Former reality star Cameran Eubanks on embracing motherhood
Yahoo Life is joined by "Southern Charm" alum Cameran Eubanks to discuss motherhood, mental health and her life during the pandemic. The author of "One Day You'll Thank Me: Essays on Dating Motherhood, and Everything in Between" shared that the most important thing she's learned from being a mother is empathy. "Not to say that I was not an empathetic person before, but becoming a mother — it opens your heart in a way that you just can't believe," she says.
Video Transcript
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CAMERAN EUBANKS: So, I would describe my book, "One Day You'll Thank Me," as a collection of short stories, essays, advice just overall from my life. What I've learned so far in my 37 trips around the sun. My favorite chapter in the book would probably be the conclusion, which talks about what I feel you gain as a mother. The most important thing that I've gained as a mom is just empathy. Not to say that I was not an empathetic person before, but becoming a mother opens your heart in a way that you just-- you can't believe.
How to describe my relationship with my daughter Palmer. We're a lot alike. We're both hard headed, lose our temper easily, but she does have a great sense of humor. I'm very grateful for that. Palmer and I have been making the pandemic relationship work. Back in March last year when they shut down school, it was just the two of us at home all day every day. And I've been very strict. We don't really socialize a lot.
It was very hard for me because thinking up little child games and ways to entertain a toddler does not come natural to me. There were days when we would sit on the front porch and I would give her bucket of water and a paintbrush and I would ask her to paint the house just so I could, like, take a shower or make the time go by, which is pretty sad and pathetic. She is back in school now and-- knock on wood-- she hasn't been sick. Like, not a cold, not a stomach virus, nothing, and it makes me wonder if it's just the mask that they're having to wear in school, so they must work.
One of the biggest challenges I faced during the pandemic as a mom is just, I think, the uncertainty. I want my kid to not have to worry about wearing a mask and I want her to be able to socialize and that has really been limited, as it should be, due to this pandemic. I'm fairly certain that I have GAD, which is generalized anxiety disorder. I've never been diagnosed with it and I'm not medicated but I'm pretty self aware to know that I have it. And with my husband who's an anesthesiologist and he's literally in people's airways every day, it's very high risk with COVID, he would leave for work, I would cry, so worried about him. He would come home, strip his clothes in the garage. It was a crazy, crazy time, so it definitely heightened my anxiety.
And motherhood in general I feel like increases your anxiety. If you're an anxiety-prone person, you know, you bring a child into this world, you're going to constantly worry about it. I am definitely a control freak. It is a negative attribute of mine. I'm trying to get better but I finally got to a point where I said, you know what? This is out of my control. I cannot control it and me worrying about this and ruminating on it is not going to change the outcome.
I do not take medication. I meditate. I took a course in transcendental meditation and being able to access meditation has greatly helped my anxiety. You control what you can but you ultimately have to have faith and I don't want my child to see me as an anxious person because I don't want her to mimic that. I try to do better, I try to hold it in, and I try to let go.
The most rewarding part of being a mom during the pandemic is you are ultimately forced to spend more time with your child and it's something that I know can be very trying in the midst of it, but I do think, for those of us that have had to, we're going to look back one day and be grateful for this time. She is so young and she's probably not going to remember this. If she does, it will probably be one of her first memories. I want my child to have a normal childhood. I'm ready-- I'm ready for it to be over. Everybody get vaccinated.
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