Bullet Journaling Stresses Me Out, So I Talked To Psychologists About What To Do Instead
There is little in life that gives me as much pleasure as a nicely written to-do list. I have a collection of physical (yes, as in paper, not digital) planners that would baffle any Gen Z-er. And I keep a stack of journals next to my bed for those moments when I'm inspired to organize my mind.
Yet, despite all of this, including my obsessions with control, organization, and paper goods, I hate bullet journaling. I'm talking with-the-heat-of-a-thousand-suns-level hate.
First, a quick refresher: WTF is bullet journaling again?
ICYMI, bullet journaling is the pen-and-paper trend you can't stop scrolling over on Instagram. It's part-day planner, part-diary, and part-written meditation, with the goal of organizing your entire life to be your best, most productive self (according to the pros at the OG Bullet Journal).
Unlike more traditional organization methods, a BuJo, as the true fans call it, is best described as a task-management system that's divided into sections to log content such as daily to-do's, monthly calendar deets, long-term intentions, etc. And there are lots and lots of symbols and bullets to guide users along the way.
Exhibit A:
A post shared by Jess ☼ Light Plans (@lightplans) on Oct 4, 2019 at 6:47pm PDT
All those doodads and dashes? They're my equivalent of hieroglyphics—no matter the number of attempts I've made to join the BuJo bandwagon and memorize the key. But therein lies one of the, IMO, **many** problems: last time I checked, an organization method is supposed to simplify my mind's chaos, not amplify it by forcing me to study a fifth language. (English, Spanish, Italian, and Hebrew were enough, TYVM.)
Now, onto the good stuff: like, how bullet journals are a perfectionist's worst nightmare.
Perfectionist being me.
Because here's the thing: You can't just walk into any ole paper-goods store and pick up a bullet journal. No, instead, you need to create one by hand. But having to precisely measure out each section and outline accordingly with help from a ruler and pen (read: permanent ink) is enough to make me start sweating silly. Seriously, just thinking about it—and the pressure to get each line just right, just straight enough, just bold enough—actually makes my palms clammy.
Not 100-percent ready to give up the BuJo lifestyle? Here's how to fix common mistakes:
What happens if you mess up? What happens if you smear the ink and then you're forced into one of two options: be reminded of that inky mess every darn day or rip out the pages and start alllll over again (which, btw, is the only reasonable option in my world).
Now, I know how crazy I sound. I do. After all, a little party pen smudge never hurt nobody...right? Eh, clearly not. And apparently, my gripes are legit—at least, according to experts like Jaime Zuckerman, PsyD, a clinical psychologist in New York City. "People who have a tendency to be perfectionistic often will focus on small details so much so that they lose sight of the larger goal."
This then leads to anxiety and procrastination (the opposite of a BuJo's goal), because the angst of not completing something perfectly is so uncomfortable that "they never finish the task in order to avoid that discomfort, and that becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy," Zuckerman explains.
And there you have it, folks: justification for my inability to complete even the first page of a bullet journal without ripping and starting over on repeat until I am so distraught, I wave the white flag and move on.
Also: Bullet journals are so freakin' bossy.
Do this, star that, check off something—the list of instructions goes on...and on...and on. Even for a self-proclaimed, Monica Geller–esque rule lover like myself, these "rules" from the BuJo feel more like bullsh*t orders delivered by a command sergeant—and I Did. Not. Sign. Up. For. That.
"When we get caught up in activities with rigid rules or steps, they can unintentionally activate our brain’s fear and anxiety center, called the amygdala," says Therese Mascardo, PsyD, clinical psychologist and CEO/founder of online wellness community, Exploring Therapy. This then signals the brain to release stress hormones that trigger your fight-or-flight response—or freeze (a.k.a. action paralysis).
This is definitely not going to help you when you're trying to learn a new activity, like bullet journaling, she adds.
So here's the beauty: You don't have to bullet journal.
Instead, just try another organization system with fewer rigid rules, such as a guided journal.
A guided journal has you answer specific prompts to simple questions such as, "What is the most important task for me to accomplish today?" This might make you feel more in control and less pressured than when bullet journaling, Mascardo explains. If that type of quick-answer, quick-response scenario is appealing to you but you're not wanting to buy a new notebook, Mascardo recommends trying free journaling apps, such as Daylio, Reflecty, and Jour.
Similarly, if a digital platform is what you desire, "a good ole smartphone calendar" that you can color-code based on activity is always a safe bet, says Zuckerman. The same goes with your iPhone's Notes app, which Zuckerman uses for her own tasks and goals lists. She also finds emailing herself as a reminder, then deleting when done provides the "same function [with] less clutter."
Or, if you know you want to start journaling in some form (I mean, science says it's good for you), but are lost on what method to go with, start small. Write down three small, doable, and manageable goals you can accomplish that day, either in your phone's Notes or a notebook, per Zuckerman, who has her patients break down each goal into smaller parts that they can tackle throughout the day.
"Setting too many goals, then failing to complete them—and complete them well—only leads to more anxiety and stress, and less likelihood that you will continue to set daily organization goals," she explains.
If all else fails, leaving Post-it note reminders around the house can be super helpful, not just according to Zuckerman, but me as well. (Pro tip: It's also a great way to leave your roomie—or yourself—a love note in the a.m. 😉)
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