Cats ending explained
Note: Contains spoilers for the Cats musical and movie.
There are cats singing, cats dancing, cats with breasts and a cat that wears a fur coat – which, if it's made from another cat, is Silence of the Lambs-style disturbing – in director Tom Hooper's new movie Cats.
We think it's safe to say there are lots and lots of cats in it. But what in the furry hell did we just witness in Cats?
Spoilers ahead for the musical and the movie, just in case you're worried about those sorts of things.
Based on the stage musical by Andrew Lloyd Webber, Cats actually began life as a book of poems by TS Eliot called Old Possum's Book Of Practical Cats.
First printed in 1939, it's a collection of light-hearted poems, each one about a particular cat such as Macavity the Mystery Cat, who is a master criminal (and modelled on Sherlock Holmes' adversary, Moriarty), the ancient and wise Old Deuteronomy and Skimbleshanks, a tabby who works on the railway.
Eliot's quirky poems were hardly the most obvious choice of material for a stage musical because, you know, they have no plot – and the same applies now that it's been turned into a movie.
Hooper's adaptation is extremely faithful to the show it's based on, with the director choosing to stick to the sung-through format, as he did with Les Misérables.
The start is at least (slightly) different as the movie's version of kitten Victoria (Francesca Hayward) is shown being abandoned, before getting welcomed into the Jellicle tribe of cats.
Where in the stage show, the cats gather on stage to tell the audience about the Jellicle tribe of cats and how they get their names, the movie sees these songs performed to Victoria as a way of showing her the bizarre world.
After this, a moggy named Munkustrap (Robbie Fairchild) reveals that wise Old Deuteronomy – who is male in the stage version and played by Judi Dench in the movie – will appear at the upcoming Jellicle Ball, held at the local junkyard.
Old D's job is to decide and reveal which cat will be chosen to be reborn into a new life (cats have nine of them, remember?) in a place called the Heaviside Layer, which seems to be some sort of kitty heaven, presumably filled with cat scratchers, yummy mice and all the catnip you can sniff.
(Some Cats fans believe the kitties are volunteering to be put down but that's just, well, horrid).
Cats then becomes like a fluffy version of The X Factor as cat after weirdly-named cat takes to the stage to reveal via song and dance why they should be the chosen one.
First, there's Jennyanydots (Rebel Wilson), who lazes around all day but is super-productive at night and can tap dance, which must be good for getting stubborn kitty litter off your paws.
Then comes the rebellious Rum Tum Tugger (Jason Derulo), followed by the formerly glamorous but now rather old, moth-eaten and lonely Grizabella (Jennifer Hudson).
There is also podgy gentleman cat Bustopher Jones (James Corden) and naughty Mungojerrie (Danny Collins) and Rumpleteazer (Naoimh Morgan) to meet before Old Deuteronomy finally shows up.
In the play, the assembled cats then put on a play for the elderly cat, but in the movie, that's been transformed into an extended interpretive dance.
What's also different is that, unlike in the play, Macavity (Idris Elba) is more of a presence in the movie. In his quest to be chosen to be the cat to go to the Heaviside Layer, he goes around magicking away any cat he believes to be a threat, with them being kept captive by Growltiger (Ray Winstone) on a barge in the River Thames.
The Jellicle Ball then begins and poor Grizabella (Jennifer Hudson) is ignored by her fellow felines. After a teaser of Grizabella's showstopping number 'Memory', Victoria sings the movie's only new song 'Beautiful Ghosts'.
More cats then step up to be noticed with Gus (Ian McKellen), the old theatre cat, Skimbleshanks (Steven McRae), the railway cat, giving their all, before Macavity crashes the proceedings.
In another change to the musical, Macavity and Bombalurina (Taylor Swift) perform, sprinkling catnip on every other cat to further whittle down Macavity's competition. He thinks it means Old Deuteronomy will send him to the Heaviside Layer, but she refuses so he magicks her off to Ray Winstone's barge.
(The musical sees Macavity's followers capture Old Deuteronomy and Macavity returns to the stage disguised as him. Macavity is soon discovered, but manages to escape the angry cats as the stage lights go out.)
Rum Tum Tugger asks magician cat Mr Mistoffelees (Laurie Davidson) for help in bringing back Old Deuteronomy, and after several failed attempts, he manages it. The rest of the cats on the barge are left to fend for themselves, but they manage to overpower Growltiger.
Victoria encourages Grizabella to come and perform and she belts out 'Memory', leading to her – surprise, surprise – being chosen to go to the Heaviside Layer.
She heads up towards the sky (in a chandelier hot air balloon in the movie, naturally), before all the other cats gather and, like in the musical, Old Deuteronomy addresses the audience one final time.
Yes, it is as utterly bonkers as it sounds.
Cats is out in cinemas now.
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