with Chris Hessney, founder and creative director of Hessney & Co., an event production and design firm in New York City.
Simon, an ex-pro rugby player turned financier and investor, had just been transferred to New York from London. His friends, Teresa and Minesh, were eager to set him up with Chris, who was consulting for Catch restaurant, which at the time was home to some of the city's most exclusive reservations and tables. " I had met Minesh at Catch and he said that he had this guy for me who was English and used to play rugby. I was like 'Ok, I'm listening...' but I didn't see a photo of Simon before our first date," Chris recalls. Simon, as he often does to complement Chris's storytelling, then delivers the underlying punchline: "My friends wanted free cocktails and a good table—they definitely didn't think about whether we would be a match." Minesh took Chris' business card and introduced him to Simon via email, who, as Chris remembers, "responded within 15 seconds to the email thread. 'Nice to meet you—drinks Saturday night?'"As it turned out, after one of the few truly blind dates to take place in the age of social media, the two were a match—and then some.
"Our first date was full of everything you aren't supposed to talk about on a first date," remembers Chris. "Religion, marriage, crazy outlooks, all the heavy things you're not supposed to discuss. I was telling him what was up, where I was at, and how I got there." But it didn't phase Simon; "It interested me. The superficiality of normal conversation can be quite dull; it was nice to have a real conversation with someone. It's not always a given that two men on a date have the same values of wanting marriage and children...that level of conversation cuts through the bullshit." he said.
That date lead to what many would dub a whirlwind romance. "We moved in fairly quickly," says Simon. "I think I spent one night in Chris's shared apartment before we decided things needed to change—he moved in officially after about six months." The two dated for about three and a half years before their engagement, which Simon initiated with not one, but two proposals.
If you ask Simon, he proposed on Christmas Eve of 2017 in London. Ask Chris and you'll get two proposal stories. "Simon first proposed to me in Cap Ferrat. I was doing an event at the Grand Hotel Cap Ferrat. Our good friends, Jia and Enzo, got married there and I was doing the wedding. We had the best time, but Simon was really proud of me; it was my first big wedding and I was basically showing the work that I'd been doing for two years on my own, with my company, to him and our closest friends. In the car ride home, Simon, who had a really great time at the wedding, proposed to me—with our good friend DJ Lora in the front seat."
"He said, 'I don't go to many weddings, but we should totally have a party like that....we should get married. Let's get married.'" That proposal, given its late-night spontaneity, needed a remix—and Chris gave Simon three months to make it happen. "The real proposal was a little high-risk for me," recalls Simon. "We had organized a trip where Chris's parents were going to come and join us to spend Christmas in London with my family before we went up to Scotland for New Year's Eve, and then down to Chamonix to ski for a couple of days. I thought that it would be a great idea since we both love Chiltern Firehouse and our parents would both be in town to do it there. I had called the hotel in advance and asked if they'd open up the top of the fire tower for us after dinner and invite us up there for dessert. I got a cuff from Dunhill and hid it in the plant at the top of the fire tower and had a playlist put together of only songs that meant something to us. I had some desserts, some joints pre-rolled for him, a bottle of Champagne for me, and then there was this view of North London. It was a tiny little fire tower and this view, and just the two of us."
Despite his deadline for a re-proposal, Chris had no idea that this grand gesture was leading to their engagement. "I was suprised! But he got down on one knee and said 'I want to spend the rest of my life with you; I want to start a family with you. Will you marry me?'" After an amazing trip, New Year's Eve, celebrations with family, and calling friends, the reality set in. It was time for the event producer to do the impossible: plan his own wedding.
"We knew we wanted to do Europe. We had been to a lot of weddings abroad and we knew we wanted to have a wicked party and be near an airport, to make it easy for the UK crowd and the U.S. crowd. We had landed on Italy and I had looked at some places in Florence and Rome—but then we met and I canceled my trip and went to Milan to visit Como." By "we" Chris is actually referring to me, the Weddings & Travel Director of BAZAAR.com. We met working on a photoshoot for BAZAAR Bride, shot by Christian Oth, and he and I were dining and catching up with Christian Oth Studio's Director of New Business, Makenzie Lynch. In hearing his desire to wed in Italy, we jumped at the chance to refer Rachel Birthistle and Taimar Birthistle Cooke of The Lake Como Wedding Planner—and one of our favorite villas, Villa Balbiano, a Heritage Collection property.
With guests staying all along the lake, but predominantly at Grand Hotel Tremezzo, the couple planned a rehearsal dinner at Villa Sola Cabiati, owned by the hotel, as well as an impromptu welcome dinner at Al Veluu, a restaurant owned by a married couple where food is prepared using fresh-from-the-garden ingredients and dinner is enjoyed with delicious wine overlooking sweeping views of the lake, or indoors in front of the fireplace. With plans to have dinner with their families to kick off the weekend, Chris and Simon were less than surprised when the majority of their guest list arrived for an unplanned welcome party. "It was the last night before the restaurant closed for the season," Simon remembered. "It was a night full of gems from the owner's wine cellar and impromptu speeches."
Their formal rehearsal dinner hosted at Villa Sola, "was a mini wedding in and of itself," explains Chris. Think cocktails and a gelato cart under market lights in the maze garden in front of the villa's grand façade, small bites passed inside the museum-like interiors—which include a room designed for Napoleon and Josephine, with some of their belongings displayed—and dancing late into the night under Murano chandeliers on the ground floor, with music by DJ Lora.
As for the wedding venue, the choice of Villa Balbiano just made sense. "We saw about nine venues on Lake Como, before we landed on ours," Chris says. It was icing on the cake that both venues had starred in photoshoots for BAZAAR Bride, and were produced in collaboration with the couple's planning and photography team. Chris and Simon tapped Christian Oth to photograph their wedding given his experience on the Lake, and their friendship formed after multiple industry collaborations.
"Simon trusted me, being that I have an event company, to handle the logistics—and I promised myself that I would pick a venue with a solid rain plan," Chris said. "You should always go in with the expectation that if the weather is horrible on your wedding day, that you will be totally happy with whatever setting you have. I've worked with so many couples who have chosen a venue just because they were obsessed with the outdoor spaces." And in touring Villa Balbiano, the groom immediately noticed the expanse of manicured gardens—and an abandoned greenhouse at the top of the property, which instantly spoke to his love of florals and his personal style. "I loved the layout and how perfect all the gardens were, and I loved the landscapes and you're walled in by these insane hedges," he said.
Sadly, hosting an event in the greenhouse wasn't feasible—but building their own was. With the plan to wed overlooking the lake at the back of the villa, the couple enlisted Le Coperture, a greenhouse marquee company based in Treviso, to construct the greenhouse of their dreams—which they planned to have decorated in lush greenery courtesy of Putnam & Putnam, dear friends of the couple who tapped local florist Rattiflora to help execute Chris's vision for the dinner tent.
"I had this vision of an abandoned greenhouse vibe. I like kitschy, I like overgrown, Old English, a bit of Dutch Masters, always with a hint of masculinity. I think romanticism can be a lot of different things, but for me it was dripping with candles and chandeliers, with tons of flowers and vines overgrowing—and kind of messy, but still really beautiful. Not a palace with full of gilded molding." Ironically, Villa Balbiano does have its fair share of gilding. And frescoes. And grandeur. But the combination of the design, the gardens, and the opulence of the interiors worked well to create the various ambiances the couple was striving for.
"The great thing about our venue was that you had four different 'events' in four different spaces, and each could be perfectly set up for that event," said Simon. "You had everyone arriving by boat, enjoying a cocktail on the lawn; the ceremony overlooking the lake; going out to the front gardens for cocktails after the ceremony; then moving over to the glass tent for dinner, where there wasn't anything set up other than the tables, a tiny dance floor, and a small stage with a grand piano in the middle—which was amazingly intimate and great for the energy—and then you walk across the lawn into the villa where you had the disco and the dessert rooms later that night."
The couple spent the week together at the villa, before Simon headed off to Grand Hotel Tremezzo to get ready for the ceremony, with his groomsmen in tow. Chris and his stayed back at the villa, awaiting Simon and his friends arrival by boat. Wanting to go back to his British roots, Simon tapped his sister-in-law and stylist, Annie Miall, and stylist Daniel Johnson to assist him in creating a bespoke suiting on Savile Row for the occasion. Chris wore Thom Browne for all the weekend's events.
Guests also arrived by boat, and were greeted with drinks on the lawn prior to the ceremony. Teresa Teague, a co-conspirator in setting up the couple, officiated the non-religious ceremony. Before the vow exchange, family members recited readings, like Simon's favorite, "Life Is Not a Journey," by philosopher Allan Watts. The two wrote their own vows—or in Chris's case, landed on them in the moment. "I was adamant about saying what I felt in the moment. There are so many things I wanted to say about Simon, and I was so excited to marry him, and I figured, I'm not going to prepare anything and I'll say what I feel. I felt so comfortable, we were surrounded by people who really care about us and love us, and I was overwhelmed with so much gratitude, happiness, family and friends; I just spoke from the heart." The couple exchanged rings, which they designed with Material Good in New York City.
After cocktails on the lawn and in the front gardens, guests meandered over to the glasshouse, and found their seats by reading off of calligraphed scrolls held by well-dressed staffers, created by Ink Revival along with the invitation, seating cards, and the rest of the weekend's printed goods. Tables laid with dove grey velvet were adorned with Laboratorio Paravicini serpentine plates, and sprawling centerpieces of ivy, jasmine, florals in and out of cloches, cracked open pomegranates, figs, and concord grapes, and more, designed by Putnam & Putnam. "I wanted the reception to feel like you were moving the outside in," said Chris. "Velvet keeps things really warm, and absorbs sound really nicely, as do the vines. We had Kimberly Nichole in the middle of the room doing three 15-min sets during dinner—and there were candles and candelabras everywhere in this intimate space." As for the details, "I wanted it to feel masculine, and not like a wedding tablescape," said Chris. "I've always loved snakes and serpentine motifs. I got these vintage prints in Paris on one of our first trips there together, and these intertwined snakes just seemed like the right vibe; we were in a garden, in a greenhouse...it just made sense." As an ode to the theme, the couple also celebrated their marriage with matching intertwined snake tattoos post-wedding.
"What I thought was amazing was that it was just so decadent to use this amazing tent—a glass structure that's probably as robust as a house that took days to put up—have it fully decorated by the Putnams who did an amazing job, and use it just for dinner," Simon said. "Most wedding tents are used for cocktails, dessert, and dancing afterward but ours was more about creating this one experience where you come in, eat, leave, and then never see it again which felt really cool and over-the-top."
Chris focused on the decor for the event, while Simon spearheaded the music and entertainment. "I cared most about the table settings, the layout of the space, the grand piano in the center, the sexy red lighting; it was all about guest experience, and to make sure everyone had a good time. If people completely stop eating or mingling to listen to the music, it's too much. If people aren't stopping at moments, it's not enough. It was all about the mood and the vibe—the lighting was dim, red at times, and there was zero spot or uplighting," Chris explained. Kimberly Nichole, who Chris and Simon first met at their friend Bronson Van Wyck's birthday party (where she opened for Duran Duran), performed three sets throughout dinner, before picking up where she left off to kickstart the after party. The Voice star serenaded guests during dinner with "American Boy" by Estelle for Simon, "Creep" by Radiohead for Chris, and many more tunes, which Simon carefully selected given his love of music, experience as a DJ, and creating playlists for all of the couple's get togethers and big occasions.
The couple noted that many of their friends (and guests) were tapped in the planning process for their advice and inspiration—from BAZAAR Best Planner Bronson Van Wyck to Kevin Sharkey, EVP and Executive Editorial Director at Martha Stewart Living. "Fiona Leahy leant me all these amazing things from London–cherub candelabras, a gold mechanical train to display the desserts, a DJ booth," Chris said. "And everything was so easy with Rachel, Taimar, and The Lake Como Wedding Planner team—we just never had to worry about things."
After dinner and toasts, guests were ushered into the villa for a full-on disco. Ladies changed into party dresses for the evening, and a set Simon had worked on with DJ Lora had guests on their feet until 4 a.m. A photobooth set up by Christian Oth Studio in the old chapel of the villa was created with Putnam & Putnam's ceremony florals, and guests posed for regal portraits until the early hours of the morning. "The photobooth was iconic," said Chris. "It was a real memory for guests and a keepsake from the wedding." When guests ventured into the side rooms of the villa's main floor, they found desserts, and even an indoor pool, guarded by a sexy Italian lifeguard.
After a recovery beach brunch the next afternoon at Lido di Lenno, guests refused to let the party end. "The next night, we had an impromptu pizza and movie night at the villa," Chris remembers. "We went across the street and bought all the pizza, wine, and gelato we could find. We set the dining table with the wedding china and all the arrangements and we put all the candelabras around the house. We even all made flower crowns with all the leftover flowers."
Chris and Simon didn't leave Italy after the wedding. After spending the days before their wedding week in Florence and Portofino with friends, they took off to Venice after the wedding with Simon's family, spending a night in the Dolomites and some time in Verona before heading home. As a first anniversary celebration, the couple traveled to Hong Kong and Vietnam's Amanoi for a 10-day honeymoon.
In reflecting on the day, which all their friends and family are still talking about, Chris doesn't discount the creative collaboration of the planning process. "It wasn’t only about getting 'the best of the best'—even though we did—it was about who we wanted to work with and spend time with leading up to the wedding and during it. For me it was about the collaborative process with Rachel, Christian, Mikey and Darroch Putnam, Sarah from Ink Revival...all of the people involved in the wedding were or have become our close friends."
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