Take the centerpiece, leave the vase? 20+ ways to be the best guest at a Southern Wedding

Sundi Rose
·4 min read

Most of us have been to countless weddings, and if not, we’ve all seen Steel Magnolias enough times to know there are some hard and fast rules when it comes to weddings in the South. They are an entity unto their own, and sometimes the planning of the wedding events lasts longer than the marriage itself.

As wedding season approaches, we’ve consulted the ultimate authorities on Southern wedding etiquette, Southern Living and Good Housekeeping, to keep you in the know on the guest list. Follow these rules to be the best wedding guest, ever.

RSVP, RSVP, RSVP

The importance of this cannot be understated. You MUST alert the couple in the way they wish to be informed. Also:

  • Do it on time. A late RSVP is the same as no RSVP.

  • Only the names on the envelope are invited to the wedding. This includes spouses and, yes, children. If they don’t make the address label, leave ‘em at home. Absolutely no uninvited guests, whatsoever.

Guidelines for sitting and standing

  • More traditional weddings will have the bride’s family on the left and the groom’s family on the right during the ceremony. Sit where you’re told. If it matters to the couple, it should matter to you.

  • Follow the seating chart for the reception. It likely took a lot of consideration and contortions of family politics. It is very rude to ignore it.

  • Do not, EVER, sit on the front row, unless you are expressly invited by the couple. That is for family and special guests only. Don’t be that person.

  • After the processional, the guests should only stand for the bride once the mother of the bride is on her feet. Not a second sooner.

Dress code protocol

  • Under no circumstances should you ever wear white to a wedding. In fact, stay away from ivory, cream, ecru, seashell, alabaster, etc. If you have to ask yourself, “Is this too much white?” take it off immediately. It is.

  • Don’t turn up to a wedding looking like an unintentional bridesmaid. If you have to ask, Google it.

  • Do not wear anything too tight, too bright or too short. You aren’t supposed to upstage the bride or pull focus from the couple’s special moment.

  • Don’t ignore the dress code. These pictures will live on in perpetuity so, those Crocs with socks will haunt you forever.

  • No tuxedos or sequins before the sun goes down (unless it is explicitly stated by the couple).

Attendance and tardiness

  • Arrive exactly on time. Don’t be early and definitely don’t be late.

  • Don’t leave the reception too early, but don’t overstay your welcome.

Concerning social media and phones

  • Do not let your phone be in any of the photos. Don’t step in front of the photographer or reach out into the aisle for a photo of the couple. This ruins countless moments.

  • Unless they have given express permission, do not post images of the wedding or the bride in her gown.

  • Use the correct hashtag assigned to the event. Don’t start your own or forget to add it. Some couples use these posts to compile albums.

  • Don’t text either the bride or the groom on the day of the wedding. They don’t have time for foolishness, so find someone in the wedding party to answer you.

Booze-related concerns

  • First and foremost, just don’t get too drunk. Most of the other rules will seem logical if you can keep that blood alcohol in check.

  • Don’t take bottles from an open bar. Just because you aren’t paying for them, doesn’t mean the couple isn’t.

  • Keep your toasts G-rated and do not give any surprise speeches. The couple or the wedding planner should know who is going to speak, always.

  • Tip the bartenders, even at an open bar. This is just good life advice, generally. Be a good tipper.

Miscellaneous and sundry rules

  • Buy a gift from their registry only. Don’t go rogue.

  • Don’t bring the gift with you to the ceremony or reception. Despite what you see on TV and movies, this is just not a thing.

  • You are allowed to take home a centerpiece from the reception, but leave the vase. They are most likely rented.

  • Take your wedding favor home. The couple has already paid for it, and they definitely don’t want to take them back home with them.

  • Don’t applaud during the ceremony. It’s best to just wait until they are pronounced married and are leaving the altar.

  • You say “congratulations” to the groom and “best wishes” to the bride. If you forget who gets what, a general “good luck to ya” will do.

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